Hey I was hoping someone could help me out with this question I have. Here is my story.

I met this girl by random chance. The first time we met up we never knew each other we just happen to share some of the same friends and we ran into each other. We hit it off pretty good and we started hanging out a little bit. The more we hung the more I learned about her, she was in a relationship for 9 months before she met me. She really loved this guy; she actually thought he was the one. Well anyway he was a jerk to her for the last 2 months of there relationship until he finally broke it off and broke her heart. She still loved him when he was a jerk to her and she doesn't know why, and I'm pretty sure she
still loves him now. They have been broken up for 6 months now and I have been seeing her for 3 and a half months now. As of right now were not dating, she says she likes me a lot but she doesn't want to date me until she is completely over her ex. I'm all right with that, it doesn't bother me. I’ve been there for her, I’ve spent countless nights listening to her talk about her previous relationship, and I’ve even had to hold her when she cried about it. I’ve never pressured her into rushing into a relationship; she is putting pressure on herself because she feels bad that I have to go through all of this. I’ve told her countless times that I don’t care about the late nights and the times I’ve had to hold you until she stopped crying and felt better, alls I care about is that she gets better and gets over her ex boyfriend and I tell her not to rush it. So I was just hoping if someone could give me some advice and I just want to know if she will ever get over her ex, and if we will ever start dating.

Its been my observation that people who are not over their ex's are not really available for a new relationship. And that getting over ex's can take quite a bit of time. People, like your girl, may jump into the pool, so to speak, quickly and thereby prove to themselves it really was a too soon, which is a good thing to recognise and correct. When someone gets involved too soon, its frequently a rebound relationship and those almost never work out -- long list of reasons too.

Hard to tell by your description and experience if her interest in you was genuine or out of that rebound need. That you two spoke at length about her previous relationship is a good thing if you want to be defined as friends but I have to tell you I think it's the kind of thing that really works against you if you wanted to be the next boyfriend. Most people know better than to talk all about their ex's with future candidates -- its all wrong for a lot of reasons.

Time will tell on this arrangement for you but I would not advise that you do anything that amounts to waiting for her. If time proves that she doesn't return or that you are just friends if she does, then know this--- that in the future when a girl is talking a lot about her ex, take it as a red flag and pass on her. She just isn't ready. I hope that helps to understand a little better.

I am trying to get over my ex, and I am dating another person... she isn't over him, and she won't be any time soon. I am sorry if this isn't comforting. I feel the same way about my bfriend, who's been there for me. You need to ask her... it seems like she won't get over him until her head is clear of evth, that is she will be single.. . you need to open this issue with her, so this doesn't turn into a torture for both of you.