Can somebody please help,its been 3 years since my boyfriend cheated on me with a woman who had just recently became my hair dresser, although my boyfriend had known her for quite a few years before.on the run up to him admitting all to me,we were having a lot of arguments,he had started going out with his friend, doing nothing with me or the kids.I knew there was something wrong but I trusted this man with my life and more, so it never crossed my mind at all that he was doing that,I suppose if it had crossed my mind then I would have noticed all the signs,I just kept thinking it was something I'd done.then on the 30-12-07 he text me saying he had something to tell me, so I rang him straight away,he didn't like that you see he was trying to take cowards way out,well I never gave him that chance.so anyway he said it,just like that,"ive been seeing some else" I lost 2 days of memory from that moment.01-01-08 checked text messages, and on the same day he told me,he'd also txtd me that evening,saying it was over and how he wanted me back.well what a lie that was,turned out the following week she was moving in with him,again I ended all contact,but he just would not let me move on.this ended with him coming back to me January 2009. The whole time this was happenning the woman would constantly send me txt's telling me what they were doing, even sexually,and she was very explicit too.I felt my head was going to explode, end up on anti-depressants and sleeping tablets.since we got back together, he has done everything to make our relationship work.but its me,I cause arguments,make him leave,then beg him to come back,I know I'm doing it but can't stop myself.I still cry a lot,please someone help me I really am desperate to move on...

It seems like you need affirmation. In my experience, once a cheater is always a cheater.

It may be hard now, but just pack up your stuff with the kids and leave. You'll thank yourself later. Get their numbers blocked on your cell phone, and try to find happiness in your kids.

Good luck, and God bless.

You need to figure out what you want to do, and then do it.

If you think that the relationship will be better every time you bring him home, it won't be- as you've found out.

Couples have to deal with relationship problems, and learn how to accept them and move on, or decide whether to just move out and move on.

If you decide that you want to make this work, you will need the help of a couples counsellor in my opinion. Both of you have to be willing to come clean about all of it, and work through all the pain and emotion in oder to settle it, and have it become the past.

As long as you are living your history over and over with this man, nothing will change. You are in a never ending loop of infidelity, broken promises, deceipt, and no obvious remorse, or willingness to change.

If he refuses the hard work of counselling, then I think you have your answer pretty clearly as to what the future holds, which is more of the same.

Is he really worth all the trouble?

Are you willing to reinvest your heart, and soul, in someone so unpredictable and disrespectful?

He cheated and lied. That's hard to get over.

Resentment and jealousy will eat at you like a disease.

If he is worth the effort and commitment, then get into couples counseling.

You mentioned children. Is he the father?

I highly and strongly recommend that you stay away from him and stop all contact what so ever with him, so you can be guided through the healing process, to recover your mental, physical, and emotional balance and are happy with yourself.

You are still hurt very much and grieving still, and are not a fit party for any relationship, especially not with the one who has helped in all this utter chaos.