So my ex and I had been going out for about 7 months, and we seemed to be soul mates. Many times we both talked about marriage and both agreed that we would be together forever. However, it seems like I was the only one telling the truth. Last week, I could tell something was wrong. I asked her what she was thinking and she told me she wanted to break up. I was crushed. Not only was this girl the love of my life, she was the one that took my virginity,so it was like a one two punch. She said that she had lost her feelings for me and that she didn't know if she wanted to be tied down for the rest of her life.

The tied down part I could understand, as freshmen in college we still had a long time to live, so that part wasn't very hard to accept. The difficult part was her saying that shelost her feelings for me. I couldn't understand that. I truly loved her with all of my heart and I felt as if I got all that love back from her. While we may have moved fast, halfway through the eralationship we realized it and decided to slow it down again. I thought everything would be fine, until she drops this bomb on me.

I explained that throughout these next four years we will barely see each other because we go to different schools. And she understood that. But she just used the line" things change" when I asked her why she lost her feelings for me. I could understand if this happened in a longer relationship, but 7 months is nothing, and we both loved each other so much.

The kicker is that she says she still wants me in her future. Now I know that I should not think about that at all because if she truly did then she would work it out. But I do believe her. I know that it is not for another guy, because she is not like that, or at least I think she's not like that. She says that she still wants to be friends with me but I don't know if I can do that either.

I came up with a compromise. Trying to save the relationship I told her to take some time and think about what got you to love me in the first place, and tell me what went wrong. We both agreed that if she could find that out and bring back those feelings there would be a chance for us to work out.

Was this the right thing to do? Or did I just set myself up for more heartbreak? I don't know what to do. Please help

I explained that throughout these next four years we will barely see each other because we go to different schools. And she understood that.
I am sure she did understand. But she was unwilling to get into such a relationship, even though you were. I suspect she thought you were great but she just has other plans for the next 4 years and they don't match yours.


but she just used the line" things change" when I asked her why she lost her feelings for me. I could understand if this happened in a longer relationship, but 7 months is nothing, and we both loved each other so much.
Doesn't matter if it was 7 months, or 700. Feelings change all the time depending on what you are doing in life. Or what you want to do WITH your life. Her feelings changed because she has a different long term view than you have, and that's what you have to understand and bow out gracefully if she doesn't change her mind.

If she doesn't, then it should come as no shock that she is unwilling to invest more into this relationship, and not enjoy other options, and opportunities to come. You have to let her go and do her thing, and you do yours, without her.

I agree with the above post as well.

Feelings change all the time. Especially being as young as you guys are. Starting college, being away from everything you've known for the past 12 years. Feelings are like a hurricane right now. All you can really do is express your feelings, throw everything out on the table and let life take it's course.

I was with my ex for 5 years and my feelings changed. What I thought I wanted for them 5 years suddenly wasn't for me anymore.

Take the time you gave her to think for yourself as well.

Rick