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View Full Version : Is my ex-boyfriend haunting me?


iwouldeatyoualive
Jul 3, 2010, 06:39 PM
Hello, this is my story
I don't know exactly what I was getting myself into when I said yes to him that night he called on a restricted number all the time, not once did he forget I got fed up with it but he didn't care. He wanted to hide his real identity about almost everything, the only thing I knew about him was his so called name, his voice, the way he described himself though my best friend personally knew him and some of his personality I know I sound stupid for becoming his girlfriend when I barely knew anything about him but I did he told me everything a girl would want to hear he was my, I guess "edward" but just not so calm and serious at most, and no face to face contact he told me he was a "vampire". He told me he snuck into my room at night and watched me sleep he would sit on my tree and watch me everyday (he was my biggest stalker ever) he said the most romantic things to me and always made me feel special I fell so hard for him I couldn't control it and I don't know why. I once wrote him a long letter about how I feel about him it disappeared and I couldn't find it anywhere I saw it by my door about 3 months later. I'm assuming he brought it back he broke up with me twice cause we only were together twice. I for some reason loved him so much, I would hear him singing I don't know where but it sounded like he was outside my window when I checked nothing was there but a street light.
I felt his touch and sometimes still do. I felt his breath by my ear, everyday for about 5 months I felt like he was watching me he said he was. I would hear footsteps on my roof and someone jump off it he said it was him even on a rainy day. Looking back now I was so in love with him he ended it all by saying he never loved me and didn't call me for about a week, then called me back and said I always loved you, I just never felt good enough for you. The crazy times he put me through were: I had many many sleepless nights staring out my window was something I did the most but, one day I started to watch TV I sat in front of it for several hours...
(I know that's really bad) anyway I looked up and out my window and saw a black figured like person rocking back and forth on my tree so I went into my bathroom to hide and came out because my cell phone started to ring it was my friend from Texas there it'd be 5 am here it was 4 am. When I said hello all I heard was heavy breathing each time I spoke, so I hung up. Then my TV started to turn off and turn on by its self and change to black and white. I asked my friend if he called me, he said he didn't, nor did he have any track of it on his phone. I had major depression over what he did to me. He made me feel literally empty and so alone and cold he told me to move on and love someone else before his last call. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, I got through 5 months later. I still think about him, I still remember what he did and I want to I still care about him, but he put me through such misery and I really didn't deserve any of it. Im really nice and caring... really, I'm a vegetarian and wouldn't harm any living thing if it hurt me or just for my amusement or my purposes I'm usaully funny and full of life but he destroyed that for a long time. He as well told me he got a tattoo of my name with really fancy letters across his chest my friend saw it she said it was beautiful other than that I miss him he always made me laugh until all that happened,

I now moved on I have a boyfriend and yes I know what he looks like and everything. (: Anyway, I want to know if I did go insane was that even real because it really didn't seem like it, it was all the pain that told me that it was real its not logical for someone to have such a strength or force to do such things right?

talaniman
Jul 4, 2010, 06:48 AM
Its very normal for sensitive people to be open to suggestions that make them have intense feelings. You allowed his words, and actions to influence you, and give him power he does not have. Not your fault, as he has no idea what he is doing, and may be half a bubble off, or very foolish. Don't give him that power and get beyond this by knowing he was trying to scare you, and did. But don't be scared any more as now you know what he is about and he is just a young foolish guy.

positiveparent
Jul 4, 2010, 10:15 AM
Am I getting this right OP that all you say in your post was done by someone you've never ever seen?

You say your best friend has seen this person so doesn't she know who he is?

Whatever it would seem this person has been playing a very dangerous mind game with you, didn't you call the police, I feel you should have, someone who has done as you say is a very sick person and could be dangerous too.

I feel you need some professional help in order to put this behind you, why didn't your friend who so say saw him and the tattoo he had of your name put on his chest tell him to stop with the head games.

It seems he also had access into your home, really you do need to get some professional help for this, I know you say you've moved on but this is going to stay with you for a long time if you don't get it dealt with.

The person behind this needs locking up in my opinion, how cruel and callous a person to do this to you he is.

Please seek some help, to get over this.

Also are you sure your friends or those you mention in your post weren't in with it all, because it seems odd they saw him or say they know him but didn't identify who he was to you, meaning they went along with it, somehow. Please I implore you get some help to get over this it could end up ruining your life if you don't, it also means this person is still out there and can and possibly is still terrorising another person one who may not be as strong as you...

Also how do you know it won't all start up again, please seek professional help and perhaps even legal advice, also ask your friends to tell you who this person is.

Devorameira
Jul 4, 2010, 11:17 AM
I have to agree with Tal - just count your lucky stars that you got away from that weirdo.

He can't haunt you unless you allow him to. Take control of the situation and don't allow him to ever exert any control over you (mind or otherwise) again.

Concentrate on your new relationship now, and forget all about him.

JudyKayTee
Jul 4, 2010, 01:43 PM
You didn't ask for legal advice but here it is - if he is stalking you, threatening you, harassing you you MUST report his behavior to the Police. I don't care if he's a vampire, thinks he's a vampire, is somehow "off" - his behavior in and of itself is at best odd, very possibly threatening, and you owe it to the next woman he meets to keep her safe.

I find your user name to be somewhat offputting - how much of this "vampire" thing did/do you play into?

(And I have to wonder what the vampire books/TV shows/movies are doing to the teens of the World.)

On the other hand, if YOU are obsessing over this and don't believe he's a danger, perhaps you should speak to someone, a professional, about this issue.

A stalker is NOTHING to be taken lightly.

positiveparent
Jul 4, 2010, 02:03 PM
To the OP Ive noticed one or two inconsistencies in your post,

You say you were only together twice but also say you only know him by a name, which would indicate you hadn't met in person.

Also if your best friend knows who he is why haven't you asked her to disclose his identity,

Also you say when you had locked yourself in the bathroom, your cell phone rang, and it was your friend, then you say there was no one speaking just heavy breathing.

Could you please elaborate, or clarify which is correct or not.

iwouldeatyoualive
Jul 4, 2010, 09:40 PM
I couldn't breathe right I had mostly no control I'm trying to figure out the reasons I am having this weird reaction well the first time this happened I was talking to my boyfriend and got major butterflies I thought that was normal but then it started to get overwhelming and I couldn't breathe all to well I had a headache and I was very weak my boyfriend told me to put a cold towel over my forehead and lie down it started to work and he was very helpful but I just started to have the same feeling again today it was right after someone told me some things that were extremely rude and mean my happiness turned into worry and paranoia I have come up with a lot more reasons, one is family problems with my dad another is about what's happening around me ( life, actions,anything really) I just don't know what to do when this happens but other than that when I don't feel this I'm okay, calm and happy I don't know what to do or think about what happened help? Thank you :)

KISS
Jul 4, 2010, 11:46 PM
My post must have gotten lost when the system hiccuped.

Anxiety disorder is a class of disorders: Anxiety disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anxiety_disorder)

Panic disorder is a specific anxiety disorder. Se in above reference.

Are you hyperventilating?

positiveparent
Jul 5, 2010, 07:26 AM
Hi again to OP, I have read your reply here and I still feel you need to get help and advice from professionals about this, obviously this has damaged you a lot more than you realise, and I still feel this person is in need of help too, but this is about you.

Try to get help of some kind, you don't know if this person is likely to start all of this up again, and you'll spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder.

You really do need to get some professional advice and help, for all you know this person may come back into your life at anytime and harm you seriously physically harm you, this person is dangerous, and I cannot stress to you enough that for your own peace of mind, and overall well being you must get professional help and advice.

I recommend you don't put this off any longer, the longer you leave it the harder it will be.

It seems quite obvious you've suffered at the hands of this person, he could be doing the same to any number of girls/young women even now, just because he's left you alone for some time doesn't mean he won't start doing the same to you again in the future.

Please go to your doctor and talk to him or her about it, or even go to the police, these people will be able to help you and give you support or maybe even protection.

If you try to ignore it, its not going to go away, you need help to work through the psychological damage this has caused.

Even if you don't want to report it to the police, you really should go and see your doctor, or even the local priest at least.

No ones going to think you're crazy for getting help, you need help please go get some don't allow this episode to effect the rest of your life or your peace of mind.

As a precaution you could get your phone number changed too.

By seeking professional help you could also be helping to stop this person doing the same to others, and one of them might end up seriously wounded or even killed by this man, he's got to be stopped and if you seek help it will help ensure he is stopped, and the sooner the better.

Have you told your b/f about this, If not it might be helpful if you tell him, and together you and he can decide what to do and who to get help from.

positiveparent
Jul 5, 2010, 07:49 AM
No matter if this is real or imagined this girl needs some help.

For now I am addressing the OPs question as being something she really experienced, and as such she really must get help.

OP a question how did this man get your phone number?

If the OP has made all of this up then she still needs to get professional help.

asking
Jul 5, 2010, 08:30 AM
Iwouldeat you alive,
Based on your two posts, I think you should talk to some kind of professional psychologist or psychiatrist. It seems as if you have really been through the wringer and are continuing to have problems. What you are describing sounds like a panic attack. It might help you to read about them here (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/panic-attacks/DS00338).


Unclear if this is a troll or if someone is trolling the OP. If the latter, I would say she should talk to a psychologist to deal with her depression and panic attacks.

Since she was so cooperative with this stalking, it's not clear to me if the police would help. Also, my understanding is that he has already stopped stalking.

positiveparent
Jul 5, 2010, 08:47 AM
I hope it is a hoax, either way this girl does need help.

talaniman
Jul 5, 2010, 09:03 AM
Sorry for the confusion, but her late post last night, along with her profile has brought new facts to consider. Thats why her posts were merged and maybe changed what the advice will be.

Fact is at the end of her first post, she stated that she had moved on, and had a new boyfriend now, but was dealing with old feelings at the time, still lingering from her previous relationship. Her merged post sheds a lot of light into her having numerous issues she is dealing with, not just the one situation. Very young, and impressionable maybe, sensitive for sure, maybe too sensitive, and without proper guidance to cope with her many issues she faces. I hope the OP comes back to this thread to add the details needed to see what her real issues are so we don't have to guess. But we all need to be cautious of multiple posting in different areas about the same subject, by this poster.