I have gotten married to a guy with two kids, but the thing is that she moved away to Texas and will not let him see or talk to them. She said he could sign over his rights,(but that was over 2 years ago when he last talked to her) but the odd thing is that he owes 30,000 in child support ( note that he is trying to be responsible and pay) and no one is putting him on jail, and she doesn't even care if he pays (apparently).Last time, he went to court, she didn't even show up.

My first question is, Is the reason that the child support arrears is so great is because she isn't asking for it, and its just the state?

It can only be that high because he hasn't paid it. Just because she hasn't been chasing him for it doesn't mean his children have stopped eating or wearing shoes.

A responsible father supports his children.

What he needs to do is go to court and get a custody agreement. Then allow the courts to enforce it. He must have a child support order against him or there would be no arrears. Where was the support order from ?