princess_devil
Jul 5, 2010, 09:38 AM
Here's the thing I'm a 16 yr old muslim girl. Round my area such as school and stuff girls like me are always out into things and so on, and honestly id loveto do that too but I cant. I have 2 olderbrother ones 22 and the other is 19, theyr always saying no I'm not allowed. Me frm wt I remember was always strong, my mum is a diabetic fr almost 23 years now and she suffers it at its last stage, I feel I've seen quiet sum fr my age, like e.g. I've seen my mum at her illest and no one has bin there apart frm me, I haven't even gt my own room because I sleep in my mumz room, her sugar goes low all of a suden at night and she strs to scream and I wake up 2 run dwn get her blood chek, along with suming sweet, and yh ill wait around till she's better and then get bk into bed. Honestly my mums put me to a lot of rsponsibilty such as I gta clean the house evryday, like the hoover has to be dun and evry other day has to be dun upstairs 2, the bathrm has to be wshed 2 and now that I have holidays from school there's always more 2 take care off. Now the thing is even though I hardly know any girls that du this stuff I find it hard 2 talk 2 people and socialise mre. My brothers don't understand how I feel just a little suffocated but to them I'm not allowed out, I can't put eyeliner on, sometimes with girls dressing up fr no reason or looking good cheers them up and I'm one of them buh they won't let me, I can't go out at all cz I'm a "yung pakistani girl" even if it was just down the road, I get that they wna protect me buh I can manage, I feel so scared because my older bro gets really mad and though I love both my brothers very much and care fr my mum a lot I can't get them 2 understand hw I trapped I feel. I ask fr a little time 2 myself and that's 2 much fr them I have no intention 2 du wrong thingz such as smoke or be looking for guys I really don't. I know there's a time fr relationships and I'm not looking for one I want space and I want them 2 know I can manage but they don't and it really gets to me, my mums always said to me that I want you to be the daughter that can manage all the house work and still be good at school and I am, I've always dun higher fr all my subjects and bin happy in all my classes but I wna be stres free. My hair has thinned out in these past 2 yearsbecause of crap at home, such as dad drinking mum and dad arguments, me being the one with the responsibility of the house, I even telll my mum I feel she has put 2 much on me 2 soon, and now all of a suuden I'm weak. I cry thinking about how I'm stuk at home it really gets to me its becum a sensitive spot along with well this Friday I have my prom, I gt my dress etc, my brothers are still dreading me 2 go and they come out with no eye liner, its nt like I really wna but a good answer why nt! I find it really unfair and my mst closest friend told me I need to be stronger hw do I be stronger, I hate being upset but they get to me, I'm so fed up,, I duno wt 2 du