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View Full Version : Should I now tell him the real reason why I no longer what to be his friend?


Sarah74951
Apr 13, 2010, 09:40 AM
I need some opinions from people other than my friends,more biased.
I'll keep it brief. I was hanging out with this guy who I really liked. About 4 months. It didn't work out, he didn't want a relationship with me I guess. I decided to stay friends with him,completely platonic.

But! Ok... my ex's son's mother friend requested me and after 3 days of decideding if I should or not I accepted. We didn't really know each other but had brief encounters when she used to drop off their son at his house.It was always cordial. She noticed I was friends with the guy I was hanging out with and asked me how I knew him. I told her how we use to date but now are friends. She then tells me that they are friends but had been sleeping together for several months(obviously while I was dating him) I was upset because I directly would ask him about his dating situation and he said how he wasn't seeing anyone at all or sleeping with people at all. Basically from everything she told me he lied about everything! I decided right then and there to end my friendship with him. He asked me if it stemed from anything anyone told me. I told him no I just couldn't be friends with him because I still really liked him. He then said he respected that but at the same time kind of mentioned how people will make up stories.etc. so I get the feeling he thinks someone told on him. My friends say I that even though she asked me not to tell him we talked that I should have told him the real reason why I really didn't no longer want to be friends with him, they say I didn't owe her anything to not tell him. And that I should have been meaner to him!I agree with them now and feel like I should tell him now the real reason. Maybe through email or whatever. Should I do this or not?

amicon
Apr 13, 2010, 10:03 AM
If he ever asks you again,tell him the truth,but otherwise,just leave it.

It's not really worth worrying about,don't you think?

Sarah74951
Apr 13, 2010, 01:08 PM
Yeah Definantly not worth it. I guess I rather regret not having said something than regret have said it.

Kitkat22
Apr 13, 2010, 01:13 PM
Yeah Definantly not worth it. I guess I rather regret not having said something than regret have said it.

Keep quiet... it's over.

Girl-with-Story
Apr 13, 2010, 03:41 PM
It won't change the outcome. Walk away from this with your dignity, it's more important than getting this off your chest in my opinion.

Kitkat22
Apr 13, 2010, 04:05 PM
It won't change the outcome. Walk away from this with your dignity, it's more important than getting this off your chest in my opinion.

He's a player

JoeCanada76
Apr 13, 2010, 04:11 PM
Agree agree agree.

talaniman
Apr 13, 2010, 04:50 PM
I better not touch this, as I believe in getting the truth before we get into any actions. I also know that exes lie, when they have their own agendas.

You just never know but some dramas are better left alone.

Kitkat22
Apr 13, 2010, 04:53 PM
I better not touch this, as I believe in getting the truth before we get into any actions. I also know that exes lie, when they have their own agendas.

You just never know but some dramas are better left alone.




He's out of your life.. Let it go!

Sarah74951
Apr 13, 2010, 07:19 PM
I better not touch this, as I believe in getting the truth before we get into any actions. I also know that exes lie, when they have their own agendas.

You just never know but some dramas are better left alone.

I always asked for the truth from him WHEN we were "dating". That's why I decided to remain platonic friends with him because I thought well at least there was honesty. But now that I found out he lied.I don't want any kind of a friend that I know has bold faced lied to me. I think the reason why I said to him that I can't be friends with you because I have feelings for you still... Because not only was that true as well. I felt that if I told him the real story it WOULD create drama... from his responses though I think He suspected.And also said he respected my choice (I don't really care about his lying jerk opinion at this point anyway.) . I'm in the process of Letting it go. I just was still reeling from the situation since it just happened two days ago. Thanks for the good opinions everyone:o

Kitkat22
Apr 13, 2010, 07:22 PM
I always asked for the truth from him WHEN we were "dating". That's why I decided to remain platonic friends with him because I thought well at least there was honesty. But now that I found out he lied.I don't want any kind of a friend that I know has bold faced lied to me. I think the reason why I said to him that I can't be friends with you because I have feelings for you still ... Because not only was that true as well. I felt that if I told him the real story it WOULD create drama...from his responses though I think He suspected.And also said he respected my choice (I don't really care about his lieing jerk opinion at this point anyway.) . I'm in the process of Letting it go. I just was still reeling from the situation since it just happened two days ago. Thanks for the good opinions everyone:o

Gag... you are better off... :rolleyes:

Gemini54
Apr 14, 2010, 04:20 AM
I'm going to take a slightly different view - I think you should have asked him and heard the truth from his mouth.

You actually don't know if he lied - you only heard a story from another woman, who may or may not have been telling the truth. You don't know what her motives were and you have no way of knowing if she was honest.

I'd leave it this time, but next time ask the person concerned directly. At least then you can make up your own mind.

Kitkat22
Apr 14, 2010, 04:28 AM
I'm going to take a slightly different view - I think you should have asked him and heard the truth from his mouth.

You actually don't know if he lied - you only heard a story from another woman, who may or may not have been telling the truth. You don't know what her motives were and you have no way of knowing if she was honest.

I'd leave it this time, but next time ask the person concerned directly. At least then you can make up your own mind.



He sounds like a player to me!

Sarah74951
Apr 14, 2010, 07:13 AM
I'm going to take a slightly different view - I think you should have asked him and heard the truth from his mouth.

You actually don't know if he lied - you only heard a story from another woman, who may or may not have been telling the truth. You don't know what her motives were and you have no way of knowing if she was honest.

I'd leave it this time, but next time ask the person concerned directly. At least then you can make up your own mind.

Your right if that were the case. But she gave specific details that only someone that was intimate with him would know.He lied! Kit Kat22 is right he's a total player and would have not been a good friend

Kitkat22
Apr 14, 2010, 10:04 AM
Your right if that were the case. But she gave specific details that only someone that was intimate with him would know.He lied! Kit Kat22 is right he's a total player and would have not been a good friend






Hope you are feeling better about all this... :)

Sarah74951
Apr 14, 2010, 02:34 PM
Hope you are feeling better about all this.....:)

I'm still reeling a little bit but that will fade. Makes it harder since this is a smaller place. But, YES I am feeling better thank you.
Although, I can put my hand in the fire that the other person will continue to see him... probably thinks she got rid of some of the competition.. which she did and she can have him!

Kitkat22
Apr 14, 2010, 02:40 PM
I'm still reeling a lil bit but that will fade. Makes it harder since this is a smaller place. But, YES I am feeling better thank you.
Although, I can put my hand in the fire that the other person will continue to see him...probably thinks she got rid of some of the competition..which she did and she can have him!



You are woman.. here you roar! :D

Sarah74951
Apr 16, 2010, 03:00 PM
Am I reading too much into this? First of don't get me wrong, I'm not going to contact him or respond.
I decided not to delete him from my Facebook as friends. My reason being, If we would have been dating or in a relationship I would see why I should have but we didn't. I also thought in my mind it may seem to him that I was making it a big deal if he saw I deleted him. Maybe I'm wrong, Maybe I'm right.

Anway, I hadn't posted anything on my wall since I told him I didn't want to talk or be friends anymore. I did the other day. I just said how I really wanted to go to this concert really bad and named a bunch of the artist that would be there. And, since I hadn't deleted him he put that he "likes it" thing up. I think I remember him saying he liked one of those artist maybe.
But anyway, I find it strange since the past 4 months he never put anything on my page since the first week we met. (He liked a picture of me) but nothing since then.

talaniman
Apr 16, 2010, 03:37 PM
Am I missing something here? How do you keep him as a friend, after you catch him in a blatant lie?? I smell false hope, and confusion!

Kitkat22
Apr 16, 2010, 05:51 PM
Am I missing something here? How do you keep him as a friend, after you catch him in a blatant lie??? I smell false hope, and confusion!





Friends do not hurt friends. Period. You are well rid of him. Keep it that way!

roxy1011
Sep 2, 2012, 05:24 AM
Don't tell him unless he brings it up cause else there's just gonno be a big fight and you don't want that to happen do U