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taghreed
May 25, 2010, 05:18 AM
Hi every one.. just wanted to ask your opinion what shuld I do with my husband.. we had a fight few days ago.. it was about ignoring me and never ask for sex not if I started first! We want to have children but he has never been Collaborator with me.. he keeps telling me that we can't speak about sex it's indecent! Now we don't epeek to each other.. he sleeps in other room and never even look to my face! I called him once and he didn't answer.. I feel Humiliation of the dignity I don't know what to do to get my pride back.. I'm the one who is angry and he lives now in this feeling as well as I go to him as usual to make every thing OK. He will never start to talk with me. What do you think I shuld do.. should I keep ignoring him?

Devorameira
May 25, 2010, 02:10 PM
Have you ever had sex or is his attitude something new? Is he affectionate otherwise?

I realize different countries have different attitudes about marriage and sex, but in my opinion it is not perverted for married people to have and/or discuss sex. It's normal.

The point is: a marriage is a partnership. It is not acceptable for him to simply brush off your desire for sex and shame you for wanting it. You should not allow him to do so.

Since a sexless marriage is the exception, not the rule, it seems to me that he should have mentioned to you at some point that he was averse to sex (or at least, sex with you) and why.

It's not fair for him to treat you like this - I'm sure it makes you feel unattractive and undesirable. Just remember there is nothing wrong with you - he has the problem.

If he won't communicate with you about the problems, you won't be able to work anything out. If you can't work things out, your marriage is in jeopardy!

talaniman
May 26, 2010, 07:00 AM
How long have you known this fellow, and how old are you? Was this an arranged marriage? Sounds like it. Its obvious you have no communications, so why did you marry him?

taghreed
May 29, 2010, 06:50 AM
I wiil tell you why I married him, I'm 29 now I married him one year and have ago. I'm egyptian lady and yes it was arranged marriage.. cause here in egypt it's difficult for girls to get married with a long term relashionship. So we were angaged for 6 months and I found him a nice person.. so any way we had a talke and he told me that he don't want to leave me ( he means he love me!) but he is working hard all the day and don't want any problem so first he suggest to live with my family ( in another town) and he will come for me from time to time! Just to let me try living with out him if it will make me happy but I told him I don't want to be blamed for leaving my husband and live in a nother town.. and then in some how we had a strong sex.. he loves me and when he is good to me I feel the same but we have different thoughts.. any way I'll try to make it work this time and we will see...

Fr_Chuck
May 29, 2010, 06:59 AM
Where do you live, what culture is this, it does not sound like something from the US

Also who exactly wants to have children ? And why, why would anyone want to bring children into a home with a family like this

talaniman
May 29, 2010, 07:30 AM
You are married, and better talk more, than you have sex, I think.

jmjoseph
May 29, 2010, 07:42 AM
It's really difficult for someone who is NOT from your culture to understand what it is that you are going through, and what is considered "normal" for a married couple.

Is there anyone you can talk to, possibly a female, who is familiar with this culture? How about friends or family?