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View Full Version : How can I stop these thoughts..


Broken19
Apr 20, 2010, 05:38 AM
There's a girl I've met long time ago (know her for a year now), she's like a "friend" hanging out with us (all the other friends) when going out on fridays, etc...

Since the first time I saw her I had strongs feeling to her and I couldn't stop thinking of her anytime, anyday... it was going like this for about 6 month's until I've tried and talked to her... asked her out... (this was after I didn't see her for a month or 2). She said OK... the story is long... but in the end she didn't want it... she said to my friend to talk to me... she don't want to hurt me as a friend.

Since then it was like 3 months going on...
At first I felt so bad, I barely went out of home... couldn't do the usually stuff... even to hear music or watch the TV.

Now, I feel better, she's still going out with us as a friend... I can't stand it... it's really hard for me to see her even talking to others even though we didn't have nothing...

Few days ago we went all out to a place that we went in the old times when it all happened and suddenly I had the old feelings of the past and I had like a "shutdown" , I didn't talk much.. I didn't feel like having fun or doing anything. (things that were going on in the past when she said no).

Now I'm having the same thoughts of the past... like it all came back and I can't remove her from my mind even for a minute (a thing that was fixed slowly... came back again).

I know I did a mistale let her coming with us to the same place as it will remind me those things...

I'm so confsued and I don't know how to deal with it... I'm always thinking if there's something I can do to fix it with her or make it happen.. anything.. but I truly know there is not... because she knows what I feel... if she want it she could come and talk...

How can I stop this thoughts and let it go?.

Devorameira
Apr 20, 2010, 06:42 AM
You sound obsessed with her - not good! Keep in mind that people who love someone who doesn't love them back as more than a friend, could eventually come to truly hate that person. Not saying that it will turn out like that, just be prepared that it could.

You can’t take back anything you’ve done or said to her. If you can’t handle being around her, you may need to find a new group of friends to run around with for awhile until your obsession fades.

If you can’t knock the feelings yourself, you might consider some counseling to get you over the rough period.

talaniman
Apr 20, 2010, 09:42 AM
Constantly having your feelings stirred up is tough, and maybe what you need is more healing time, and that requires not hanging out together, and in places that you have a lot of memories in.

Broken19
Apr 20, 2010, 10:22 AM
Yeah well, I felt better in the last 2 month's when I tried not to see her much... until I've made a mistake going out with all of my friends and her... and yeah I didn't see it as "obsessed" and it sounds awful but when you say it... I AM... even at online chats on the friend list when she's online I feel like I hope she will message me or anything like that...

talaniman
Apr 20, 2010, 10:26 AM
Too much CONTACT!

Broken19
Apr 20, 2010, 10:30 AM
Too much pain, I'm always asking myself why it didn't turn out like I wanted

talaniman
Apr 20, 2010, 10:44 AM
That's a question I often ask myself in the past. Now I don't ask, I make adjustments to the plan.

Your adjustments are obvious, new people, places, and things.

New memories, to replace old ones. Works every time.

Broken19
Apr 20, 2010, 02:44 PM
How can you replace memories that you can't let go of ?

CarrotTalker
Apr 20, 2010, 03:29 PM
How can you replace memories that you can't let go of ?

You can never really replace a memory.

You simply create new positive memories, which will push those old memories away. Until with time, it won't seem so intense.