I have custody of my 3 daughters and I have my summers off because school is closed. Their dad has recently won 5 weeks of visitation during the summer. He will put them in camp from 7am to 6pm for the first time in their lives. I want to pick the kids up in the morning and spend the day with them, then return them when he gets home. He refuses because he is trying to punish me. The kids are VERY upset to be going to the YMCA for 5 weeks. Don't I have first choice in spending time with my kids over a babysitter, or a camp if their father cannot spend his visitation with them because he is going to work??

No, they are under the father's custody and control for those 5 weeks unless the Court decides otherwise.

If you find this to be unfair you need to go back to Court, present his "parenting" plan and ask that the Order be modified. I very much doubt that the Court will do that.

No you don't. As stated above that is his time to spend with them how he can and wants. He has to work to make money you can't hold that against him. He obviously looked into something for them to do other than sit at the house by themselves. How old are the children? Also as pointed out if you don't like it call your lawyer up and take it back to court though it isn't likely to change.

How is a day camp going to hurt your children?

I WISHED I could go to camp as a child, but my family just could not afford it.

If YOU planned an event for your children, would you want your ex to pick them up from that event and take them until the event was supposed to be done, then return them to you?

If you don't like it, go back to court. But I see nothing wrong with him arranging for something fun and interesting to do while he's at work.

Thanks everyone. I guess I find it difficult to swallow since he BEGGED the court to have them so he could spend time with them. He drops them off at a relatives, or a babysitters at least ONE whole day and night during his 2 weekends a month. The girls are used to being with their friends and enjoying their summer having fun. When they go to camp, he refuses to pay for any day trips for them, and they just sit at the camp. The middle one is too old for camp so she has to babysit the younger kids at camp, and the youngest one is 10 and she goes to KINDERCARE to help out because his wife's good friend owns it and lets her stay there cheap. She is with Kindergartners all day and doesn't have any fun. I would be in favor of camp if there were no other options. I feel that children should be with a parent if they have the opportunity to. Too many kids are dropped off in someone else's care, or shuffled to programs these days. If I am here and ready and willing to spend good quality time with my kids (when he is not available) then I should have that option. Thanks for your comments. : )

While I agree in principle with your previous answers, I see your point as well. Visitation time is for the NCP to spend time with the kids. From the sound of things you live close together. Usually an extended period during a summer is when the parents live farther apart. If you live that close that you can pick them up and drop them off daily, the 5 weeks makes less sense.

Do you have an attorney? If not I would suggest consulting with one who can tell you what your chances of getting the visitation changed given the circumstances.

I don't find this to be an unusual situation - people work, have to work, get a period of visitation, do what it takes. I'm surprised that a child in kindergarten or preschool doesn't have any fun "there," where the program is geared toward children that age.

I don't think the Court is going to change anything but agree with Scott - you can only go and ask, providing PROOF that the father is somewhat negligent when it comes to spending time with the children, dropping them off or leaving them with babysitters.

The Court may very well evaluate all parties and then make a recommendation.

I don't find this to be an unusual situation - people work, have to work, get a period of visitation, do what it takes. I'm surprised that a child in kindergarden or preschool doesn't have any fun "there," where the program is geared toward children that age.

I don't think the Court is going to change anything but agree with Scott - you can only go and ask, providing PROOF that the father is somewhat negligent when it comes to spending time with the children, dropping them off or leaving them with babysitters.

The Court may very well evaluate all parties and then make a recommendation.


Judy--the youngest is 10 years old, per the OP. I'd have a hard time being entertained at age 10 with a bunch of kindergardners, too. And I have a feeling that she's unpaid help--because 10 is too young to be on her own, but old enough to help with younger children.

BUT--I agree with everyone else. Your only chance of changing this is to go back to court.

If the youngst is 10 how old is the oldest? How often do they get to see his side of the family when they are with you? I understand your frustration but I also know there are two sides to every story and family. I have close relationships with both sides of my family, granted my parents are still marries and if they divorced it would make as much of a difference in my life as when I was a child but I still wouldn't have wanted to miss out on what I have with them. I'm just trying to make sense out of the story because you said they were going to camp then you changed it to the middle one is too old for camp and the youngest isn't really in camp either she is like a mother's helper for a younger camp. I just figured if the middle one is too old for camp then the oldest one would be as well.

Judy--the youngest is 10 years old, per the OP. I'd have a hard time being entertained at age 10 with a bunch of kindergardners, too. And I have a feeling that she's unpaid help--because 10 is too young to be on her own, but old enough to help with younger children.

BUT--I agree with everyone else. Your only chance of changing this is to go back to court.



Hmm - missed the age. Thanks.

I actually just spoke to my lawyer last week about a similar situation. The father of my daughter is not home for the visitation he just took me to court for. He is traveling for his job and expects me to take my daughter to his mothers house when he is gone. I asked my lawyer if I had to do this because I was under the impression that, it is his time and he gets to choose who she spends her time with, whether it be him or joe schmo! My lawyer said visitation was awarded to him, not to his mother, not to a babysitter, but to him. He has to be present for all visitations. Im not sure if it works this way in your state, Im from Ohio.