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musicman84
Jul 27, 2010, 08:25 PM
I hope the title of this thread isn't too generic but I wanted to get some thoughts and views on love. Having recently been broken up with, it has left me thinking more deeply about what it is to be 'in love', especially when the result turns out to be a break up.

I guess what I'm looking to find out is whether love is really that strong in the first place if it ends with one, or both people's feelings changing for the other.

Despite how strong a bond it felt in the early stages and subsequent months/years, if it eventually ends, does that mean it was never really as strong as originally thought? Would it always have been uncovered somewhere down the line that it wasn't the sort of love that would last?

martinizing2
Jul 27, 2010, 08:46 PM
The only thing about love that is consistent is that it is totally inconsistent.
It can start strong and stay or wane. It can start weak and grow. It can be sudden or build over a long time.
There are as many answers as there are people in love.

It would be great if a way was discovered to predict how it may eventually turn out , but I can't see that happening.

It seems that you can only act according to how you feel right now in your heart. It may be the love of your life or another heartbreak.

But you'll never find out if you never give it a chance.
It is always down the line you will find your answers. Hopefully you will find the one that lasts.

Kitkat22
Jul 27, 2010, 10:17 PM
My folks were married and completely in love for fifty-five years and their love was as strong as they day the fell in love and when my dad went to be with Lord she still loves him.
In fact, it was stronger after all those years together.

My mom always said you have to compromise and you have to be able to admit when your wrong.

My husband and I have been together for many years and we are completely opposite. It works.

I love him more everyday though we do disagree on things. He's quiet, I'm loud.. He's very soft spoken and easy going and I have a temper.

It's being able to know you are comfortable with silence when you're together or you talk about everything.

With all our flaws we have a great and lasting marriage. God has blessed us with great kids and grandkids.

The thing about it was, I wasn't even looking for a man in my life when we met.

positiveparent
Jul 28, 2010, 12:59 AM
This might help it's a little ditty I wrote a long time ago.

My Love, for you is like;
Sun after Rain
Like Dew in the Morning
Like Joy after Pain
Like the Sands of the Desert
Vast and Wide
Like the Might Oceans Roaring tide
Like the Jewels of Heaven
Sparkling above
Portraying forever the Heighth of
My Love

My Love for you will always be the
Height Breadth and Depth of Eternity.

Just Looking
Jul 28, 2010, 02:49 PM
I think there are different levels of love. One love is the feeling you get when you meet “the right person”, or the person you think is “the one”. It’s a sensation based on physical and emotional attraction. It seems magical, but it also falls apart when the magic disappears. You fall in love and you fall out of love. I wonder if falling in love is falling for your initial impression or what you want the person to be, not the real person. For love to move on to the next level, a lot of things are needed – both partners need to want it, the timing has to be right for both, and there has to be something deeper than the physical and emotional attraction.

At the other end of the spectrum is real, lasting love which has the elements of physical and emotional attraction, but there is something much deeper – an appreciation for all the person is, an understanding of what is truly “good” about them (e.g. their morals and values). Love is based on caring, friendship, commitment and trust. Lasting love includes caring for their well-being and growth and responding to their needs. It includes respect. It includes a deep knowledge of them as a person and a desire to know more (knowing their mind, heart and soul). There is trust, understanding, and acceptance. There is a connection that isn’t threatened, a security. It grows with time.

There are levels between these two as well. There can be so many reasons that your love doesn’t become real, lasting love. That doesn’t mean it was never strong. It certainly doesn’t mean there was no value in the relationship as all of our experiences shape who we ultimately become.