View Full Version : 16 getting a 14 year old pregnant
milldes67
Jun 6, 2010, 02:51 AM
I am 14 my boyfriend is 16 we love each other and have been together since 2010 nw and I may be pregnant at the moment, but might not be :).. we've been talking about a baby since the first time I might have been and its made us really want one, but I don't want it too effect him or get him in any trouble :l I live in england/manchester do you no what would happen to him?
redhed35
Jun 6, 2010, 03:20 AM
In the UK the age of consent is 16,if he has sex with you at 14, a court would have no choice but to uphold the law and charge him with having sex with a minor.
Its very serious.
At 14 you should be enjoying your friends and your youth not having a baby,not only do babies cost a LOT of money,but they need constant care,you may feel you are up to the challenage,however,should you become pregnant you would be under a social worker.
At 14 your body is not yet ready to carry a baby,pregnancy can have serious health complications on your very young body.
How about your parents? How would they feel?
To end,you have a computer,why not Google childbirth,and find out exactly what happens when you go into labour.
milldes67
Jun 6, 2010, 03:43 AM
I no what appens my sister gt pregnant at 15, we've been saving up money fom Saturday jobs and other stuff for a while and we have 49 pound :l I can't help thinking about it :(
milldes67
Jun 6, 2010, 03:45 AM
What trouble would he get in x
redhed35
Jun 6, 2010, 03:53 AM
He would get into a lot of trouble,I'm not saying that to scare you,I'm saying it because its true.
49 pound is not enough by a long stretch.
Try to understand that your hormones are racing around your body,that's why your feeling like you do,a baby won't improve your life, and it won't make your boyfriend love you more,I'm sure you saw from your sister how much time a baby takes up.
Is there anyone you could talk to about this? Your mother? A teacher? A aunt? Someone in real time who you trust and you consider would give you good advice.
milldes67
Jun 6, 2010, 04:05 AM
Yes my big sissy :) but she's not too sure about the laws either I don't need sumone to tell me I can't do it or anything I need sumone to tel me what exact law there is and what would happen to him :) xxxx
redhed35
Jun 6, 2010, 04:15 AM
He is 16 if he has sex with you it is statutory rape.
That's all I know that I can be sure of posting,you will have to wait for someone who knows the law to post any more information on that specific question.
milldes67
Jun 6, 2010, 04:19 AM
Kk thanks anywayy xx
He will be labeled a sex offender for the rest of his life. Is that what you want?
milldes67
Jun 6, 2010, 05:58 AM
Obviosly not,
I know you THINK you want a baby. But, honey, I am a nurse, I deliver babies for a living. I can tell you some horror stories about how sick you and/or the baby can get by being pregnant at your age.
49 pounds ($70) is not even enough to provide formula, clothes and diapers for even a week. What if the baby is sick and has to be in hospital for several months after it is born? What if it is born early because you are so young and it ends up with mental or physical disabilities? Can you care for a mentally retarded baby or a baby with cerebral palsy who has to live in a wheelchair for the rest of its life?
ScottGem
Jun 6, 2010, 06:33 AM
yes my big sissy :) but shes not too sure about the laws either i dont need sumone to tell me i can't do it or anything i jus need sumone to tel me wat exact law there is n wat would hapen to him :) xxxx
If you wanted to ask a legal question only you should have posted this in the Family Law forum. If found guilty of statutory rape, the maximum sentence is life, but average sentences for rape are between five and seven years. According to a BBC article.
But the FACT is you DO need someone to tell you what a really bad idea this is. You don't dictate how people answer questions here. I'm really surprised that, with the example of your sister, changing her life because of having a baby you are still contemplating this.
You have no clue what is involved in caring for a baby. You are being totally selfish, not thinking what affect this will have on the child. You are immature and need a lot of growing up before you can care for someone else.
But the FACT is you DO need someone to tell you what a really bad idea this is.
You have no clue what is involved in caring for a baby. You are being totally selfish, not thinking what affect this will have on the child. You are immature and need a lot of growing up before you can care for someone else.
Since this has been brought up, I will tell you what a bad idea it is.
Last night at work I held the hand of a 17 year old girl while she delivered a dead baby. Yes a DEAD baby. She had to go through all of the labor and delivery just as a healthy woman would, but her baby was DEAD, not alive. Why? Partially because she was still growing and her body fed her and not the baby.
Two weeks ago I delivered a baby to a 16 year old. This baby had Down's Syndrome. Mentally retarded for life. Why? Because she was too young to have a baby and her body fed her and not the baby.
14 year olds have history of seizures during pregnancy because their blood pressure gets too high. Why? Because they are too young to have babies and their body tries to save them and feed them, not the baby.
I really hope I don't need to explain further, but if you don't understand yet I can.
You are TOO YOUNG to have a baby. When you are 28, your child will be 14. Do you want to be a GRANDMOTHER at 28? He! I wasn't ready to be a grandmother at 44.
DoulaLC
Jun 6, 2010, 06:49 AM
i no what appens my sister gt pregnant at 15, weve been saving up money fom saturday jobs and other stuff for a while n we have 49 pound :l i can't help thinking about it :(
Obviously it is against the law, so that should be enough to put the thought on hold. And, as was also stated, at 14 while you CAN get pregnant, it doesn't mean your body is prepared enough to safely be pregnant and give birth. Yes, it can happen, but why take the chance of possible problems when you can just wait awhile longer.
Other questions would be how will you support yourselves once baby is born? Saturday jobs won't be enough. How will you provide all of the baby equipment needed... food, nappies, etc. How did/is your sister supporting her child when she had a baby at 15? Did your parents help... if so, is that really fair to them, or your boyfriend's parents, to have to pay for taking care of your child when they could be saving that money for their retirement or things they may need/want? Was government assistance involved? Is that fair to your neighbours, teachers, community, etc. to expect them to help pay for your child?
Think about how much your parents and your boyfriend's parents work to provide what they need to... to pay the bills... to do the things they would like to. Would you be able to earn as much as is needed? Do they struggle at all with bills even with the jobs they have? Can they do all the things they would like to or do they have to watch their money?
Babies are wonderful, and I fully understand your desire to have a baby to love and take care of, but can you honestly provide all that you would like to be able to for a baby at this stage in your life? What if you and your boyfriend aren't together in two years time? No one thinks it will happen to them, "we love each other", "we will always be together", but life doesn't always work how you think or plan for it to. You need to be prepared for how you would take care of yourself and a baby if you were on your own.
Enjoy your sister's child, enjoy other people's babies for now, but focus on how you will earn an education to be able to get the type of jobs you would like to so that you can be in a position to give a child all that you would like to be able to and still do things you would like to do as well.
If you and your boyfriend truly love each other, and are committed to being together, you will still be together in several years time and both of you will likely be in better positions to consider a family... both physically, and financially.
Fr_Chuck
Jun 6, 2010, 08:54 AM
Yes, you alone at home with your parents, the boyfriend in prison for at least 5 years and maybe more, I have a family friend whose son is sentenced to 15 years for the same thing.
So the baby will be in grade school before the father is coming out, and he will be a older and changed man. Most likely you will have found a new man in your life, and the baby will not even know their father.
Yes, a great life plan