My ex husband got custody of our son last year during our divorce. I was afraid I'd never see my son again so I dropped all domestic violence charges and the court ordered paternity test in exchange for visitation with my son. I now found out he had the test done and he is NOT the biological father - he told a friend who told a friend and it got back to me. I know who is the bio. Dad and want to proceed to file a petition for scientific paternity testing on both, and do a modification of our divorce decree and modification of custody. My son just turned 7. Will the courts grant my wish for for the testing and custody? I am in Florida.

You ask and the Court either agrees to your request or not -

In general the courts would look to the father of the child to show caus why they shouldn't be the father based on biological grounds. Since he is the legal father unless there is some one to step up its not likely they will want to change it easily.

I know who the bio dad is. My lawyer ordered a paternity test through the courts and the results came in but his lawyer played dumb and I was too focused on just getting my visitation so never brought up what the results might be during our mediation. Do I have grounds against the lawyers for due diligence, or not following proper procedures?

Now I know the results, and I know the real dad. I am requesting a paternity test for the real dad, and then filing for a modification in custody after the results of the tests are admitted to the court.

I know who the bio dad is. My lawyer ordered a paternity test through the courts and the results came in but his lawyer played dumb and I was too focused on just getting my visitation so never brought up what the results might be during our mediation. Do I have grounds against the lawyers for due diligence, or not following proper procedures?

Now I know the results, and I know the real dad. I am requesting a paternity test for the real dad, and then filing for a modification in custody after the results of the tests are admitted to the court.

You can not file for someone. They would have to do it and depending on the state it may be too late for a challenge.

I know who the bio dad is. My lawyer ordered a paternity test through the courts and the results came in but his lawyer played dumb and I was too focused on just getting my visitation so never brought up what the results might be during our mediation. Do I have grounds against the lawyers for due diligence, or not following proper procedures?

Now I know the results, and I know the real dad. I am requesting a paternity test for the real dad, and then filing for a modification in custody after the results of the tests are admitted to the court.

I don't understand your question. What do you think the lawyers did not do properly?

As has already been addressed, just because your exhusband is not the biological father doesn't mean you get your child back. The courts rule in what they feel is in the best interest of the child - why do you want to take your child away from the only father he has known for the past seven years?

Here is the story... fully now the I understand. I am obviously not the person, I am a friend helping so I apologize for the confusion.

A year ago, they were divorced. A child was born out of wedlock 18 months before their wedding. She was seeing another man before they got back together after a short breakup just before learning she was pregnant. Now, after him being arrested for DV and multiple injunctions were filed, dismissed, etc... they went through a divorce of which he was going for custody of their son. There is a court ordered paternity test and he took the test and results were sent to his lawyer. His lawyer told him he was NOT bio dad and to keep his mouth shut. Unfortunately, he didn't keep his mouth shut and word got back to mom recently. My friend lost the custody to him and now she's finding out this news. During mediation, the lawyers never addressed the pat. Test results or requirement. It was forgotten. She had so much stress living in a shelter with no money, no job, and was not allowed access to their joint home to get any belongings prior to the divorce. She was just trying to see her child and that's all she was worried about. She was not in a good state of mind.

She wants to go back for custody now that she had moved out of the women's shelter and is on more solid ground. She will allow visitation to him, but knows bio dad and wants a pat. Test to prove he is bio dad. She wants custody of her son and is more than willing to allow current dad visitation. She still cannot afford a lawyer at this time.

Rumor also has it that the child's circumstances have changed. He has moved to an unknown address with dad's new girlfriend, and dad has been questionably drunk or under the influence on several occasions while son is in the car. She is checking with DCF - supposedly there were reports filed against him and she is checking to see if they have any merit.

Here is the story...fully now the I understand. I am obviously not the person, I am a friend helping so I apologize for the confusion.

A year ago, they were divorced. A child was born out of wedlock 18 months before their wedding. She was seeing another man before they got back together after a short breakup just before learning she was pregnant. Now, after him being arrested for DV and multiple injunctions were filed, dismissed, etc....they went through a divorce of which he was going for custody of their son. There is a court ordered paternity test and he took the test and results were sent to his lawyer. His lawyer told him he was NOT bio dad and to keep his mouth shut. Unfortunately, he didn't keep his mouth shut and word got back to mom recently. My friend lost the custody to him and now she's finding out this news. During mediation, the lawyers never addressed the pat. test results or requirement. It was forgotten. She had so much stress living in a shelter with no money, no job, and was not allowed access to their joint home to get any belongings prior to the divorce. She was just trying to see her child and that's all she was worried about. She was not in a good state of mind.

She wants to go back for custody now that she had moved out of the women's shelter and is on more solid ground. She will allow visitation to him, but knows bio dad and wants a pat. test to prove he is bio dad. She wants custody of her son and is more than willing to allow current dad visitation. She still cannot afford a lawyer at this time.

Rumor also has it that the child's circumstances have changed. He has moved to an unknown address with dad's new girlfriend, and dad has been questionably drunk or under the influence on several occasions while son is in the car. She is checking with DCF - supposedly there were reports filed against him and she is checking to see if they have any merit.

Well, I have an issue believing you for a number of reasons - the first being that you were dishonest from the very beginning about who you were and what the situation is.

The second reason I don't believe you is that you're trying to tell me that the exhusband and his lawyer "hid" the results of a court-ordered DNA test. That is not possible; the lab reports to the court, not to the lawyer. So you're lying again.

You also mentioned that the mother "dropped" the DV charges - that's not how it works either. Only the prosecuting attorney can request that the charges be dropped and they're not going to do it "just because."

As I already mentioned, simply because he is not the biological father does not mean that you/the mother will receive custody of the child. The courts may very well feel that it is in the child's best interest to keep him with the man he has known as his father for the past seven years. Family is not defined by blood.

I'm not lying... I just don't understand the judicial system and how a court ordered paternity test can be overlooked if paternity is in question. How is that? I just assumed that he and his lawyer "hid" the results.

He was arrested for DV and charges were expunged just last week. So, who dropped the charges in that case? The state? The court? I don't, and the friend I am trying to help doesn't understand how all this happened.

Regardless of the situation, I understand he is dad and will remain dad unless the bio dad wants involvement. She can still try and get custody and time sharing for dad and bio dad, can't she? She has that right to ask for modification of custody... especially since there seems to be a change in circumstance for the child (which she has to still prove as well).

I'm not trying to pick an argument. I'm just trying to help a very confused friend who isn't sure how to go about things in this situation. She's scared, alone and has no money. Just looking for help. My apologies.

I'm not lying... I just don't understand the judicial system and how a court ordered paternity test can be overlooked if paternity is in question. How is that? I just assumed that he and his lawyer "hid" the results.
Apparently, you have not read anything I have written to you. The court rules what they feel is in the child's best interest. Ripping him away from his father of the past seven years would be detrimental to any child. You need to stop "assuming" you know what's going on because you are posting it as fact and it is not.


He was arrested for DV and charges were expunged just last week. So, who dropped the charges in that case? The state? The court? I don't, and the friend I am trying to help doesn't understand how all this happened.
The state probably found that there was no just cause and dropped the charges. It's not that uncommon. Again, you originally posted that you/the mother dropped the charges - now you're saying the state did.


Regardless of the situation, I understand he is dad and will remain dad unless the bio dad wants involvement. She can still try and get custody and time sharing for dad and bio dad, can't she? She has that right to ask for modification of custody... especially since there seems to be a change in circumstance for the child (which she has to still prove as well).
No, she can't just get custody because she decided to get her life together and suddenly wants to bring up paternity. This is a human being, not a puppy. The courts won't allow a child to just be tossed back and forth between homes like a toy.

Yes, if there is a substantial change in circumstances then she can request a placement/physical custody change. However, you lead me to believe that there is no proof of a change other than the mother addressing paternity, seven years after the fact.


I'm not trying to pick an argument. I'm just trying to help a very confused friend who isn't sure how to go about things in this situation. She's scared, alone and has no money. Just looking for help. My apologies.
If you are upfront and honest, it helps much more. We've had people come to this site, make up elaborate stories, we all offer our time and advice just to find out that the situation isn't even real. When you post such questionable things and contradict yourself, it makes us think that you may be doing the same.

Now as I said, if you/your friend is truly going through this, then I'm sorry. But there is a reason she doesn't have custody right now - because she was not the best place for the child to be living. The fact that you're trying to drag paternity into shows that she's grasping at straws because she has nothing else to build a case on. If she did, she wouldn't be wasting her time with a paternity test.

Well, I have an issue believing you for a number of reasons - the first being that you were dishonest from the very beginning about who you were and what the situation is.
I do not believe,too.

Understood. Thank you. She couldn't possibly provide the best atmosphere for her child at that time not having a place to live except a shelter for abused women and no income since he had the house and she ran her business out of the home. Now, a year later, she has gotten herself in a better situation - not ideal. She just doesn't know how to proceed. I will inform her of the probability of her request never transpiring... she just wants her son back.

It's so much to explain and understand on a blog site... she just can't afford a lawyer and the free services have failed her previously.

Thank you for you input. It does help and is much appreciated.

Understood. Thank you. She couldn't possibly provide the best atmosphere for her child at that time not having a place to live except a shelter for abused women and no income since he had the house and she ran her business out of the home. Now, a year later, she has gotten herself in a better situation - not ideal. She just doens't know how to proceed. I will inform her of the probability of her request never transpiring....she just wants her son back.

It's so much to explain and understand on a blog site....she just can't afford a lawyer and the free services have failed her previously.

Thank you for you input. It does help and is much appreciated.

Your friend needs to understand that an attorney, free or not, is not the problem. Her ex was awarded custody - the courts are not going to want to remove him from his home environment unless there is a substantial change of circumstances. Her getting back on her feet is not the change that they are looking for; she would have to prove that the child is being somehow abused or neglected while under his father's care.

Additionally, this is not a "blog" site. We take pride in the accuracy of our answers. If you want the most accurate answer, then you need to provide as much information as possible. If you want to be discreet, that's fine - but you can't just say "She wants her son back" because that's not how the courts operate.