I don't know if I made a wrong decision or not but I have been married 24 years and just filled for divorce after many years of B.S. from I'm always wrong can't do anything and I'm a idiot. With many multiple health problems and 3 transplants , we have (had) 2 great kids. I got my 3 rd transplant in 5-09 with my 2 kids by my side sitting with me during treatments putting me to bed my kids are young men now. In June my baby graduated from high school I had my transplant was startting to get back into work my oldest starting his 3 rd year of college my baby starting college.We lost our 18 year old baby 9-4-09 the pain is so unbearable. It was a tragic accident their was troublw in the marriage 2-3 years before and I thought we could heal, but after the passing of our son it just got so much worse never once has he put his arms around me and mourn the lost together of our son I am all alone living in this house with just the three of us now. My theripist tells me it is for the best his drinking is bad a 1/2 gallon every 4 days , I don
T drink or do any drugs so I obvious think it's bad but is it really ? Or am I just being too sensitive from not having my son who was always there telling me I don't deserve that from him.My baby and I were very close and he was my affectionate child who would always step up put his arms around me and just talk about anything with me we were extremely close. I have died myself but am trying to be strong for my oldest child who has a very hard time with showing his feeling and when he does it is in a negative way that I can not handle anymore the way I use too.I'm afraid if I file for divorce now my oldest will not finish school and it will rip him apart with losing his only brother who he was extremely very close with very close he keeps everything in and will not share anything with me or even if I bring up the fact to talk to a therapist,write his feeling down nothing he just keeps it in. He is all I have here on earth and I love him so very much I can't bear to hurt him any more than he is already hurting even though he says he is fine. I'm his mother I know. Please help I have always been a stay at home mon because of my health problems and now trying to get back to work, but I know in about 2-3 more years I will need another transplant. A mothers cry for the only son she has left.

I am very sorry for the loss of your son... I have three children myself 22, 21 and 19... I cannot imagine what you are going through. I am sure if you filed for divorce, your son will understand, especially if he too has seen how your husband treats you. You need to stand up for yourself and your son. You don't want him to think that this is houw you treat your wife, you want him to be better than that, right? Take a Stand! Wishing the Best of Everything to You!!

Take your son at his word, and do what you have to in your own life.

I wish you the best through this difficult time.