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View Full Version : I'm having a broken heart ! Help advise please


Pinkie_Roxeee
Apr 7, 2010, 08:26 PM
It's been the weirdest situation ever!! We knew each other 2 months ago.. . Decided to start knowing each other better maybe we can start a relationship. At first we were getting along so perfectly for the 1st week until when he forgot his mobile with his friend.. . I kept calling and texting for 2 days with no reply.. . I did weird stuff like calling him from different numbers and so! He answered then but because he was still sorting out his missed calls and messages he hadn't called me yet.. . But then he called me the other day.. . explaining what happened but that changed some stuff between us and he told me that the way I reacted when he lost his phone showed that I cared too much about him and that I won't be happy to have a relationship with him because of his work nature makes him travel for weeks sometimes with no signal and so... and he did not want to see me hurt so he prefers to think carefully before we go on!

I gave him a space to think but the first time he called me he could not resist telling me that he misses me a lot and that he wants me back in his life!! This made me melt because I was missing him badly!! Gradually as he was trying to have time to think.. . We started to fall in love!! I could not resist getting attached to him to a dangerous extent! He knew it and he told me he loved me as well! Then he was so lost once telling me to consider it over for the time being and once telling me consider it finally over... Then suddenly when we were arguing one day he surprised me to tell me he loves me like no other and that he can't wait that we get engaged and so.. . We stayed for 3 days in that marvelous love story then when I texted him telling him I loved him to a dangerous extent, he was crazy and told me we had to end it because I care a lot for him and that he adores me but he can't have me to care this way... he said he doesn't want headache and that he did not want anyone to limit his freedom.. To be honest nothing of what he claimed made sense to me... I was only crying not knowing how after he loved me that way he could hurt me that bad!! He did not want me to discuss it again at all.. shouting if I called to discuss it.! So I took the step of blocking him on MSN and Facebook and decided not to answer his calls again... Simply because he asked me to forget him.

Two days later,he called... I got weak and answered him!! I couldnot see him calling and I don't answer... but he was only making me understand that he did not care for me blocking him!! I felt so hurt then!

A week later , after spending all time remembering and crying, I texted him a strong sms by which I was only trying to show him how hurt and destroyed I was feeling...
He called me and begged me to answer... He explained that he's not good for me and that is what made him lose me... he said that he gets drunk on weekends and that he's living a dull life... with this hectic work which makes him unable to be committed... he said he did not love anyone like me and that he would not want to marry any one but me... but he decided to sacrifice this for my sake!!

I felt so relieved to hear that he still loves me! The second day I called him , he was so nice and romantic texting me to tell me he misses me and that I'm his love... saying Goodnight... then calling me when he woke up but he ended this call very quickly... By that time we had agreed that we will talk as friends... that's why I realized he ended the call because he was getting weak and was going to tell me he loved me!!

We stayed this way for one more week.. . then one day I was calling him he did not answer and I already known that this day he was going to travel for work so I was afraid that we don't talk before he tarvelled so I kept nagging and calling, texting... till he called me an hour later shouting and saying that he no longer wants to help me forget him and that we won't even talk as friends.. . And he hang up... then he immediately called again and apologized... He told me he never seen a girl that loved him this way and that he was lucky to have me... and said that he will try to work it out with me... he will think and let me know... I felt so happy and had hope then!! Two days later I called him and found him talking to me in a way showing me he does not care.. . so I asked him if he needs me to give him some space to think... he asked me about my opinion... I told him all what I felt... how I loved him and how I want him in my life... and that I can't focus on work except if we are good together and in love.. I could not bear to stay away from him during that week when we broke up... He said that he did not have words and did not know what to say.

He said he will call me later to discuss it,. and it was the worst call... he told me he could not find a possibility to work it out with me... and that he will travel for 20 days with no mobile... I went crazy and begged him to talk to me before he travelled... We then agreed that we will stay friends but after I had cried a lot and nagged a lot and he was acting like he was going to disappear from my life... I begged him not to and he said OK... he would help me to forget him by staying in ma life and talking as friends...

Can anyone tell me how can I make him realize that he loves me? I know he does and I can't figure out why he is running away.. I told him I dun care if he's bad or if he travels with no signal... as long as he's back to me!! Im accepting it.. but all I know is that I want him to love me again!! I can't forget him in anyway!

Clough
Apr 7, 2010, 08:46 PM
Hi, Pinkie_Roxeee!

What is the primary way that you're commincating with this guy, please?

Thanks!

Pinkie_Roxeee
Apr 7, 2010, 09:22 PM
The Primary way is phone calls! We haven't met since troubles came up!! He's saying it's better for me if I don't see him!! Would you help me by giving your opinion? I'm so desperate!!

Clough
Apr 7, 2010, 09:30 PM
How many times have you met this man in person, please?

amicon
Apr 8, 2010, 01:20 AM
You are going to have to let this go.

This guy doesn't know what's up or what's down,and his mobile phone/no signal etc story smells of a rat to me.

For some reason he changed his mind and you need to accept that and move on.

Pinkie_Roxeee
Apr 8, 2010, 03:22 AM
Clough. . We met only twice!!


Amicon.. . But he only said he loved me after these stories of mobile phone and no signal... I mean no one forced him to say he loved me if he had decided to change his mind... He has stolen my heart... I can't imagine my life without him.. . How can I let him tell me everything honestly in details?. maybe I'd be then convinced ?

amicon
Apr 8, 2010, 04:48 AM
You have only net him twice,he starts acting weird and then tells you he loves you?

Sorry his actions tell a different story.

You can't force a person to have feelings for you-you need to understand that this relationship never got off the ground and you should be moving on.

Pinkie_Roxeee
Apr 8, 2010, 08:26 AM
That's exactly what happened... He keeps telling me that he's bad and that I'm successful and great and I deserve better person than him.. I only want him... He's my first love!! I'm so weak.. . Can't move on!

talaniman
Apr 8, 2010, 03:16 PM
You have fallen hard for a guy who says one thing and does another. He keeps filling your head with romantic fantasy and your so desperate you just eat it all up.

Sorry, but your so desperate that you have given him the power to keep you hanging on to a false dream, that will never happen. That's how people get used, abused, and hurt. And your letting that happen.

You can't convince someone of what they want, and he sees how desperate you are and keeps it alive with... Phones calls?

Most self respecting people would not put up with that, unless they had actions by that person to back it up. You have none!

In short, you are allowing him to fill you with enough BS, to keep you hanging on, and weak for whatever he wants. Not a healthy place to be, so take your life back, just so you can see the game he is playing, then you will understand how truly pathetic you have become.

Sorry to be harsh, but its so true, and you better pay attention to your own actions, not his.

That's why you leave him alone and stop answering his calls. If you don't then you will never be able to deal with your own desperate, somewhat irrational feelings, because you will keep allowing him to play on them.

Pinkie_Roxeee
Apr 8, 2010, 08:14 PM
Talaniman... It's all true what you're saying!! I believe every single word... but what I can do if I can't imagine myself not talking to him?. and these days we only talk as friends as I was going crazy when we tried to cut it completely.. . So he accepted to help me forget that I love him and talk to me as a Friend.. . he said it to me before he gave his final decision "Babe . . . am lost . . . I wish I can marry you at once and not think of any problems that may come up later, at least there will be no way to escape. . .if not i promise to talk to you till you forget you love me" he said this after seeing me extremely hurt when we decided not to stay in contact... He cares about not hurting me!! I can't give up on him... at least stay in contact with him till I get over loving him!! Because we no longer talk in romance or love.. just normal friends stuff.

talaniman
Apr 9, 2010, 07:00 AM
For one thing you cannot talk someone out of love, if that's truly what you feel, but I doubt it. You must stop all contact and carry on with your life and eventually the feelings fade because they are not being fed any longer.

So until you stop the friend BS, and cut contact all together, you will never heal properly, and will only be prolonging the misery.

Clough
Apr 9, 2010, 10:04 AM
I hope that you truly take in and assimilate all of the excellent advice that talaniman has given to you here, Pinkie_Roxeee!

Pinkie_Roxeee
Apr 10, 2010, 10:40 AM
Talaniman... You are a gift from Heaven.. . Believe me!! After I read your replies... they made a tremendous difference inside me... I felt suddenly that I no longer want to be weak for him and no longer want to waste my time for someone who treats me this way, even if I still love him and even if I know he loves me..! I'm feeling normal now... getting back to my normal life activities.. . Meeting my friends and so! Yet I believe that I won't be feeling all right If I cut contact... I mean if this happened , I will feel that I lost something and might cry over it... but as long as we talk only from time to time normal talks like just he's checking on me and so... I think this won't affect me as long as from inside I dun give my feelings chance to grow and even him, he does not talk as a lover any more... we just talk for very little just checking each other's updates and news... I mean we can stay this way, for me not to have a tragic ending that will leave me hurt I know it!! What do you think??
After all, Thanks a lot Talaniman... You made a miracle to me!!