Hi Everyone!

This is my first post and I'm so glad to have found a forum where I can get some help and maybe help others:) It's not easy to ask for help! I'm a guy AND a firefighter:)

I'm a fire captain in a medium sized department. I work with 13 -19 people every 24 hour shift. As you might imagine, personalities abound! Living literally half your life with a group of people can sometimes be a daunting task.

A while back, I stepped in and took over time keeping duties due to a co-worker being suspended for some shoddy workmanship and stealing time. I was approached by management to do this at the suggestion of others - on the opposite shift - recommending me for my honesty and integrity. It was a wildly unpopular move - the guy previously doing timekeeping is a "ringleader" who has some followers (blindly so). I decided to do the job because I didn't want to leave the shift hanging. Others would have liked to see management "squirm". It didn't seem right to me.

I lost a friend due to this move. He sided with the offender and snubbed me for stepping in. "Steve" and I were great friends up until this time, or so I thought, but when it came down to it, he decided to hang with the clique and basically sold himself and our friendship out. This is not new for him... and, I while I tried to save the friendship, it evenutally just fell apart.

I live in Hawaii, and sometimes, people will go to great lengths to fit in and call themselves "local". "Steve" was born in California, but always breezes over that fact and plays to people like he is a fully fledged local person. I've always seen this as a major character flaw, selling himself out and pretending to be someone he really isn't.

Now, he does not talk to me at all unless it deals exclusively with work. I was promoted last year, and he is no the same rank. I also get an extremely hateful vibe from him. So uncharacteristic, but I see it as him grasping for straws and clamouring to stay within his little clique.

It also appears that he is talking behind my back, or even in very proximity to me. I was just in the dorm area speaking with another firefighter and he was in his room. When he came out of his room, he went back in quickly, and a guy right in front of his door cracked up - I think he was badmouthing or gesturing to the other guy about me being in the hallway because the guy laughed for no reason that I could see. In other words, I think he's hateful, saying stuff behind my back (to a younger, brand new firefighter), sometimes doing it near me, and is basically doing all this to maintain his position within the group even though he was never born here in the first place!

Can anyone please give me some ideas on how to handle this?

Thanks!

Maitai

I have never been in your position but I have had smaller problems crop up in about 20 years of supervision.
I mishandled at least two episodes because I wanted to get along with everybody. I would handle it differently if I could do it over.
To start you have to make certain you have total support from your supervisor(s). Then you have to use the disciplinary process after the ground rules have been made very clear (in writing) if they aren't already.
Treat everyone with consistency, if you don't you will fail.
My last supervisor (and the best I had) was a Army Sergeant Major and carried this procedure out to the tee and was always backed up because he followed the rules religiously.
When he was promoted to a senior management job he spoke to all 100(?) employees and told them how he operated. He ended his talk with "Don't mistake my friendliness for weakness". Sometimes he was handcuffed by the rules but he never stopped pursuing goof offs.
You have to decide if you want friends or your job. Your subordinates only have one choice most likely.
You have a tough position. It sounds like you worked with these folks and now have to supervise them. That's the one they warn you about in supervisory schools.
If this has been going on awhile you have to get them together and tell them that a new day is dawning and just give some general reasons. Better discipline.
Give them specific tasks (in writing if you have to) and hold them accountable. Good luck to you.

I wholeheartedly agree. The childish behavior is allowed to continue because of the playground mentality we all carry around... we don't want to be at the center of a confrontation, even when we're in the right. So we live with the crapiness of others, even subordinates, all in the name of "hoping it will work out".

It won't work out. People are either bullies or they aren't, the bullies must be managed.

Further, as described above, you must absolutely and unapologetically place all these issue on the table as issues that are being monitored. Within the confines of the rules, you enforce them.

People may not like you for this, but there is a great sense of peace that comes from a well-managed environment. Peace for everyone.

"We all like to have a good time, we all like to joke. That's all good and well, count me in. But jokes at the expense of others, demoralizing backbiting, cliqueing up against others, none of this will be tolerated. The sole judge of this behavior is myself. As long as I don't see it, hear it, detect it, or find the morale of the station being diminished by your attitudes, we're fine."

Your subordinates will have to be called on the carpet in private at least once, not with you asking them to explain/defend their behavior, but with you dictating what they've done and must change, don't let it be a discussion. Let them know you're on their side, which is why this discussion is occurring in private. Whether it stays private or goes into their permanent record and requires punitive responses... that is up to them and how they take the instruction you've given.

Then, don't fret it. Someone, somewhere, is going to test you on this and you will have to make an example of them.

========

I used to run a Call Center, and one of my BEST operators, and I mean the best, was also a bit of a jokester. He occasionally let that humor onto the phone with clients during problems.

I had to make a ruling to all the operators that no customer should ever be joked down, making light of the problem they called with. The procedures for resolving issues were very clear.

Unfortunately, I had to fire him when he ignored this policy. It was a hard choice, but he did it, others knew he had, we all thought it was funny what he'd said, and potentially harmless... except the customer, who was furious.

After letting him go, I never even had to mention it again to any of our other operators, they all got it after that. And the environment at work didn't suffer at all. There is peace that comes from consistency and accountability.

I think you need to walk a careful path. Deal with Steve privately and directly so he's not embarrassed in front of the guys which could make things worse. Let him know that the job is separate from any friendship - if you're asked by your commander to do something, you'll do it because it's your job. You were asked to oversee the timekeeping, and if the previous guy had an issue, it was not with you. Don't tolerate the insubordination because it can run through a team - make sure he knows that you depend on each other in life threatening circumstances, and you aren't going to permit him to try to create juvenile divisions between the team.

Then get to know the other guys one on one. There's no substitute from getting to know what you are like rather than just hearing what one disgruntled person thinks you are like.

And do a competent job - it's hard to accept ongoing criticism of a guy who has not been seen to be inappropriate, and who does the job and does it well.

Best wishes to you and stay safe!

Thanks so much for all your advice... I'll take heed and press on! Again, thanks so much.

Maitai