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View Full Version : Still can't determine my sexuality


hosamsr
Jun 24, 2010, 03:35 AM
Hey I'm 23 years old
I was attracted to boys till the age 22 then I had a crush on a girl then I liked girls for one year
But now I feel I'm not attracted to them anymore
And I lost my attraction to boys
I don't know what to do

martinizing2
Jun 24, 2010, 05:54 AM
Maybe you are attracted to individuals with gender not a factor. Although a 20 year run of all them being male is doubtful.
A year of strictly finding females attractive may not be so farfetched.
You may not have lost your attractions, you just haven't found the people with the attributes you are attracted to.
Have you talked to any professionals yet? That may help.
On the bright side , bisexuals have twice the chances of finding dates that straight people do.(attempted humor)
You are young and still finding yourself , it will become clearer as you gain experience.

Synnen
Jun 24, 2010, 05:54 AM
You should go see your doctor and let him/her know that your sex drive and attraction to others has diminished, and then you should see a counselor to help determine your sexuality.

Cat1864
Jun 24, 2010, 06:10 AM
How are you feeling about friends, family, and the rest of your life? Anything causing major stress like school or work? How did your last relationship end?

Many times, libido issues are a just a symptom of other things being off in your life.

hosamsr
Jun 24, 2010, 06:45 AM
Well I can say.. there not fine
My last relationship ended in a horrible way

Cat1864
Jun 24, 2010, 08:27 AM
hosamsr : well I can say.. there not fine my last relationship ended in a horrible way

Depression and stress can have a huge impact on how you feel about your sexuality. Bad relationships (or those that end badly) can cause a person to shut down emotionally and start questioning every aspect of his/her self.

Emotionally and, on a subconscious level, mentally you may be trying to protect yourself from getting hurt again. It is human nature to guard against pain. Flinching from a hot stove is a physical manifestation of that behavior. Shying away from thoughts of relationships and attractions is a manifestation of the mental/emotional side of the behavior.

Seeing your doctor to make certain there aren't any health issues and a counselor/therapist to help you work through the psychological/mental/emotional stress would probably be a good idea. Once you are back to a more normal way of thinking about life and relationships figuring out who you are attracted to will be easier. Don't be surprised it if gender doesn't matter.

Heal and get rid of the baggage from the past and give yourself permission to move forward.