The story goes like this... I'm a 39 year old woman who's separated from her husband. I'd wanted to leave him for a long time, but never had the financial means. A coworker's girlfriend had just walked out on him and he was looking for a room mate. The rent was very reasonable. So I took him up on it. I moved in on May 3rd 2010 and right away he started making his moves. The feeling was mutual. I was(and still am)very attracted to him. Then he started acting distant. It was usually after he had contact with his ex. Be it by phone or whatnot. We sat down and discussed his reasons for being distant and that was when I told him that I had developed feelings for him. He said he needed to clear his head and for a little while we slept in the same bed and we would hold each other but we didn't have sex. Then we started having sex again. Just rescently he sent me a text telling me that he had been invited to a wedding and that he was taking his ex as a date. Again we sat down and talked and I asked him what her reasons were for leaving. He told me he didn't know. He thought she wanted more. Then I asked what had changed in his life and in hers that would make things work the second time around? His reply.. Nothing. Nothing had changed. So I said the same issues are going to be there. But he didn't listen to me.
What I won't to know is.. Is it a lost cause? Am I fighting an uphill battle? What are my chances to try to make him see that I'm the better choice? Should I just move on and just be there for him when she hurts him again... because she will.. I know she will. I've been predicting things that were going to happen with him and to him for a little while and eveything has come true.
Please don't sugar coat anything. I would rather have someone be brutally honest with me than dishonest to protect my feelings.
Another thing... she's jealous. I'm afraid that my being his room mate and a somewhat attractive one, is going to land me in the streets. He said he'd never leave me hanging, but I don't know.The things we do for love as the song goes. I don't want him to come to me and tell me that she's jealous and it's causing problems in his relationship,and that I'm going to have to go. Thanks in advance:confused :confused:

Much too early I believe since you both have recently left a relationship, rebound comes to mind.

He is apparently still in love with his girlfriend and emotionally entrenched. I may be wrong but it seems apparent that available sex is the motivator in this situation.

You are in a losing battle In my opinion, his emotional connection is still chiming with his girlfriend and she seems to be calling the shots, even though you may be correct it could only be jealousy.

I would start planning on finding another place to stay before the you know what hits the fan. And if I am wrong and this is something to fight for well you will be in a position of strength to decide what to do then.

Good luck, let me know.

Stringer

I understand how hard it was to resist, but you have put yourself into a precarious position, falling for the landlord. A landlord with some baggage he is dealing with. Rebound comes to my mind for you both also. How convenient. Plan A looked good on paper, but you got involved, and are seeing the complications that have popped up, so you better have a plan B, just in case plan A falls apart.

Leave it to an ex to want to ruin a good thing.

You were his temporarily replacement. It is oblivious he isn't over his ex and you know this by his spoken words and actions.

You asked "is this a lost cause?" Do you really need an answer to that?

You need to stop doing the things the two of you do together and see things as they are and it will be in your best interest to make our living arrangements. You don't want any drama with this girl because believe me she may know or find out something was up between the two you. I wouldn't wanted be catch in this crossfire.

This guy can't never be nothing more to you then what he is now. Never even try to attempt to be with someone while they aren't over someone.

I understand how hard it was to resist, but you have put yourself into a precarious position, falling for the landlord. A landlord with some baggage he is dealing with. Rebound comes to my mind for you both also. How convenient. Plan A looked good on paper, but you got involved, and are seeing the complications that have popped up, so you better have a plan B, just in case plan A falls apart.

Leave it to an ex to want to ruin a good thing.

Plan 'B'... how many times is it used Tal :)