I would like to thank everyone who reponded to my first entry I really appreciate it. Things have not gotten better, Im crying continuously thinking of the last time I saw him and the last time I heard his voice. It getting harder for me. When I pray at night I talk to him and tell him that I love him.I always wonder do he hear me? Why come he haven't came to me yet in spirit?Is it because I'm still sad? I want to hear his voice see his face and itS hurting deep down inside that I cant! Why did this have to happen! We were planning on having children and getting married. I just don't understand and really need the support and advice right now.
DJ85

Oh dear! I am so sorry. You are still at the very beginning of a long road of grief. The waking nightmare phase will continue for awhile longer maybe, but for me the hardest part was about 4 or 5 months into it. By that time everybody else is over the shock and they may have trouble understanding why you aren't. I would love to be able to give you a magic potion to ease the pain, but the best I can do is remind you that time will continue to pass and the sun will rise and set, and someday you will find the silver lining to this horrible dark cloud that covers everything right now. Hold fast to your faith and don't let anger at God or the murderer overwhelm you. It's part of the process, and it too shall pass. Don't feel like you have to get over this. It's not something you get over, but you do eventually learn to live with it. Lean on your family and friends and know that love never dies, even if those we share it with do.

dj85,

Like ordinaryguy, I wish I could say something to make you miraculously better. But he's right, this is going to take time. Could you talk to a bereavement councillor? What about his mum, could you share your feelings with each other. I'm sure she would like to know how much you loved her son. Maybe it's still too soon for that. The circumstances are very tragic.

I think all you can do just now is take care of yourself. Make sure you are getting enough sleep and eating okay. Getting tired and run down on top of all the grief will only make you feel weaker and unable to cope. Be kind and gentle with yourself, you have a long, rough road ahead. Come around and have a chat with us and we will try to help if we can. Okay? I'm so sorry for your loss.

I would like to thank everyone who reponded to my first entry I really appreciate it. Things have not gotten better, Im crying continously thinking of the last time I saw him and the last time I heard his voice. It getting harder for me. When I pray at night I talk to him and tell him that I love him.I always wonder do he hear me? Why come he havent came to me yet in spirit?Is it because im still sad? I wanna hear his voice see his face and itS hurting deep down inside that I cant! Why did this have to happen! We were planning on having children and getting married. I just dont understand and really need the support and advice right now.
DJ85
Hey girl I know exactly how you feel: My boyfriend of 7 years was killed in a car accident on March 10. I have the same questions and thoughts about the situation as you do. We were also planning to get married and have children in the future, now it just feels like my world has stopped. It's so hard to deal with.

I too feel your pain. I lost my boyfriend of 6 years to a car accident over two years ago. I have a 14 year old daughter who thought of him as a father figure so she is still hurting as I am. I find that I have gone through stages of grieving. First deep depression, then anger and now I just want to be alone. I have no desire to date. Yes I miss the companionship but I still compare too much. No one can compare to Mike. I am just concentrating on work, my daughter and home. I go out maybe once every two month with my girlfriend. I am still going through the greiving process and I am not sure what emotion comes next. I just take one day at a time and unfortunately time is the only thing that will heal you.

To all of you who lost a boyfriend or husband...
I have been in the same situation and lost my fiancée at the time in a car accident.
We swapped seats, I drove when it happened and while he was sitting in "my seat" the accident happened. Although it was not my fault it was instant shock and guilt that I was still alive.

This is 20 years ago now...
All that I can say to you is... time will heal, it will put a second skin on your grief.
It does not mean that it will go away entirely.
But at least you will not feel that enormous pain every day again.

Taking one day at the time is the only way to deal with it.
It is incredibly hard.
And there will always be memories, little things that remind you of that person.
In the beginning that is almost devastating...
However, as time goes by it will enable you to see at as "little signs" that you and that person are still connected..
I still see it as a little "sign"... a little "hello my darling, how are you today" when I see certain things that remind me of him...
And even though I am married now and do not feel that pain on a daily basis anymore, the experience remains and scarred me for life.

Take your time to grief.

And all the best and my warmest wishes to all of you in this grieving process.
Take your time.

Me and you are in the same situation I think. In the search bar on the home page type in ' my fiancé passed away, what do I do without him? ' maybe we could help each other x

If anyone still looks at this can u contact me? I have the same situation and thoughts as the person who posted this question and would love to talk to you

If anyone still looks at this can u contact me? I have the exact same situation and thoughts as the person who posted this question and would love to talk to you

You will get better responses if you start your own thread. Just click on the "Ask about Bereavement" button and tell your story. Be patient, as it may take a day or two for responses to come along.

I wish you comfort for your woe.

I'm so sorry to here that, My name is louis gregory I lost my wife of 21 yrs, she pass away on 11/13/09 We have 3 kids togetter and some day's I don't know what to do. But from me to you don't give up keep praying.

Biglou, it's nice that you want to help but this thread is from 2009, long inactive. There are more recent threads on bereavement and those people could use your advice. Please keep an eye on the dates.