I'm in high school for starters. I'm 17, in 11th grade
She's in my grade. But she has been dating a guy that is a freshman in college for almost two years now, they are currently now in a long distance relationship

For the past two months, we have been talking, and I found out she likes me, because she told me. I told her I liked her as well.
Mind you, she's one of those really nice innocent girls, so she's not a slut or anything like that.

We were talking a lot, and liking each other more and more, up to about a month ago, I just told her I liked her a lot, and she told me she did too, but she can't break up with her boyfriend. So I said OK maybe we should distance ourselves. Then I didn't talk to her for two days, and then I told her this has to stop and we should talk to each other again.
Then our relationship really picked up. We'd talk on the phone till we fell asleep, hang out with eachohter, just cuddling and such a lot.
Her boyfriend visited last week.. and Idk, it just didn't seem like she cared all that much, sure she was happy he was here, but It didn't seem like she wanted to hang out with him 24 7, although its been 3 months she saw him.
Oh and she told me she said she maybe loves him. Like a month ago.
And she hung out with me too while he was here.
Then I finally told her last week that I didn't like how she had a boyfriend.
And she said OK, and that we should rewind a couple days, so we don't act like we're dating like we have been for the last week.
It felt like a couple weeks that she rewinded, so I confronted her. I asked her who'd she rather be with right now, and after half an hour of saying she can't choose and such, she said right now she'd be with him, although she likes us the same, that history means so much to her.
So I said OK well we shouldn't be just friends since I will not be able to resist flirting with you, we should stop talking until I get over you. She said she wouldn't talk to me until I talked to her. I said she could if it was really important and that I was here for her.
I haven't talked to her for five days. We go back to school next Monday.

My plan is to wait until she talks to me? But what if she doesn't. Idk what to do.

And I realize that I don't want to give up, since I have a chance still don't I?
I never exactly told her how I feel, just that I really like her, and that I didn't like she has a boyfriend.

So what should I do?

Hello,

It sounds as if she wants the best of both worlds to me...

I can understand the fact that you really like her, however, this is very unfair for her boyfriend, you know that, right?

Tell her to poop or get off the can!

Until then, if I were you,I would cut off all lines of communications with her. I'm not trying to judge her, I just call it how I see it.

Also, let me ask you this, what's to say that if you two did hook up, that she wouldn't turn around have someone else on the back burner?

I think she doesn't want to change anything. She’d like to see both of you. She has both of you eating out of the palm of her hand.

If you would manage to take her away from her boyfriend, how do you think she would act when she is with you? When another guy comes along that she's attracted to, will she flirt with him on the side like she has with you?

Since you’ve already told her that you don’t want to see her secretly while she is in another relationship, then stop seeing her completely.

She’s already chosen him over you, so think enough of yourself to find someone who puts you first, not second, to someone she already has.

But like, I can feel that she likes me more.
She's just stuck to him because its her first relationship, and she doesn't want to break up with him because she doesn't want to hurt him

Like he told her if they broke up itd break his heart and he would never see another girl again.
Like comeon man what do you expect her to do?

Hi, whatisthis3!

Do you think that it would be okay for a person to date more than one person at a time?

Thanks!

No I don't think that!
That's why I think for her, it'd be best to break up with him and go with me.
She doesn't love him, (as she says) And he's not going to be here for her senior year..
I'm not being selfish, I'm thinking on her part too.

But, why not date more than one person? Also, how well does she know you, please?

Well that's cheating, and we don't really like that

We know each other very well. Almost every secret.

I dated many women during the same period. They also dated many men, too. It wasn't considered to be cheating then.

A lot of competition can happen in the dating scene. Also, when seeking out someone for a permanent relationship, it pays to shop around.

Do you think that she's the perfect one for you? Also, how much have you dated others, please?

Thanks!

Honestly, I've only dated like one person before.

But cheating is not in our minds, I'm sorry. Thanks for the help though!

Anyone else care to help me out?
Should I talk to her? Like say just hi or something?
I don't want to give up. I never told her how I truly feel..

There should be no problem with speaking with her. However, how about sending a card with a note in it?

I think you should leave her alone for now-its her relationship,and,yes she is in a relationship,so she is off limits.

If in future,she breaks up with the boyfriend,heals from the breakup and finds you again,so be it.


Don't put your life on hold,go live your own life.

A moral compas is important, it seems this girl is lacking, sinse: she can't tell her boyfriend she likes you (and leave him), but on the other hand she can't tell you "im allready with someone, back off"

I don't want to give up so sooooon..

Give up what? She is cheating on her boyfriend, and playing you. Call it what you will, since its not open and honest, but is behind his back its cheating.

So you're the sucker she has charmed into keeping her occupied, since her boyfriend is away. That means your helping her cheat.

But what could we expect from a female in her first relationship, and a guy who isn't that experienced in the ways of females, cheaters without knowing it(?).

When she made her choice, and she chose him, you should have left her alone. Truth be told, you know nothing of their relationship except what she has told you, and she knows for a fact how you feel about her. And you ain't going nowhere, because you're that hooked, and can't stop, knowing she has it both ways. That's not friends, its you following. You told her that's not what you wanted, even gave her an ultimatum, but its you who couldn't stop seeing her. Not her chasing you.

Talaniman Rule- Never ever mess with any one who has just dumped their partner

Talaniman Rules-Never assume that your feelings are shared by any one else.

Talaniman Rule - Never ever get to close to a person that has a committed partner in their lives.

Talaniman Rule- never be in a hurry to give your heart to a stranger. Wait until they have proven they deserve it, and know what to do with it.

Talaniman Rule- Doesn't matter how intense the feelings, or how much fun you have, never give your heart to someone you don't know well, and thats only after the lust has worn off for you both.

Talaniman Rule- leave girls with boyfriends alone, and don't hold your breathe waiting for them to fail.

Talaniman Rule- If one female isn't available, there are millions that are. Don't get stuck on one who is BUSY with other things.

Talaniman Rule- Get your own girlfriend and leave the other guys alone.

Talaniman Rule - Don't miss other opportunities and options because your stuck on someone who is not as stuck on you, thats just plain crazy.

Talaniman Rule- Be honest with yourself, and be honest with others.

Talaniman Rule- Don't play games with your heart, and don't let somebody else play games with it either.

Sorry guy, she was quite clear, she sees you as a friend to keep her from being bored while her boyfriend is unavailable. If he was around she would have NO time for you at all, other than hi, and bye. What makes her wrong is, knowing how you feel she does nothing to discourage you chasing her.

What makes you wrong, after she chose him, you still chase her.

She has a boyfriend, and that makes you BOTH, very wrong but who gets the blame when the boyfriend finds out?

The guy who kept pursuing, after he was told NO, but couldn't walk away. So now tell us where is your dignity, or self respect? Can't you smell friend zone when it hits you in the nose?

.
so what do I do.
Leave her alone and get an honest female that will feel as you do, because this can't be fun, being a place holder for another guy.

Wow! Outstanding post, talaniman! :)

But I want to tell her how I truly feel.
I want to tell her to break up with him, and how I think things can work out with us and stuff
I just hear things from other people that their relationship isn't as strong as it was before.

And like I said, when he was here, she still saw me lots.
And she said if I asked her out she'd say yes.
She just seems stuck in her relationship, just afraid to hurt him. I just want to convince her and try one more time. Then I'll give up. I already lost a lot of diginity by chasing her this far

You should leave her alone, she has a boyfriend. Whether you think she is happy is immaterial. If and when she is ready to be with you, she will break up with her college boy friend. Until then leave her alone. How would you like it if someone was trying to get your girl?
You are trying to take something that belongs to someone else. Stop trying to justify it.

Advice:
Go back and re-read the whole thread and try to let the advice sink in.


She has a boyfriend=off limits.

honestly, ive only dated like one person before.

but cheating is not in our minds, im sorry. thanks for the help though!

anyone else care to help me out?
Should I talk to her? like say just hi or something?
I dont want to give up. I never told her how i truly feel..

I believe that every one has given you good advice! That advice was to leave her alone and that she has a boyfriend, so off limits!

So what I suggest, is that you take that good advice and run with it.

Also keep in mind, if she's doing it to her current boyfriend, she will most likely do it with you.

How would that make you feel?

But I want to tell her how I truly feel.
I want to tell her to break up with him, and how I think things can work out with us and stuff
I just hear things from other people that their relationship isn't as strong as it was before.

And like I said, when he was here, she still saw me lots.
And she said if I asked her out she'd say yes.
She just seems stuck in her relationship, just afraid to hurt him. I just want to convince her and try one more time. Then I'll give up. I already lost a lot of dignity by chasing her this far

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/high-school/girl-boyfriend-likes-me-449911.html

From your other thread Feb. 28th.

Anyway
I cuddled with her,
She said she felt guilty about it, and started to not talk to me.
Then she started to talk to me again, even more, then
I was with her this weekend, and we hugged a lot, and held hands with each other and stuff.
And she told me that she feels bad that she might be leading me on, and that i deserve someone who can fully commit, and i said i don't want anything more than this friendship.
What do I do now?
From your current post April 2nd
.
I asked her who'd she rather be with right now, and after half an hour of saying she can't choose and such, she said right now she'd be with him, although she likes us the same, that history means so much to her.
So I said OK well we shouldn't be just friends since I will not be able to resist flirting with you, we should stop talking until I get over you. she said she wouldn't talk to me until i talked to her. I said she could if it was really important and that i was here for her.I haven't talked to her for five days. We go back to school next Monday

So after not getting the answers you wanted, you started this thread, and against any advice we have given you, you're not ready to quit, and even after she has told you nothing but friends, you still want to talk to her again. By rights you should at least keep your own word to not talk to her until you're over her.

But since you won't listen to her, us, or yourself,
Go for it dude. Let us know how it works out. Now you have permission to be a fool, and get rid of the rest of your dignity, and self respect.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/high-school/girl-boyfriend-likes-me-449911.html

From your other thread Feb. 28th.

From your current post April 2nd
.

So after not getting the answers you wanted, you started this thread, and against any advice we have given you, you're not ready to quit, and even after she has told you nothing but friends, you still want to talk to her again. By rights you should at least keep your own word to not talk to her until you're over her.

But since you wont listen to her, us, or yourself,
Go for it dude. Let us know how it works out. Now you have permission to be a fool, and get rid of the rest of your dignity, and self respect.

Lol Very witty! I love it! I would have given you a green, but I have to spread more love...

He doesn't want to listen to any of us, therefore he will ultimately end up hurting himself in the end! So be it!

You want this girl and are trying to justify continuing to go after her even after she has told you she only want to be friends.

I'm not understanding why some are blaming her and making her out to be a no good person. I think she is confused, but she still chooses to stay with her boyfriend.

You however care not that she has a boyfriend and will not leave him. You want what you want and that is selfish.
If you care about this girl, leave her alone and let her make a decision without your input. And if she decides to stay with this guy then that's the way it is.
It's time to take a big boy pill and leave this girl alone.

Please go back to the beginning of your post and re-read it all very carefully. Really think about what everyone is telling you, because the advice tells you exactly what you need to do.

I know it's not what you want to hear, but unless you can be happy simply being her guy on the side, you just can't win.

You know what? You guys are right. Thanks.

But some people told me girls like to be chased, and I thought that this last chase might get her.
I think I might forever regret not telling her how I truly feel, that's what's going to bother me. I think I'll wait longer. Like 2 more weeks. I'll try to get over her, maybe see if she talks to me. If not, and I still feel the same way, then I can tell her. Is that OK?

I believe you are being played for a fool
You are there to comfort her when her man is away she is telling you these sweet nothings to keep you around please think about this and don't get hurt hun

So if I see her around school should I completely ignore her?
We see each other a lot

You know what? you guys are right. Thanks.

But some people told me girls like to be chased, and i thought that this last chase might get her.
I think I might forever regret not telling her how I truly feel, that's whats gonna bother me. I think I'll wait longer. Like 2 more weeks. I'll try to get over her, maybe see if she talks to me. If not, and I still feel the same way, then i can tell her. Is that ok?

You are missing the point. This girl has a boyfriend and you are bound and determined to step in to that territory. Leave her alone. If she wanted to leave her boy friend she would.
You have no right to tell her how you feel. That is out of line. Leave the girl alone.

OK. Thanks everyone. I will stop interfering, and like talanmian said, I will get over her, and then try to be friends.
And How do I give rep points? Hahahaa

But The question is, do I ignore her at school or what?

I agree with Homegirl 50's observation that she might be confused. What she is doing right now is wrong - it's both physical AND emotional cheating, and you should be wondering whether she will pull the same thing on you if you were together. However, due to lack of experience and lack of maturity, she is indecisive and trying to hold onto the best of both worlds. This doesn't make it right, in any way, shape or form, but my point is that when people engage in behaviour like this, it's not necessarily a character flaw fueled by malice, there is hope.

While what she is doing to both of you is terrible, I do hold an optimistic view that when she figures out what she really wants in a relationship, that whoever she ends up with shouldn't necessarily have to fear that she will pull this kind of thing on them, too. People make a lot of mistakes in terms of their actions when they are young, but experience is an excellent teacher.

But I have to say that I disagree with Homegirl 50 a bit on telling her how you feel; I think you have every right to express to this girl how you feel, but you just have to be prepared to deal with rejection. You do deserve a straight answer, and maybe a clear "no" is what you need in order to move on.

When you see her at school, and choose NOT to tell her how you feel, just continue to treat her as you would any regular friend, which means no flirting and no physical contact. You don't have to ignore her as long as you are clear in your head as to what's going on and remind yourself not to have false hope. Good luck.

OK. Thanks everyone. I will stop interfering, and like talanmian said, I will get over her, and then try to be friends.
and How do I give rep points? hahahaa

But The question is, do I ignore her at school or what?

You don't have to be mean to her and completely ignore her... If you two make eye contact and she happens to say hi, say hi back. I just wouldn't go out of my way to make conversation. If you two are in passing and happen to see one another, you still can say hello. I see no harm in that. That only! See what I'm saying?

Omg mixed advice now.cyberstar is giving good advice. I agree with him a lot.

But so did Talanmian.

And OK about the ignoring thing.


I'm just at a loss now. Tell her. Or not tell her and just get over it.

The second option gives me no chance to be with her right now.
First one shows I care, and Could give me a chance.


She just seems extremely stuck to him, I don't know how to convince her that she shouldn't be. She cares too much about not hurting him.

Just me, I would be friendly but unavailable for any chit chat, if you see her, but I wouldn't go out of my way to talk to her. She knows how you feel, and knows what you want, but she has said very clearly, its friends only, so you must give yourself time to get over it, because she doesn't care if your suffering, or not, so just keep your own word, and don't talk to her until your better able to be a friend, and nothing more.

You're a real sucker for her passive/aggressive, whatever you want BS!! It keeps her innocent, and you looking foolish. She may not be a slut, but she sure knows how to use what she has to get what she wants. Listen guy she knows full well what your going through, and instead of caring she strings you along as a semi boyfriend, because she knows you're attracted, and want someone but have no one but her to hangout with. She knows your nose is open, and instead of telling you to back off (well she did say friends only) she lets you have false hope and keep trying.

Man up, and keep your own word!! Remember this?


So I said OK well we shouldn't be just friends since I will not be able to resist flirting with you, we should stop talking until I get over you. she said she wouldn't talk to me until i talked to her. I said she could if it was really important and that I was here for her.I haven't talked to her for five days. We go back to school next Monday

Say what you mean, and mean what you say!

Thanks talaniman

But she's only in high school. Its her first relation ship, and I know she's not experienced at all.

I can feel she likes me more than him, she's just stuck to him. She can't get enough courage to let him go.

And she does care if I'm suffering. We were so close, we told each other everything, and we were like best friends. She isn't the type of person that would consciously use someone.
And she never really did say friends only. Where do you get that from?

And if she does talk to me while I'm getting over her, does that mean something?

QUOTE BY whatisthis3,
Thanks talaniman, but she's only in high school. Its her first relation ship, and I know she's not experienced at all.
Oh please, that doesn't mean she isn't savvy in the way of men, nor that she doesn't know what she is doing. You underestimate her for sure.

I can feel she likes me more than him, she's just stuck to him. She can't get enough courage to let him go.
That what you think, but have no facts to back that up.

and she does care if I'm suffering. We were so close, we told each other everything, and we were like best friends. She isn't the type of person that would consciously use someone.
And she never really did say friends only. Where do you get that from?
"She likes me as well, she told me.
but she said she doesnt want anyone to get hurt me or him, and that our friendship is above everything else
and i told her im patient, and she should focus on her current relation ship."

"she told me that she feels bad that she might be leading me on, and that i deserve someone who can fully commit, and i said i don't want anything more than this friendship.
What do I do now?" Your word,not mine.

and if she does talk to me while I'm getting over her, does that mean something?
It means it will take you longer to get over her because you will always think you have a chance of changing her mind, and dumping her guy, for you. You can't be a friend when you have a hidden agenda, that's not friends.

K so my friend whose friends with her
Keeps telling me to tell her how I feel.
My friend is pretty close with her, and she knows lots.
I ask my friend if I have a chance, and she always gives me mixed answers, like yes/no and I don't know, its just confusing me.
My friend just tells me I need to talk to her in person

And its not like she wants to be friends.
She just thinks and tells me its all we could be right now since she has a boyfriend. She likes me.. she told me. Isn't that enough to say that she likes me more than him? But is just afraid to break up with him

No, what that means is she likes you as a friend but she likes her relationship with her boy friend more.
You are wanting something that is not yours. If she wanted you instead of him she would leave him. You want a possible chance with her? Leave her alone and move on with your life, maybe you two will hook up at a later time, but for now she is with someone else.

I remember when I was in high school having a lot of girls as good friends who already had boyfriends. Nothing unusual about it!

All right OK update

I did talk to her. Went well, I convinced her. Some of my other friends did too, and she now planned to break up with him.
One week before today, we talk, and she tells me that she doesn't want a relationship the next year, and doesn't want to hurt all over again since its just hs, she's looking to be single. But she's also like interested in relationships without the title, like everything without the term, and she said she'd try that with me to.
(Like I know she didn't say this just so she won't have to have a relationship with me. She said this because one of our mutual friends is in kind of a friends/bene relationship, But it's a little more, like they have feelings for eachother(a relationship with no titles). And he like told her about his philosophy, and in effect, she now agrees with him after one week of thinking, that relationships in hs = bad and not going to work out and just messy.)
She said we have a lot of potential, and she doesn't want to waste it just now, if it was meant to be, it would happen.

Yesterday, we talk again, I tell her that I currently am looking for a relationship with titles, but that I'm OK with what she wants too, that I'd just go with the flow, that if she broke up with him, we'd just be friends until she got over him, and if we still had feelings for eachohter, we'd start talking after. If we didn't have feelings, we'd stay friends.
we promised to tell the other person if one person loses his or her feelings for the other any time along the way.and I said and If we did start talking after, we can decide then if we want a relationship or not. If we want completely different things then, we'd just be friends again. She agreed. She also said first relationships don't work out very well( since it would be my first, I guess cause the one before wasn't really a relationship.. ) and that she said I should have more experience
I said would she be jealous if I saw someone else, and she said well yeah I wouldn't think any girl would be good enough for you. And she said don't think its personal if I don't talk to you for the next few days cause she needed to think about some stuff,I responded the same. (In effect we distanced our selves).. for a couple hours causeee

Last night, same day, she called me, crying saying she broke up with him. I tried comforting her, saying its OK, she kind of got mad. And I was supposed to go over to her house tommorow(today) and I asked on the phone if she wants me there to comfort her, she just said is that all you care about. And she said she'd talk to me tommorow(today), and hung up. Still hasn't contacted me, I don't expect her too
What do I do

Leave the girl alone like you should have done in the first place.
We all told you that, but you were bound and determined to have her break up with that guy.
Now you are the heavy to her. You should have left her alone.

Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, she will call again. Don't try to be her friend now, that's what girlfriends are for, unless you want to be in the same category as them.

I hope you understand now that if she talks to you, you are a rebound to her, she is talking to you just to get over her hurt, that you and your friends help cause by the way.
You were being selfish, looking out for what you wanted, not concerned about her at all. It will dawn on her or one of your friends will tell her how you wanted her to break up with her boyfriend so you could have a chance.
How do you think she will feel about that?

no. She told me it wasn't me. She told me that don't think I broke up with him for you, it was for myself.
And I said OK.

Talaniman, so when she calls back, what do I do?

And I edited the post, could you guys re read it?

You are now in friend zone, which is what she told you in the first place.
So be a friend

Why am I in the friend zone? She told me she still likes me.
Like she is just extremely hurt because she broke up with him when he did nothing wrong. She broke up with him because she lost feelings for him, and couldn't deal with long term anymore, and just wanted to have a burden of her shoulders, she thought about breaking up with him before I came along

She may like you, but she may only want to be friends with you.
Leave her alone until she wants to talk to you.

Depending on what she says, you'll know whether she wants you as a boy friend or just a friend.
Getting another boyfriend after a break up is a big mistake.

You know what they end up calling friends with benefits??

The Plaintiff.


Start growing up and make better choices.

Califdadof3 I don't get it.
And homegirl OK. Well, I understand that If she tries to rebound with me, I will make sure that she is over him. I will wait, and I will see it.
Also, like one week before this, the time when that new philosophy dawned on her,
I asked her if she still felt strongly about me as before, she said she does, but maybe not as much since I told one of her friends about us, and it made her really mad, and I just apologized she said it was OK.

But what does the friend or boyfriend thing depend on? Like if she says something? What's the something? Key things

If she decides she wants to date you, that would be a no no. She is still fresh from a break up and that is not a good time to get involved with anyone until you are over the person.

Yeah we agreed that if we wanted to start talking to each other like actual liking each other and showing it, shed get over him first.


Do I have a chance? Or am I LJBF zoned.

I don't know. It depends on how much she liked you and how she liked you from the beginning.
It depends on if there was also someone else in the picture.

Well I think a lot, but that's just me. Like I know she cares about me a lot. Cause she always said she liked me and her ex the same. And she did break up with him yesterday. And they were going out for nearly two years.
What do you mean by someone else?

She could have been liking someone else too, just like she was liking you. She could have been flirting with someone else.
Or someone else can come along. She is free now for the first time in two years, she may want to hold on to that freedom.

Try reading this thread, it might give you some insight: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/guidlines-what-do-do-if-person-like-already-relationship-463250.html

Things aren't looking so great unfortunately.

If she broke up with her boyfriend to be with you, who knows how easy it will be to break up with you to be with someone else. How can you ever trust her completely?

Or else, this might all be going in your mind and she does not have any interest in you. She just sees you as as really good friend. So you're setting yourself up for disappointment.

If she does get together with you, she's most likely on the rebound and that's not fair to you. What happens when she's done rebounding?

But there's always that outside chance that this might all work out.

The question is, are you willing to take that risk?

Thanks I wish.

She does have interest, cause she told me.
So She did call me yesterday. But she just talked to me like we were good friends, mentioned nothing about breaking up. Today at school as well, just normal. How long should I keep it normal till? Till she talks to me about relationship stuff?

She flirts too. But I don't know, I try not too but sometimes I do.

Hi. I was kind of in the same situation as you except the girl didn't actually say she liked me but was flirting a lot. I think that I Wish got it right there. I'll repeat the question. "Are you willing to take the risk?" It's up to you bro, I hope you can make the right the decision and that everything works for you. Cya :)

If you've already told her how you feel, then the ball is on her side of the court. It's up to her if she wants something to happen and it's up to her to bring it up. You don't need to bring it up again.

I am just going to tell you straight, if she could go behind his back she can go behind yours. Just think of what she told you, she likes you both the same, so you can get the same as he got, dumped for another.

How do you even trust her?

She said she likes you, there are probably a couple of other guys she likes, maybe flirts with, but that does not mean she wants to date you. If she did she would have let you know when she broke up with her boyfriend. But she did tell you she did not want to talk to you for a while. You are not next in line for boy friend.
I told you before I think you have read more into things than are there. You are in the friend zone. She is free for the first time in a couple of years and she is not going to date anyone else right away. She is going to enjoy her freedom and flirt to her hearts content.

Ok so now. Mm she tell me she likes me a lot. Like a lot a lot. She said that she told her exboyfriend that when he comes down, they'd talk it through finally, but she let me know that she was planning to break up with him.
I went to her house the other day, and sparks flew, so we kissed. At first we were confused, maybe that it was too soon.. but we continued to and it got better and better and made out for a couple hours. By the way this was our first.
And she kept promising me that she'd now end things with him for sure
But today, I told her that we should wait for our next kiss until she's not as emotionally involved with him as much anymore so its more special. And she agreed, that we'll wait until she's over the guy. And I asked what happens after she is, and she said we just take steps from there.

So I'm wondering if what I did is right? And what your take on this is? Because I know she likes me a lot, she kept telling me that, and asked if I liked her. And she tells me she misses me a lot.

If she does break up with him,she needs to heal and get over him before starting a new relationship.

Jumping straight into a new relationship is most likely not going to work.

You would be a rebound.

Plus you know that she is,at least emotionally capable of cheating on a boyfriend,so how do you know that you,in case you do get together,could trust her?

That's why she says she's planning not to get into a relationship for the rest of senior year

I don't doubt that she likes you, but I don't think she is in a hurry to have a boy friend yet.
I also thinks she like to flirt. She likes you enough to make out with you, but she does not want to date. She may have others she's flirting with as well.
I would not put too much stock in her.

Yeah she said part of the reason she broke up with him was cause of me.
She also doesn't want to date cause part of the reason is that itd hurt him so much if he saw she got into a relationship this year after they broke up

He is still on her mind and in her heart, so you leave her alone until she comes to you.
But don't be hurt if she doesn't

that's why she says she's planning not to get into a relationship for the rest of senior year
So now she isn't cheating on him, and is free to make out with you, or anyone else until he shows up this summer. Sweet deal. For her at least. And anything that goes wrong will be your fault.

Well she said she promised to break up with him

She also promised no relationship for senior year. So you got making out, and dating but no title. You okay with that?

Yeah kind of. Is that bad, what usually results

Hopefully college. That's a deal changer, especially if she goes away, unless someone changes their mind before then.

Like college brings you together? Or apart

Mostly apart, sorry, but you never know. Why you going to college too?

Yeah. So what's your whole take on the situation? If you don't mind me asking

I think she will probably mess around with you for a while but she won't formally date you. She will go off to college and then it's good bye, that is if it's not good bye before then

Ehh yeah I don't think it'd be too serious I hope. Its more of a go with the flow thing.
But for now

We talk a lot a lot. Like 24 7. and we flirt, but it's a lot of me flirting, and she flirts back, she doesn't really initiate it a lot. Am I doing something wrong

You have not listened to what she said anymore than you've listened to the advice given here.
She does not want a relationship and I don't think she is as into you as you are to her.

I had to spread the rep Homegirl, that's exactly how I see it. She is just going with the flow for now and has a plan of her own that doesn't include him in it.

Maybe that's not a bad thing, but you, Whatisthis3, have a deeper interest in her than she for you. She wants to have fun, with no strings attached and loves your attention, but I hardly think its love, or will grow to that, given your ages, and circumstances. Let me be clear, she has skills and you have fallen for them, so don't get carried away when she feeds your ego.

You have done nothing wrong but followed your heart, while ignoring the facts. You may feel strongly, but that doesn't mean she feels the same way and she has told you that. But you have persisted, and now here we are, with you thinking she will, or does have feelings for you, not as strong and hopeful as yours, but feelings nonetheless.

But, as always happens reality will crush you with the truth, she will move on, as she gets over her break up, and you lose a great date, and make out buddy.

Keep it real, and pay attention closer to what she says, and know that its high hopes of more, that have you waiting for something that may NOT happen. You can enjoy the time, but will be empty when its over, and think she is leading you on, but she isn't. You are allowing yourself to be led.

She now tells me part of the reason they broke up was cause of me

And that means what exactly to you??

That I'm not a rebound

You're not a boyfriend either, you're a make out buddy, and occasional date.

What's plaintiff?
You are right. How do I make her want to be boyfriend/girlfriend?
Cause right now I feel like I'm doing a lot of the chasing. How do I play hard to get? Any rules?

She has controlled this whole thing from the get go, and you should have stop chasing a long time ago. Now she has what she wants her freedom, and you to fool around with whenever she wants which is better than the long distance stuff she had before.

Even the guilt trip of "she broke up because of you" that she laid on you was nothing but making sure you would keep coming back to chase her some more.

And yes you would be a rebound and NO, you stop chasing she gets mad, and replaces you. She is single and free. How do I know this? Simply because if she broke up because of you then she would be with you, she isn't. She also told you she would not get in another relationship until AFTER senior year, and your juniors.

Do the math, that means never for you dude. Now you want to change her mind from her grand plan, and run your own. Frankly, its to late. No there are no rules to manipulate someone's thinking and live happily ever after, or even to have a title to go with the kissy face stuff you get from time to time.

Now that's the truth as I know it, and can predict any strategy you come up with will drive her away to someone who does it her way, and I doubt its you.

I doubt you can leave her alone now ant ways because you have chased this far when you should have quit long ago, but you can be honest and tell her what YOU want and see what she says but be prepared for a lot of anger and emotion, but at least you will be dealing with reality, and not the false hope that you have now.

You may get lucky, or you may get replaced, since she really can't dump you, just reject your idea of what will happen next.

You want a rule? Here are a few!

Talaniman Rule- Never ever mess with any one who has just dumped their partner

Talaniman Rules-Never assume that your feelings are shared by any one else.

Talaniman Rule - Never ever get to close to a person that has a committed partner in their lives.

Talaniman Rule #1- Never ever get involved with a committed person, ever never!!!!!!

Talaniman Rule- never be in a hurry to give your heart to a stranger. Wait until they have proven they deserve it, and know what to do with it.

Talaniman Rule- Doesn't matter how intense the feelings, or how much fun you have, never give your heart to someone you don't know well, and thats only after the lust has worn off for you both.

Talaniman Rule- leave girls with boyfriends alone, and don't hold your breathe waiting for them to fail.

Talaniman Rule- If one female isn't available, there are millions that are. Don't get stuck on one who is BUSY with other things.

Talaniman Rule- Get your own girlfriend and leave the other guys alone.

Talaniman Rule - Don't miss other opportunities and options because your stuck on someone who is not as stuck on you, thats just plain crazy.

Talaniman Rule- Don't play games with your heart, and don't let somebody else play games with it either.

As you can see you have already broken a lot of rules, and it doesn't look good, so try some straight honesty, or keep playing kissy face, as long as she lets you. Actually I think she is using you not for a rebound, but as an emotional tampon to get over the ex.

you want a rule? Here are a few!

Talaniman Rule- Never ever mess with any one who has just dumped their partner

Talaniman Rules-Never assume that your feelings are shared by any one else.

Talaniman Rule - Never ever get to close to a person that has a committed partner in their lives.

Talaniman Rule #1- Never ever get involved with a committed person, ever never!!!!!!

Talaniman Rule- never be in a hurry to give your heart to a stranger. Wait until they have proven they deserve it, and know what to do with it.

Talaniman Rule- Doesn't matter how intense the feelings, or how much fun you have, never give your heart to someone you don't know well, and thats only after the lust has worn off for you both.

Talaniman Rule- leave girls with boyfriends alone, and don't hold your breathe waiting for them to fail.

Talaniman Rule- If one female isn't available, there are millions that are. Don't get stuck on one who is BUSY with other things.

Talaniman Rule- Get your own girlfriend and leave the other guys alone.

Talaniman Rule - Don't miss other opportunities and options because your stuck on someone who is not as stuck on you, thats just plain crazy.

Talaniman Rule- Don't play games with your heart, and don't let somebody else play games with it either.

As you can see you have already broken a lot of rules, and it doesn't look good, so try some straight honesty, or keep playing kissy face, as long as she lets you. Actually I think she is using you not for a rebound, but as an emotional tampon to get over the ex.

If this isn't a sticky then it should be. Its great advice for anyone seeking to start or even end a relationship. It shows what to expect from both sides of the mirror.

She wanted to study yesterday,
We did, we made out once again for 2-3 hours, and we touched each other, a lot, I fondled her breasts

Anyway. After, she said we should study today too
And I was like OK sure

Then today, she said oh maybe we shouldn't study with each other, we need to concentrate, I guess I kind of got mad. She was acting kind of different, and I asked her if she was OK, she said she was fine, and I said if she was sure, and this bothered her, she said That she hates having to explain her self to someone, and she's feeling like she needs to explain herself to me, I said she doesn't have to and she said "if I say im ok, Im fine". I said OK sorry I kept asking, and she said OK ill ttyl

I was totally kept in check. I need the power back. And I know she likes me a lot, I;ve just been to available to her. If I started backing off, she'd try hard to get me back. But at the moment, what should I do?
I am going to be burnt by the next posts, I can feel it

She is totally setting you up to be a toy that she will play with when she wants and under her terms and you are foolishly playing right into her hands. She likes you, she only likes you, you are a toy a distraction and you can be ruled.
Grow a pair dude. She is not the only girl in the world and you definitely are not the only boy for her.
She got rid of that long time boy friend (after she cheated) so she can play and she is playing with you.


whats plantiff?
you are right. how do i make her wanna be boyfriend/girlfriend?
Cause right now I feel like i'm doing a lot of the chasing. How do I play hard to get? any rules?
She does not want you as a boy friend. She only wants to play.
You are not going to get what you want with her. Wake up and pay attention dude!

So how do I make her want me as a boyfriend? Like
You need to think about it.
She won't get into one anytime soon, since she doesn't want to seem like a girl whod get over someone in amonth and date someone else again

What can I change?

I have to ask; What is so special about this girl that you can't even see straight?

I liked Tmans last rule the best: Don't play games with your heart and don't let anybody else play games with it either...

That's exactly what's going on here. You are making yourself way too available for her!

She is calling all of the shots! You need to slow down or perhps come to a screeching halt!

I can see, well we all can, that you really like this girl. However, she cheated and just broke up with this guy. Take a step back and re-think this situation; you could be that next guy that she does that too. Does that make sense?

Unfortunately, you can't force someone to have the same feelings for you. If you have feelings for her, then let her know how you feel. If she's interested, she will let you know.

Even if she's not ready to be your girlfriend, but interested in getting to know you better, she will give you an indication.

If she doesn't show you any of these signs, then she doesn't like you more than a friend. Take silence as a rejection.

Furthermore, her friendliness can easily be mistaken for something more. So watch out for that.

Bottom line, if she had feelings for you, she would let you know.

so how do i make her want me as a boyfriend? Like
you need to think about it.
She wont get into one anytime soon, since she doesn't want to seem like a girl who get over someone in a month and date someone else again

what can I change?
You cannot make someone want you. She either wants you as a boyfriend or she doesn't.
She is making out with you but she does not want to seem like a girl who'd get over someone in a month. What is she doing then? What will she do when she is over him?

This girl is free to play around and that's what she is doing with you. If she really wanted you as a boyfriend you would be her boyfriend. The fact that she is giving you the run around should tell you something. She is messing around with you but she's not serious about you. She does not like you the way you like her. It's really pretty obvious.

We are in a weird relationship. We are 17
We are talking, and like each other a lot, we just don't want to get in to a relationship due to the complications that could arise.
We make out and kiss each other too
We are not exclusive, nor have determined any kind of rules

She recently told me not to get bothered if she says someone else is cute, and that we should feel no attachment towards each other, I felt the same way.
She told me she thinks this other guy is cute, cause they've recently started talking a lot.
And it seems like she's playing hard to get with me

The thing is, how do I act so she can just go back to liking me and only me?
Like perhaps go into a exclusive relationship

What happened to her boyfriend?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/girl-boyfriend-likes-me-462072-10.html

She is in the process of getting over him. When he visits, she is going to end things with him completely, because she has been giving him a little false hope lately

It seems like this girl is putting you through way more trouble than she is worth... After all this you *really* still want to be with her? Come on, you deserve better than that, no one is worth this much trouble. And after all this, if she doesn't want to be exclusive, then I think she's playing you, she using you for her own gain and then just throwing you away when she doesn't need you again. But like a foolish little puppy, you keep going back to her, and she knows that. She has you in the palm of her hand and she is loving every minute of it.

Mm so I should see someone else!

Ok, so I guess we're in a non-exclusive relationship.
Like I'm starting to feel that way too, I want to meet other girls. I guess that's good right? It'd be nice to have her exclusively, but for now, I'm content with where I am. I get the physical aspects of a relationship, with no strings or other messy stuff, with the freedom to meet new girls! This is pretty good actually.

But I still do get jealous if she might like another guy.. which I guess is kind of normal, but is not good for an nonexclusive thing. But I'm starting to accept that fact more and more as time goes on, after all, I could like any girl I wanted too.
And maybe after a while, she'll want to be exclusive with me. If it all fails, okay there's more people.
I really appreciate everyone's help! I may be posting more often..

You say in one breath how you want to meet other girls, but then talk of jealousy if she does.

That should give you some insights in this nonexclusive relationship. That means protect yourself, and don't get so deep you can't get out.

Sounds like friends with a few benefits, or kissy, touchy feely, with no strings attached, make out buddies.

Its fun if you accept it and don't expect more, but things are never that simple just because I suspect she would be rather possessive of you. Doesn't mean love mind you, but jealousy can make one possessive. Same goes for you.

See, so if she does become possessive of me, she would want to be exclusive wouldn't she?

But she is starting to talk a lot with this one other guy..

See, so if she does become possessive of me, she would want to be exclusive wouldn't she?

but she is starting to talk a lot with this one other guy..

No it means she does not want you to play with anyone but her. In a word, selfish.
You are one of her toys.
If I were you, I'd leave her completely alone and date someone who does not play games.

Originally Posted by whatisthis3
See, so if she does become possessive of me, she would want to be exclusive wouldn't she?

But she is starting to talk a lot with this one other guy..

No! She just doesn't want any one else playing with her toys, and if she is talking to another guy, haven't you seen that pattern of behavior before?? Sure you have, that other guy was YOU, not too long ago!!

But this time, she doesn't have to dump you, just be less available.

Wait me be less available, or her be less available?

wait me be less available, or her be less available?

You.

You are making this way too easy for her and she is has control of this whole situation.

Keep your distance!

She is toying with you. She has no intention of dating you. She wants to play the field before she goes to college and you are one of her play things.

I don't get it.
Is she playing games with me?
I tried flirting with her, and she played hard to get or something, and my flirting didn't work, she just gave me bad responses.
And the day before that, she asked phone tonight? And I said nah I'm too tired, and she was like haha okay! And I was like k Ill see you tomorrow, and she said night :)

Like Idk. It seems like she's not getting affected by my playing games. I think I;m going to distance myself from her.. and see if she chases me. If she doesn't I know she wasn't worth it.

And yesterday, I was like lets quiz each other later, (like on the phone) and she was like haha OK but I need to really cram! Ttyl!

And she never texted me or called me. Is she playing games? If she is how do I win.

She has gotten a new toy.
Leave her alone. Don't beg for attention.

Yeah so I talked to her, told her everything about how I lied and wanted to be exclusive, I gave up kind of

And She said lets just be friends
I agreed.
But I'm planning on doing no contact. She expects us to be friends soon, since we wanted no emotional attachment just so we wouldn't lose our friendship. But I don't know, like I'd want to be friends too, but it seems like I'd just give her what she wants.

She wants friends with benefits but only on her terms.
The best thing for you to do is to leave her alone entirely.

What if she comes to me and tells me she misses me

Tell her it is nice to be missed.
Don't worry about what her next move will be, or her liking you.
We all told you before what this girl was about and you were just determined that she wanted to be with you.

She may call you if she has no one else to play with. You do what you need to do for you, don't worry about her.
Leave her alone or you are going to end up hurt.

Thanks homegirl for being with me on this whole thing, you helped me a lot.

If we ever do start talking again, I will make sure she's not set on having no relationships

You're welcomed.
I think this girl will probably tell you what she thinks you want to hear to keep you in her clutches. I think she is a waste of time!
I'm sure there are plenty of nice girls out there that don't have so much drama attached to them.

When she told me I was like asking her if we could start being friends right away, maybe even bestfriends
But I still haven't talked to her, and I plan on not doing so until it doesn't hurt when I think about her being with someone else.

But it does still, how does one get over that

There is no pat answer, it takes time.
You take one day at a time, get out and do things with your friends. You will find that you think less of her each day.

Homegirl 50, I reread all your posts.
You are a genius.
Almost every single post, especially on pages 6-8 all are and came true.
I want to give you 100 rep points.

I'm glad I could help you young man.
You are going to be just fine.
Have a great week. OK

One point will be just fine :)

It's so hard dealing with the fact that she's starting to like someone else. Already. Is he a rebound? Or does she truly like this guy?

I mean, if she just said lets just be friends, I'd be so OK right now. But the fact that she's already getting to know someone else, so quickly, really bothers me. I guess it's jealousy and frustration, but I don't really know how to deal with it. Like I talked to this guy last week, just to see what was up, and I kind of implied for him to back off, and he said he would try his best, but I don't really think he did. And it really does kind of get to me.

Would you be saying "she's starting to like someone else. Already. Is he a rebound? or does she truly like this guy?" if it was you she was seeing? Probably not.

I don't think she liked you as much as you like her from the beginning, she was flirting and playing around with you, but she was cheating on her boyfriend. Now she can flirt and mess around with anyone she wants and she does not have to worry about cheating.

She wants to play the field, or she may have been playing around with this guy while she was playing with you and she likes him.
Who knows but now you see she didn't leave him for you, she left him because she wanted her freedom.

Don't let him or her get to you. He can date her, she is a free girl and she is not worth your getting upset over.
You'll be OK. One day you will look back on this and say "man I can believe I let that girl get to me like that"

Ive really progressed,
I don't feel nearly as attracted to her anymore, its just when I see her with that new guy, who is kind of my friend

Haa. So the friend told me that she told him that she missed talking to me, and she said that I think she likes him. She said that too him.

Also, she texted me, I kind of put her aside. She asked if we were OK, I said yeah, she said she feels awkward, I said its prob just you, and she said OK, I said bye. She also said she missed talking to me, and I ignored that part of the text..

She keeps trying to talk to me in school, I give lame answers.


I think she might think I'm mad that she talks to the new guy, which is not the case. I don't want her to think that. I just want her to think I'm pretty much over this whole thing

Good boy! You are getting better. I'm proud of you.
You are going to be just fine.
I expect you to check in one day and your life is great.

Ahha OK. But does it seem as though she might like the guy? She said It'd be awkward to go somewhere later
He said why
She said cause he(me) thinks I like you
He said ohh I see.
(cause I was going to be there)
Does she like him?
They do talk to each other everyday haha I feel like I've been replaced!
But I don't really care, there's so many girls out there.
It'd be nice to have that friendship back, but for now I want her to miss me

She may like the boy but what does it matter? Stop thinking about it. Stop worrying rather she misses you or not.
Thinking this way only slows down your progress.

Having been in the other guys shoes, you know how it feels. So forget her and walk away. You have put enough time, effort, thought, and energy into her. Enough, is enough.