Hi again. Right, only one person gave me advice last time... and I need somemore views.. please!

I was having problems with my boyfriend (read 'i wish I could just disappear' for more info). I didn't want to break up with him, however, the relationship seemed to be failing. I thought he wanted out - so I asked him recently if he wanted to break up.

He thought about it, he said no. I asked him why he still wanted to be with me even though things were bad. He said it was because he still loved me and that he really wanted us to have a future together. I said that I did too but he had to put more effort in.

At the moment he's waiting to see if he is going to go to prison. That isn't what's wrong. The problem is that he says he's confused about his future-fine, understandable. He makes time to see his friends-they don't know he's possibly going to jail, I can see its easy for him to be around people where he can 'pretend' things are OK.

He won't spend any time with me.he calls me and texts me. I don't put pressure on him to spend time with me. I do miss him being around. The thing is he seems to want to be with his friends and not around me. So I asked him why it was so hard for him to see me. He gave me no answer whatsoever.

He can't or won't tell me what the problem is. He wants me as his girlfriend but doesn't want to spend time with me at all. I told him today that I did want to see him sometime soon, and he said 'you have to make me want to see you'.

Sure, this relationship is ridiculous. I'm not afraid anymore to tell him its over, because frankly-surely if he wanted it to work, he would at least try and make some effort right?

What I would like to know is what you peeps make of this. In short-why won't he let go, and if he still loves me and wants me-why won't he see me? I keep telling him that the relationship can end, but every time I suggest this he says that isn't what he wants. I am so so confused. Please help.x

This is just an opinion so you can take it or leave it be.  It seems to me like you are both going through some very rough times, and to take care of the stress you are taking it out on each other.  I think that, because I've done it too.  It also seems that he is trying to distance himself from you so he doesn't hurt you, but he doesn't realize that while he's doing that, he's hurting you anyway by making you feel like your alone.  I can understand why he was upset with you for thinking he was cheating again, but if he truly loves you, he will figure out that you were just trying to keep from getting hurt again, and he'll get over it.  He should see that because he cheated on you before, you are going to have your suspicions about it, and you're going to ask him if you suspect it.  Just from what I know from your posts, you really do love this guy and you'd like to give it a chance, but you're unsure right?  Give him time, and just be there for him when he needs you.  If he loves you, he'll realize the err in what he's doing, and maybe he'll start paying you a little bit of well-deserved attention.  I went through a similar situation a few weeks ago w/ my fiancé where I felt that in order to make her happy I had to be talking to her 24/7.  I made a total idiot out of myself, and I figured it out real quick like.  All I really needed to do was give her space, and be there for her when she needed me, and everything worked out in the end.  So if you want my advice, call him up, tell him you love him, and tell him that when he's ready, you'll be there for him.  I'm not making you any promises, and I'm not going to say it's going to happen overnight, but if he truly loves you, he'll come back to you.  If you feel the relationship will ever be able to succeed, you'll have to work for it and give it time.