I feel like to hurt & kill myself..
Please help me..
I was in a serious relationship with one of my female colleague, she belongs to a high class family and I belong to a medium class family. She got transfer from Ahmadabad to Delhi. When she saw me the very first time since then she used to search the excuses to talk to me. My so many female colleagues told me that she likes me so much and wants to have a friendship with me. At that time I used to avoid her, but when I saw her true love then I also fell in love with her. After some months we got little fights with each other but we really wanted to be with each other, and one day I slapped her on a big fight but I said sorry & tried my best and got her again, after that again on a big fight I slapped her 4 to 5 times, then again I said sorry to her and got her again in my life. But she also agreed that I have done this on her illogical behavior. After that, on 4 April 2010 we went to buy some gifts for her birthday (6 April 2010) but again we got fight with each other on a stupid topic, then again I slapped her so many times but at the same time I felt sorry and got 2 slaps from her, and after 3 days I again tried my best and got her in my life, everything was going good and she always used to tell me that whatever will be the situation but at the end of the day we will remain together, but it was my last chance, because she gave resign due to some professional reasons and got a new job in new company on 1 step higher post and among 20-25 males she is the only female in her new office. Everything was going good, we had so many dates in this April and till mid of May. But after the mid of May situation was changing slowly slowly, her behavior was changing, she used to avoid me and at last on 6 June 2010 she ended up the relationship, she told me that neither she wants to see may face nor wants talk to me.
She told me that our last fight is a big reason of this break up. But I felt that I'm not as much successful as like her father that is why she left me, because so many times she used to tell me that I should change my job and try to be a successful person as like her father and I was trying hard be a successful person in her sight. And even after our break up I was saying sorry and trying hard to pursue her but I got a last message firm her that ' I DON'T WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE LIKE A BEGGAR WITH YOU, YOU CAN BEAT ME, ABUSE ME, AND DIST RUB ME AND I DON'T WANT TO BE A LOSER LIKE YOU'.

I accept all my faults, I accept that it's a huge sin. But from the depth of my heart I love her so much. My life has become hell please help me, my heart is burning, for last 3months I have been saying sorry to her. How can I get her back in my life, I can't live without her, she is my luck, my life, my love, my friend.
We were like a husband-wife.
Please Please Please help me..
Daily I'm crying like anything..
Please help me, Please help me..
I can't live without her..
Please suggest me what to do?
Sometimes I feel like to hurt & kill myself..

Your love means nothing when you keep slapping her around, even after all the chances you had to do better.

Time has run out on your chances and you have no more. Sorry guy but get help for your abusive ways and then make some changes for the future. She is done and well she should be, and you have to accept your very bad behavior, and learn better behavior.

Now it hurts a lot I know, but hurting yourself and wanting to die is the easy, cowards way out, and accomplishes nothing but hurt for yourself, and those around you. That's plain selfish, when you can do the work it takes to be a better man. Cry if you must, but sooner or later you still have to work on yourself, because even if she never comes back, you will see another in time, and it would be a shame if you were not ready for her, when she does appear in your life.

Accept that you are not ready to be a good man, to a good woman, and do what it takes to be one.

You've lost this person because you slapped her, and you have no right to hit another person, especially not a female, it shows you had no respect for her or yourself, you've got to get treatment for your violent nature, you cannot go around slapping people and then think you can just pick up where you left off, it's a mouse who hits a woman not a man and she obviously deserves better than you'll ever be able to give her, and saying sorry means nothing, its actions not words, you said sorry the first time you slapped her and then did same again and again, you said sorry but obviously your words were empty, and you lost her, she did right by getting away from you, and if she stays away that's your own fault you don't go around hitting women, EVER.

You're feeleing bad and so you should be, hitting a female is a despicable act, and she's well rid of you. Get treatment, for your violence NOW.

Saying sorry to her now means nothing you've said it before and still went on to slap her again, you need to do something about this now and show that you're truly sorry, but you also need to accept that you are the reason she doesn't want to be with you, you hit her and she forgave you twice and yet you still hit her again, no wonder she doesn't want to believe you, you've destroyed her faith and trust in you.

Do something about this now before you meet another female and do the same again...

You need to get into anger management and learn to deal properly with your anger.

You deserved to lose her and had she posted here we would have told her to run from you as fast as possible.

And any man who abuses a women I can not even recommend that she ever go back to him.

Now you are suffering because of actions you did and deserve to feel this pain NOW.

So getting help and changing is up to you