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View Full Version : What do you think?.


Flower100
Jul 18, 2010, 05:03 AM
I glanced around the room feeling alone and not recognizing a single person. Even though I recognized no one I felt like I had been here before. Maybe because I was at a tea party and I had been to countless before. In some way the people were always the same, robots. They spoke, walked, and acted the same way. It was really quite frightening. So I tried to run away from all the madness but when I tried to leave the room an exact replica was waiting on the other side of the door. I continued to run through the door but always landing in the same room as the one before. But I realized I couldn't run from the party any longer so I stared at everyone in the room. I looked them dead in the eye. Then I walked to the door feeling like something had changed. I opened the door slowly and realized I was free because I was outside enjoying the night sky in front of me.

Wondergirl
Jul 18, 2010, 12:41 PM
It might be more effective if you broke up the long sentences into short ones:

"I glanced around the room filled with people. I didn't recognize a single face, yet I knew I had been here before. This was a tea party. I had been to countless tea parties before this one."