As a father going oversea for the military can my family have my visitaion rights to see my daughter when I'm gone

No. You need to go back to Court, explain the situation and ask that your family have visitation rights - yours do not transfer.

This is a legal question and I have asked that it be moved.

A agree with Judy. Would their other parent simply agree to this? That would be easiest. Might still be good to have papers drawn up making it official, but perhaps the military could provide legal assistance to get that done for you.

A agree with Judy. Would their other parent simply agree to this? That would be easiest. Might still be good to have papers drawn up making it official, but perhaps the military could provide legal assistance to get that done for you.


Only a Court Order can change or modify a Court Order. I appreciate you're trying to make it quick and easy for the OP BUT once he goes overseas the mother of the children can simply walk away from such an agreement. Maybe she will, maybe she won't - but why take the chance?

If OP wants to guarantee his family will have visitation he needs to go back to Court and get very specific visitation ordered.

Yes, understood. I didn't delineate the entire legal process but am in agreement with you that an order should ideally be issued for the reasons you stated here.

I figured that if they were in agreement, he could have their agreement written up by an attorney, who would in turn bring the agreement to the original judge, of course for the purpose of requesting a new order modifying the original order.

I asked if the mother would be in agreement only because it's a lot easier if she is. I know service members are provided some free legal services in preparation for deployment so thought he might want to ask about that.

That's not how it works in NY - child support/visitation/custody matters require a Court Hearing. I've never seen an Order modified by presenting a written Agreement to a Judge who then modified an existing Order - or, in this case, issued a new Order.

What State are you in?

I'm confused (in light of your explanation) by your original comment that it might be easier if the other parent "simply agrees."

OP needs a Court Order.

Please pay more attention to posting guidelines. There is a Read First sticky in the Children forum (where this was moved from) that directs questions of a legal nature to this forum.

The first thing you need to do is read the visitation order. Some orders may be written to allow you to designate a third party to use your visitation. If the order doesn't allow for designation then you need to go back to court to modify the visitation order.

I'm in Illinois (I work in three counties in the Chicago area) and have also worked with orders to modify existing family court orders in Ramsey and Hennepin Counties in Minnesota. The process you described is the standard when there are major issues at stake and/or there is any disagreement between the parties. However, when it's a mutual request for the modification, the attorney can often arrange for the judge to fit them in within a day or two and get the order issued. It's technically considered a hearing but as there are no issues up for debate, it just takes a few moments and is a less formal version of the process.

I suppose some states and some counties are more formal than others.

I'm in Illinois (I work in three counties in the Chicago area) and have also worked with orders to modify existing family court orders in Ramsey and Hennepin Counties in Minnesota. The process you described is the standard when there are major issues at stake and/or there is any disagreement between the parties. However, when it's a mutual request for the modification, the attorney can often arrange for the judge to fit them in within a day or two and get the order issued. It's technically considered a hearing but as there are no issues up for debate, it just takes a few moments and is a less formal version of the process.

I suppose some states and some counties are more formal than others.

Without the parties appearing, simply on written agreement?

Yes, Judy. I've seen this done many times for clients. Also in my own agreement, we've modified it many times - changed the summer schedule, transportation arrangements, who pays for what - a lot of issues - through this less formal process. Both parties sign off on the modified agreement and one attorney can present it to the court, where order is issued reflecting the change. If we don't both agree, we have to have a formal hearing - months to schedule and so on. It's very common as well for parties not to be present in court and for attorneys to take care of the details on their behalf with the court.

Yes, Judy. I've seen this done many times for clients. Also in my own agreement, we've modified it many times - changed the summer schedule, transportation arrangements, who pays for what - a lot of issues - through this less formal process. Both parties sign off on the modified agreement and one attorney can present it to the court, where order is issued reflecting the change. If we don't both agree, we have to have a formal hearing - months to schedule and so on. It's very common as well for parties not to be present in court and for attorneys to take care of the details on their behalf with the court.


I'm amazed - not in NY. Makes better sense that what happens "here."

Yes - efficient, quick, cost effective and it saves the judges a lot of time. The dockets are so packed, they really need to be able to have the flexibility to be able to say, "yeah, I have this matter this afternoon that won't take all the scheduled time - come at 3". It works really well.