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View Full Version : How can I be sure my online date is a scam?


happylive
Jul 13, 2010, 04:03 AM
I met this online date and we send emails for a month now and he declared his love to me. I really fell for him, he recently called me on the phone but when I first heard his voice over the phone, its just not what I would expect at all, he sounds so different from I thought and the call conversation was short as we don't seem to know what to say. He've no response until few days email me again, I'm confused. Then I came across about online dating scams and realised that some of his love emails to me can be found on internet... I don't know if he copied them because he is not good with words or what? God I don't know what to believe now that he might possibly a scam and what to do... how to be sure?

Curlyben
Jul 13, 2010, 04:28 AM
Well so far it all sounds quite normal.
Alarms bells should start ringing when they ask for cash..

I wish
Jul 13, 2010, 06:46 AM
Time will tell.

If you think that there are too many red flags, then pull out.

If you think that there's a chance that it could work out, then keep moving forward and keep getting to know him better.

No one is forcing you to be with him.

ISneezeFunny
Jul 13, 2010, 06:55 AM
Agreed with curlyben. I wouldn't give out TOO much personal info, and if/when he asks for money or something of the sort, bail out.

happylive
Jul 13, 2010, 07:25 AM
Thanks for all your responses, Yes, I will see if he be asking of help or money that suggest a scam...

I found some of the descriptions of dating scams seems to match like he has no family and bad experience on relationship... We're from different countries if his profile is real, but I really fell so much for him and the man in the photos that claimed to be him... Really hope he is not scam.. would hurt so much... any suggestion what should I do to know for sure? Is it possible anyway to find the real man in the photo if it turn out to be a scam?

I wish
Jul 13, 2010, 07:28 AM
There's always a chance that it will be a scam. Only time will tell what the truth is. The other way is to meet in person.

If you hesitate so much, why put yourself through so much torture? You're off to such a bad start with him. You're so suspicious of his every move. Why not simply cut your ties if you can't handle it?

It's not healthy to walk around with so many clouds of doubt hanging around you.

ISneezeFunny
Jul 13, 2010, 07:30 AM
Unlikely. Even if you do find him, it's unlikely that you can do much about it. Online scammers (usually from another country in Asia or Africa) generally use internet cafes and use an IP screener to bounce their IPs from different parts of the world, thus making them relatively difficult to trace.

IF this man is a scammer, I'm really really sorry... but don't go into it assuming that he is. Just tread carefully.

Curlyben
Jul 13, 2010, 07:32 AM
You mentioned that he called you, I hope you took a note of the number, because you can check the dialling/country code to make sure it corresponds with what his profile claims.

happylive
Jul 13, 2010, 08:56 AM
I live different country from him, so when I received his call it will not show any numbers for overseas call... He had given me his number after a couple of email and later I gave mine, he has asked me to call him anytime but I didn't really try to call him and we continue to email... until the phone call I got from him just recent, his voice and the way he speaks is not what I expect at all... feels so strange... but its not really a problem if only he is real...
If he turns out to be scam, I would stay away from it... but I still hope to find the man in the photos(which he uses) and get to know to this man... is possible?

positiveparent
Jul 13, 2010, 10:30 AM
You say he emails you, well get the headers checked out they'll show his IP address, and if its not the same in every email he's sent you chances are he's a scam merchant, he's also given you his phone number, ring him check it out.

If you have so many doubts why are you bothering, for all you know he is on the level.

Check the email headers thatll show you.. Phone him that will also show you what country he's in too.

Once you check the email Headers you'll get the IP, check that to see where it leads, as in country of origin.

Curlyben
Jul 13, 2010, 10:48 AM
Actually it's widely misunderstood what information is actually held in e-mail headers.

It is highly unlikely that it will give a location for the person sending them, the most you'll get is the IP address of the e-mail server, especially with webmails, like Gmaill and hotmail, etc.

happylive
Jul 13, 2010, 12:57 PM
Well, I search for the IP as you guys mentioned and sadly it apears the location different from his so called country... But I'm not very sure as I don't really know how to read the searched results, it contained many writings...

Just_Another_Lemming
Jul 13, 2010, 12:58 PM
If he turns out to be scam, I would stay away from it....but I still hope to find the man in the photos(which he uses) and get to know to this man... is possible?

No, if this is a scam, you will have a very difficult time finding out who the man in the photo actually is. With scams, the scammer will find a photo on the internet that he thinks, based upon the responses he has received from you, that you will be attracted to. Those photos are usually taken from modeling agency web sites.

You mentioned the voice wasn't what you had imagined. What country does this man say he lives in? What kind of accent do you think he has that make you suspect this man might not be the man in the photo?

I have found for me, when that inner voice tells me something isn't right, it usuallly isn't.

talaniman
Jul 13, 2010, 03:56 PM
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/internet-web/how-can-find-person-just-photo-sent-email-me-possible-scammer-487642.html



If you don't want to be scammed, don't give your heart to a stranger online, or do anything beyond the boundaries of good common sense.

If you're not sure, then use the utmost caution, until you are VERY sure. By caution, I mean protect yourself at all times and pay attention until you can confirm who, or what your dealing with.

Since when are emails actual dates, or phone calls a reason to get excited? Especially when you have never met, and are not planning to.