My question is I recently got a letter in the mail from dekalb county, georgia my sons mother has charge me with abandonment of child - in state(m) no clue why maybe because i told him he couldnt have something anyway we are not married my son is 14 i pay his cell bill and do things with him that i can afford do to the economy i lost a good job and i have been at my new job for a year that pays crumbs i had to move back in with mom and dad and basically have no life or forms of entertainment my question is since i dont give her cash money how is this abandonment??? i try to give him what he ask for and if i have to save i will my parents also help out with the things he needs theres never been a order of support ever i just do what i can and obviously thats not enough i only work 13hrs a week and trying to get more hours is hopless and searching for work has been slim

Paying a cell phone (that is NOT an essential item)and helping out, and taking him places is not supporting a child.

What most any court will demand is payments to the primary care giver. Which is not unreasonable. He is your child and you need to help support him.
The economy is bad and makes it hard, but it is bad for his mother too. And if you aren't giving her money, where is she getting it ? Is she working to support your son?

Not being (living) with your child and not paying any support is a dictionary definition of abandonment. How can you not see this ?

So what if there is no order of support, he is your child. You should not have to be ordered to support him. MAN UP!

Get another job if one doesn't do it. When you make a baby it comes with requirements you have to fulfill. For 18 to 21 years. So if you can't afford entertainment now it stems from the entertainment you had making the baby ,and you are going to have to make it do.

Do the right thing and really support your child.

i am not denying her anything or trying to get out of it in the state of georgia you can file for child support which many of my female associates have done but she filed for abandonment which the dictionary states

a·ban·don (ə-bān'dən)
tr.v. a·ban·doned , a·ban·don·ing , a·ban·dons
1.To withdraw one's support or help from, especially in spite of duty, allegiance, or responsibility; desert: abandon a friend in trouble.

2.To give up by leaving or ceasing to operate or inhabit, especially as a result of danger or other impending threat: abandoned the ship.

3.To surrender one's claim to, right to, or interest in; give up entirely. See Synonyms at relinquish.

4.To cease trying to continue; desist from: abandoned the search for the missing hiker.

5.To yield (oneself) completely, as to emotion.

n. 1.Unbounded enthusiasm; exuberance.

2.A complete surrender of inhibitions.


[Middle English abandounen , from Old French abandoner , from a bandon : a , at (from Latin ad ; see ad- ) + bandon , control ; see bhā- 2 in Indo-European roots.]
a·ban'don·er n. , a·ban'don·ment n. now maybe i being naive and just not seeing but in no way do i see giving her cash as part of support but that neither here or there that my interpitaion of abandonment is not having any contact not or doing anything for my son at all i could be wrong even when i spoke with a legal aid they say abandonment is when u have make no effort to contact your kid for 18months yes she works to support her her live in boyfriend that dosent work which i constanly have to here my son complain about his mom yelling at him to get a job...which i have on voicemal where she stated dont worry about support pay his phone bill( i agree 14yr old boy dosent need a cell phone why she wates now i dont care supports she wants find they can take it out of my check every week(

a·ban·don (ə-bān'dən)
tr.v. a·ban·doned , a·ban·don·ing , a·ban·dons
1.To withdraw one's support or help from, especially in spite of duty, allegiance, or responsibility; desert: abandon a friend in trouble.


A court will define support generally as payments made to custodial parent that can be verified by receipt , cancelled check, or other document.

So providing things, "helping out", getting what he needs, will not be considered as support.

So as to the definition . You have never ( by definition of the courts) paid any child support. Which means you cannot "withdraw" that support.

It was never there to withdraw ,it is GONE .
So when it is withdrawn ,it is GONE
They mean the same thing. It is GONE

So in def. 1 ( To have not provided )or (withdraw ones support or help from)

(in spite of duty,allegiance, or responsibility )


You did not pay for the child you are responsible for.

That statement is true.

And that statement fits the definition of abandonment.

The letter you got says you are CHARGED with abandonment. Being charged does not mean you did it.

It means you have been accused of doing it.


I am sure you will get the chance to argue in court if it is non-support or abandonment. I just don't think it will make much difference anyway.

You can't use a dictionary definition to understand a legal term. Georgia is one of the few states states that defines non support of a child as abandonment. The mother didn't pick the term, the state did. Essentially what the mother has done is file for court ordered support, the state just calls it abandonment.

Don't harp on the terms. Contact the court and see if they will give you direction on how to prepare your defense. Support is based on income so get your pay stubs and tax returns together to show the court what you make.

Yea I got past paycheck stubs bank statements for as tax returns the stutdent loan people always take those like I said I not fighting it all

Umm The student loan people shouldn't be taking your returns. You should be giving them copies only. Or, if they do require the original, then you keep the copies. But you should maintain copies of your returns for the past 7 years.