About 18 months ago I became very good friends with a guy we had an absolutely fantastic connection and chemistry and hung out a lot and talked for hours and hours sometimes 5-6 hours in a row I know I was important to him and he cared about me.

He is one of those emotionally immature and emotionally detached men. He is also a bit socially weird, he is friends with mainly girls and can say all sorts of things to them and get away with it, he steals their jewelry randomly gives girls flowers but everyone knows it means nothing... he will do whatever he wants whenever he wants and loves his independence but he sacrificed a lot for me.

The last 6 months I started to like him a lot, we started spending a lot of time together watching movies every night I used to lie on his lap and he used to put his arm round me and stroke my waist and stroke my back and hug me... over the past month I saw him every night we used to talk for hours and hours sit and watch TV together hugging and cuddling and him stroking me occasionally I would kiss his cheek and he would seem to like it... he started giving me really tight hugs and being really nice to me and sending me messages like good night sleep well etc we used to text allll if I wanted a milkshake at midnight he would come and pick me up and take me even if he didn't want anything. We went to the cinema and he held my hand throughout the movie. He just gave me so much time, more than he gave anyone else.

Tuesday night we were sitting together watching TV, and we kissed... we kissed twice, first I tried to intiate it and he wasn't feeling it so I backed off but then he came forward to kiss me.

afterwards I tried to act normal... but he said we should have kissed two friends shouldn't have kissed. I said we must have kissed for a reason and he said oh my god u and your fate and destinity.. I said oh my god I'm saying that I'm just saying that I like you more than a friend. We ended up having a 5 hour conversation in which basically he said he thought we were just friends (utter crap) and he didn't realise I liked him, to him crying because he hurt me and he didn't want that to happen at all he just hated to see me hurt and hates himself, he also kept going on how he doesn't want a relationship even though I wasn't asking for one and then kept saying there is nothing not to like about you, this isn't about you I just don't want a relationship... eventually after this 5 hour confusing conversation with both of us crying holding hands... he said as far as I'm concerned we are still friends and the kiss was a mistake and he was sorry.

However ever since then, he has not been in touch with me I had to initate contact with him and its been just weird and awkward.

I know he likes me I'm not stupid, I miss him I want him back.

will no contact work in this situation? If not what can I do?

thank you so much for reading. X

Hey Alvena,

He is a very confused guy. He admitted making that mistake that's a big step. Give him time. He does not want it to change. But it's a little to late. In my opinion he tried to cease the moment but realized it was an error. Now that knowing you are into him that's why it's a little weird and awkard. Are you willing to take him back as friends? Sounds like that's what he wants and I think you want more and that why he kind of knows and hence moving away from you. Obviously he wants you as a friend. If you can't handle this friendship then you have to let him go. Its just friends or losing him as a friend. Get the picture.

Back away and give him time to come to grips with what happened. Right now I think he's a little scared, but he'll make a decision soon.

Problem is that sometimes one little kiss can be the end of the friendship altogether. It's possible that he doesn't feel the same for you that you do for him. In that case the friendship may have to come to an end.

I'm still stuck on him " he is friends with mainly girls and can say all sorts of things to them and get away with it, he steals their jewelry randomly gives girls flowers but everyone knows it means nothing...he will do whatever he wants whenever he wants and loves his independence" Sounds like a winner.

If he wants you to leave him a lone, if he thinks kissing you was a mistake, the best thing you can do is leave him alone. Don't push him farther away by pressuring him. He sounds like the type that would not take to that.

Im in the same situation.. . Trying really hard not to contact him! You are not alone!

Hi, I just want you to know that I've went through this with a friend I've known for 3 years, I continuously hung out with him and his friends and one night at his friends birthday/ sleepover he would not stop stroking my hair, holding my hand and leaning his head on my shoulder. He was hugging into me and cuddling for so long that I learnt in for the kiss. He was kissing me back but shortly after he said it should just be a one time thing and that it was experimentation.. Of course I was so traumatized after kissing I just wanted to kiss more and ignore whatever he just said. So slightly after that I told him I cared for him so much and that I loved him very much also, he said it back to me and then he said I hope this just doesn't ruin our friendship and I said No, it won't. I also threw in that I've been holding back on the fact that I find him attractive then he said Well that's a start. We both talked about random crap and then he pulled my arm over him to go to sleep then. In the morning we, well we didn't sleep much so we all went home that day.

He winked at me that morning but, a day after I had been talking to him on Facebook and we we're having a good conversation not involving that night of course, he was maintaining the conversation and that was fine. That week though, I saw him in school a couple of times and he couldn't really seem to look at me any of the times, and when I was talking to his friends he said one thing to me out of the hole time , he told me to tell his friend to take his hat off because it looked awful.. I thought OK, its resolving, But.. after this I started wondering what was going on and was he thinking about that night, I have spoke with him about it now after him turning down my party offer that he was going to go to and he said we were being young and that its done now, I cried a bit at this but only because I was shocked he only liked me as a friend he said "Yeah, honestly i just wanna be friends just." them words came right at me like a bullet not even kidding. I thought and I thought and when I had the right words to say I wrote how if I wanted to be young I'd go out , get drunk and kiss a complete stranger, but I didn't I kissed a guy I had real feelings for and now I know that isn't what he wanted I was truly sorry and that I still meant what I said to him on the night, he is the bestest friend ever and I care for him so much, I said I hope this hasn't crept u out and I've actually been sitting here for about an hr not wanting to right anything remotely like this.. he said to me "You to me are and will remain the bestest friend I have and most likely ever will have, and I don't want to change that as much as you do"

This made me feel like a massive weight had been lifted off my shoulder, not in the way I had planned but the fact that he showed me nothing but care and honesty towards the friendship side of things was enough to keep me in there, and not lose one of my best friends because I couldn't live with myself afterwords if I had of come down like a tun of bricks and said I felt used and such because truth is,.

we all make assumptions but in the moment we can never tell just what someone is feeling and in your case I think he needs to go through someone like you have to make him realize its not a game, and that love does exist just when u least expect it and he won't know that until it happens him some day, at least you can walk away with your head held high and know that you weren't playing him, you weren't using him and you were not being a typical girl. Its only human to kiss someone when they show you affection, so I'd keep my distance for a while but within good reason and just make sure he does not take advantage of you again.