I don't even know what I should write here because everything has gotten so overwhelming but I will type as I go.

My boyfriend and I broke up in Dec. He was my first real relationship and also my first sexual partner. In the beginning everything was perfect and he understood that I was new to this and he would be cooperative. I wasn't his first and I was OK with that. After a few months a long the line, we would have arguments often and it was because he is not very communicative. He would let me think whatever I want and was hardly there to clear out any misunderstandings, he basically changed and didn't keep his word. I would always have to chase him for answers and it would come to the point where I would come off as being "annoying" and he got mad about that. The thing is even in the midst of the relationship, he would want to end things and I would really have to beg and plead for him not to and he would give in. Then something else would happen and the cycle would continue.

It was his birthday in Dec so I took him out after work (this was while we were together). I took him out for dinner, then desert then gave him his present which was $350, and a cologne set. He said it was too much but I refused to take anything back and we agreed that we would go shopping with that money and we did. Two days later we went to the mall and he got himself clothes and stuff. Now here is where the downfall started. After another 5 6 days, I approached him with a question through bbming. I'm not sure if you guys are sure what that is but its basically a way to text if both parties have blackberries. I was on his fb at that time there was this girl that would always comment on his wall and he even told me about her briefly but I noticed how she would change her display picture with them two together but she would crop him out but you can still see some of his body parts so I asked him when he hangs out with her for them to take pics because for the most part he was always honest with me and told me where he was going and kept me up to date. He never lied to me. The only problems we would have were communication problems because he would just take me off bbm or even at times put me on block from texting and calling him. I would get desperate when he wouldn't answer my texts or anything so I would go crazy texting and calling-yes I know not a good thing. Well when I asked him it became a big thing and he was like it's not a big deal and that I shouldn't ask him stuff like that because he doesn't and I made it clear to him that I don't give him a chance to think anything of that sort and that I was always straight forward to him and I had nothing to hide. He met all my friends-my 3 best friends but I never met any of his. I knew about them and supposively they knew about me but I was never formally introduced to them which is another thing that bothered me in the relationship but to him it wasn't a big deal. For the most part it was always what he wanted and I was the one always chasing him. Well he took me off fb and said it was causing problems. It bothered me a lot because it wasn't even like I was accusing him of anything, I happen to be very open minded and I always told him that it was OK if he had a lot of female friends and if he hung out with them just as long as I know and I would do the same with him and he respected that in the beginning.

Well he broke up and again I begged and chased after him a lot. I always blew up his phone and at times he would just put me on block that way he wouldn't have to deal with it and again I would have to beg and chase him. He told me he wanted to "be free as a bird" as if I was holding him down from doing anything. I never put any restrictions on him and I never stopped him from doing anything but he never understood me and always took me the wrong way but because I really loved him, I tolerated his behavior. Well on the first of Jan we met. It was New Year's Eve the night before so he went out with his friends. We weren't together at this time. Another thing I'd like to mention is that I made this fake fb and added some of his friends and I would pretty much "stalk" him. Yes I know its not a good thing and I am wrong for doing so but I've been restricting myself. We met up and we out for dinner. He told me what he did the night before, and when I asked him he told me who he went with and of course he only named all his guy friends. I knew that girl would be there also but he didn't mention her name. So after dinner we went over his house and even though we shouldn't have, we slept together. I ended up coming home and the next day he was going back home. I came home and I felt stupid. I didn't feel good about myself for sleeping with him without us being together but I thought maybe he would change his mind so I confronted him again via texting. We hardly talked on the phone because he stopped calling. I asked him if we were together and he gave me vague answers like yes I would like to. Then before his flight I asked him if we were together and he said he didn't want to rush into things. This was the day after. Again I felt stupid because I saw the New Year pics on his friends fb and that girl was there. They took some pics together that I wasn't really fond of but I didn't say anything. He said he loved me and that he would call me after he got there. Well he called me after he got there and I asked him again what he wanted and he was like well I told you and I'm like ? He's like why do you want to rush things and after I said something like well it's OK for you to sleep with me but you can't be with me? Because he's stubborn, he was like OK we can be friends and after I was arguing about it, he was like we need to stop talking and again I started begging and what not. Mostly it was because I was mad he didn't tell me that girl was there even though I asked. I asked him if there was anyone else and he said I was stupid for thinking that and that there isn't anyone and because I think that way, we can't be together.

I went crazy looking at those pics and I did something really stupid. I added his friend who put up those pics on msn, made up ANOTHER fake fb and started questioning his friend about my ex. He told me they were dating and that got me really mad. Then I guess because I made it too obvious that it was someone who was just investigating and not some stranger out of the blue who friend requested me, he started playing mind games with me. He started saying oh they both are married and they got married in Japan and all this rubbish. I figured out that this guy knew that I was someone who knew his friend and that I was just investigating so I got myself out of that whole mess by signing off. I was afraid he would tell his friend (my ex) about it though. Well the next day my ex calls me from overseas and he was acting normal. But I knew something was up but I didn't say anything. So the next day my ex texts me and tells me that he knows that it was me and that he was on the phone with his friend at that time and his friend told him what was going on and my friend totally lied to me about everything and that he got my IP address which proves it was me. Well afterwards I admitted it was me and that I did it because he lied to me when he didn't have to and he made me feel like I was worth nothing after doing it with me but not giving us a title. This went on for 3 weeks I texted and called him back and forth and yes that raised my cell phone bill which was totally not worth it. It was very hard getting in contact with him once again and that made me more furious. I would only get to talk to him for 2 3 minutes if I got lucky and then he would just hang up on me. He told me they are just friends and he didn't tell me because I was already on her case and it wouldn't help if he told me. He was OK towards the end and then he hit me up when he arrived back to New York. We talked fine as friends but I wanted to confront him face to face because it was bothering me. Honestly I felt really stupid because I realized I gave her way too much importance. So we met again for dinner after me begging and chasing him again. He told me how stupid I was and how she's not his type and she has a boyfriend and that she's nothing compared to me so I shouldn't even stress about it. He told me I was a very nice girl and he loves me but at times I just go crazy. Well once again we ended up doing it that night. YES ANOTHER FAULT OF MINE. I would come home and then start the whole "do u do it with me because u feel pity for me" and stuff like that and he would say no it's because he still has feelings for me and so on.

The thing is he would still act like we were together like he would flirt and tell me how he wanted to do it with me and how he wanted to go away for the weekend and stuff like that but at the same time he wouldn't call or update me like before so I already knew we weren't together. I basically showed him how desperate I was so I guess he thought I would always be there no matter what. I kept telling him that whatever he thought about me was wrong and that I'm not psycho and I'm not crazy but it's because we just don't communicate and he just believes what he wants and that'sthe problem. Again we would have fights and again he would block me and the cycle would continue.

Now recently we got into an argument and again he put me on block where I can't call him or text him. The next day I added him on bbm and he denied it a few times and then he got mad and said if I get taken off one more time he wouldn't add me back on. I left him alone for the day and later I apologized for stressing him out and thanked him for putting up with me. Before this last argument which was 2 weeks ago, we were talking fine. He told me he didn't hate me because I asked him but I said he acts like he does because he would always say something negative or at least I thought he meant it in a malicious manner and he would just be like I think too much. The next day I asked if he wanted to go see a movie which we both were supposed to see together and he said he was busy and I got a little mad and I said busy doing what, ignoring my existence? It bothered me how everyday he was mad at me for the most stupidest things. It wasn't that I wanted to get back with him, but because he was my first and we got along fine in the beginning, I didn't want to lose him as a friend. Then he proceeded to tell me how he doesn't like me anymore because of my behavior and that things aren't the same. I was confused because I was only talking about being friends so I don't know why he said he doesn't like me anymore. I asked him what he wanted and he said we can be friends and I was like how can we be friends if he just can't be cool with me and stop being mad and he said we are OK but I said how are we OK if he's constantly thinking something of me which I'm not. I told him I was tired of him always not understanding me and I always chased him because I'm really not that bad. Well he took me off bbm and this was two weeks ago and I have not heard anything about him ever since.

I went crazy and emailed him because he blocked me from calling and texting (sms) but I got no response. He even told me earlier that he would block my email addresses, I don't know if he has. I even made my friends text him but got no response. I added him on bbm but he denied it. Then I texted from my friends number saying it wasn't fair to me for him to just walk away and he couldve respected me a little to just tell me himself he didn't want me in his life. I told him I felt like he hated me and I didn't want that and perhaps maybe he would get a restrainging order against me. I said a lot-mostly to get his attention, some out of anger and some of it was how I felt. He disappeared a month ago but after 10 days he came back but again we fought and I kept texting him and he said he wouldn't ever again. Now its been like 2 weeks. I'm not sure if he will contact me again ever. I really miss him, I did a lot for him and never expected anything in return. He wasn't always romantic and never went out of his way to do anything special for me and I was OK with that but the way he treated me is ridiculous. My friends said he will contact me sometime but I should not speak to him again. What are your thoughts? And sorry for the long post.

I forgot to add, the last conversation we had where he said he doesn't like me anymore and that we can be friends, he said to not expect us to hang out because things end up happening between us two and he doesn't want that. I told him it wasn't hard for him to hold himself back and that made no sense. I honestly don't know what this guy wants but I am tired of looking into it and looking for answers when he should have the decency to give me closure himself.

Just leave him alone andlearn to not be so dependent on somebody. It's not very attractive. Be cool and find someone you naturally feel comfortable with. Work on yourself a bit and have fun as you do it. I'm wishing you the best.

Do u think he will try contacting me again? This is the first time we've lasted this long from speaking to each other. Will he miss me if I don't contact him? I haven't said anything to him for almost 10 days now.

You are in still wanting him and you don't get that he doesn't want you. Why do you still want him to call you? That's being needy and this is why you should work on yourself to no longer be that way. you can do it. I know its hard but you can do it. Don't wait around for a call. How is anybody suppose to know if he will call? I do know that you shouldn't wait around for one.

Why in the world would you want to be with somebody who doesn't want to be with you? He has made it very clear he is through with. What is this need you have to be with him?
You are not only throwing away your self respect you are starting to annoy him?

What is this guy going to have to say to you to make you leave him alone? He doesn't love you and he has told you that! :confused:

Time to walk away.

He could've shown some respect and tell me himself he didn't want me in his life rather than telling me we can be friends. I don't feel too good about it.

Life isn't fair kiddo. This won't be the last disappointment you have.
Hang in there and leave him alone.

Thanks for your advice. I don't plan on contacting him myself ever and plan on doing the whole NC for the most part. Hope he realizes he went hard on me for no reason.

You'll do fine!

You do NC for yourself,to help you heal from the breakup.

It doesn't matter what he thinks or how he feels-its over and you should concentrate on yourself and getting over him so you can move on.

Take care.

Hey.. It's his loss! Move on and in a year , you'll wonder what you ever saw in the guy! Blessings

Deep inside I know it's his loss but at the same time I can't help but think about everything over and over again and regret the mistakes I made. I keep thinking IF maybe I didn't say that or do this maybe today we he would be in my life. It's just that now I just got tired of always chasing him and waiting for answers.

At times I wonder why he lasted this long when all he wanted to do at the end was to just block me and disappear. He vanished before for 10 days but came back and again we started that whole cycle which I admit isn't healthy at all but I don't know I still feel incomplete. Hopefully this NC thing will help me overcome all this. I feel bad for the next girl in his life because the dude is extremely stubborn!

Deep inside I know it's his loss but at the same time I can't help but think about everything over and over again and regret the mistakes I made. I keep thinking IF maybe I didn't say that or do this maybe today we he would be in my life. It's just that now I just got tired of always chasing him and waiting for answers.

At times I wonder why he lasted this long when all he wanted to do at the end was to just block me and disappear. He vanished before for 10 days but came back and again we started that whole cycle which I admit isn't healthy at all but I don't know I still feel incomplete. Hopefully this NC thing will help me overcome all this. I feel bad for the next girl in his life because the dude is extremely stubborn!

Then stop it. If you two are meant to be , it will happen. Take some time for yourself. Don't contact him!:) Blessings

I definitely think it's time to let go and walk away. It almost sounds like he kind of enjoys you being so twisted up over him and therefore is finding some kind of morbid enjoyment in tormenting you by saying you can be friends so he can get a piece when he feels like it. He is treating you like a rug, and you are letting him. It's time to move on, and let someone into your life that will treat you better.

Thanks for ur advice. I don't plan on contacting him myself ever and plan on doing the whole NC for the most part. Hope he realizes he went hard on me for no reason.

I hope so too! Let us know and keep in touch. Blessings:):)

Ah man, that sux when you really like someone and it turns out like that. =o(

I think he did what he did because he didn't know how else to handle the situation. Deep down inside he does care about you and that's why he said "i want to be friends" but he knows that he can't see you any more because you two do not have a "friend" relationship. And you can't be just friends till enough time has passed so that you no longer have feelings for him(probably 2 years in this case).

You need to get over him. Don't contact him, try your best not to think about him, and go out on a few dates with other guys.

Maybe in a year and a half or so, you can give him a call and still be friends (when you have a new boyfriend)

And, if you do start dating someone else, don't get so attached! Don't let yourself get in a situation where you are so emotionally wrapped up in someone. And when they say the first time "I want to break up" let them go. Never call or text someone lots and lots of times. If you do that, some guys will find you less attractive. If you kind of ignore the guy a little, he will really like. That's just the way it works. =o)

I know you are feeling lots and lots of pain at this moment. Im going through one right now! Hang on there and you will move. It was your first true love and relationship so its understandable why you acted that way, learned from it and move on. I know its easier said then done but the more you hang on the memories the longer it will take you to heal. His a guy so any chance of him having sexual interaction he will take it doesn't matter if his attached or not. Give yourself a favor and just move on, and when you do find someone else learned from this and let that guy chase after you. I am really sorry for you feeling this type of pain, it is one of the most painful thing you can ever counter in your life.

Stop thinking about all the good times cause all your doing is peeling the scabs and it will be hard to heal. Good luck and if you need help moving on just let us know!

OK OK sorry. I just read through this whole thing and I am actually kind of regretting the time it took to do so. You could have summed it up by saying my boyfriend has been driven into maddness and I can't stay away.
The reason he can't be friends with you is pretty simple in my opinion. He can't stand the fact that you are always begging him for attention. Here is my thoughts on begging, there are only two times in your life that begging is acceptable. 1st, you life is being threatened by someone t, 2nd is when you really really screwed up with someone you love and you need their forgiveness. This does not mean making the same mistake over and over and over and over again. Your mistake was bothering him every second of every day and not at all in any way trusting the poor guy.
I mean you say that you said his activities were fine and all that but your actions speak much louder in that he was not free to do anything he wanted to do if it did not include you. He kept taking you back because you made it so hard to leave but my theory is that if he could have gotten away clean he would have long long ago.
Begging people over and over for the same thing is just shamful. Get your life together and stop depending on a man to make you feel better. Go talk to a professional about yourself worth and become a stronger person. And lastly, stay single for a while and enjoy freedom even if its not your ultimate goal. You'll find that you love life without a boyfriend that you feel you have to control.

Oh yeah, you calling him stubborn is like the pot calling the kettle black.

Sorry it was harsh but this is something you needed to hear but everyone else is far to nice to say. I won't call anyone a psycho stauker ex-gf but you sure do make that hard not to say.

Yes your words were a bit harsh I must say but its all right I appreciate you taking the time out to read it. It wasn't that I had trust issues with him because I really don't. I was his girlfriend and I figured I had the right to ask him whatever I want. If he wouldve answered me the right way the first time, I wouldn't feel the need to go on thinking why he only hides info about that one particular girl. And as far as bothering him goes, he has communication problems. I understand AT TIMES I blew up his phone but at the same time wasn't it his responsibility to show some care and pay attention to what I wanted to talk about when we were together? He never saw it that way. And yes I was wrong for being on his back when we were friends but he always gave me that vibe that he was mad or he hates me or something or he would make a remark and I wouldn't like it but to him it was a "joke." I understand I was wrong because no one is perfect but he wasn't all that great either for him to be the one to be ignoring me today like I fell off the face of the earth. If he was tired of it all then he shouldve been a adult about it and tell me he wanted a way out and not string me along saying "we can be friends."

Ps thanks to everyone else who left a comment. I appreciate it.

Yes ur words were a bit harsh I must say but its alright I appreciate u taking the time out to read it. It wasn't that I had trust issues with him because I really don't. I was his gf and I figured I had the right to ask him whatever I want. If he wouldve answered me the right way the first time, I wouldn't feel the need to go on thinking why he only hides info about that one particular girl. And as far as bothering him goes, he has communication problems. I understand AT TIMES I blew up his phone but at the same time wasn't it his responsibility to show some care and pay attention to what I wanted to talk about when we were together? He never saw it that way. And yes I was wrong for being on his back when we were friends but he always gave me that vibe that he was mad or he hates me or something or he would make a remark and I wouldn't like it but to him it was a "joke." I understand I was wrong because no one is perfect but he wasn't all that great either for him to be the one to be ignoring me today like I fell off the face of the earth. If he was tired of it all then he shouldve been a adult about it and tell me he wanted a way out and not string me along saying "we can be friends."

Ps thanks to everyone else who left a comment. I appreciate it.

You will be fine! Keep in touch okay! Blessings:)

I'm just wondering how its so easy for people to just cut people out of their lives within seconds. He hasn't said a word to me for 16 days now and I haven't contacted him in 10 days. He's out partying with friends, commenting people on fb as if it's not effecting him one bit. Does he even know if I'm alive or not? I've blocked him through my fb since December and then deactivated my fb because I just didn't want it but I can't help but to go on my friends fb who has many friends common with him. I really wasn't that bad for him to just whip me out of his life and not care at all. People change like no tomorrow. =(

Do yourself a favour and stop checking him out on Facebook.

Don't feed your anger and pain,focus on getting over this and getting back to having a good,happy life.

Take care.

I'm just wondering how its so easy for people to just cut people out of their lives within seconds. He hasn't said a word to me for 16 days now and I havent contacted him in 10 days. He's out partying with friends, commenting people on fb as if it's not effecting him one bit. Does he even know if I'm alive or not? I've blocked him through my fb since December and then deactivated my fb because I just didn't want it but I can't help but to go on my friends fb who has many friends common with him. I really wasn't that bad for him to just whip me out of his life and not care at all. People change like no tomorrow. =(

I know how you feel about them letting you go in a matter of seconds. The guy I was seeing use to message me every day and say good morning and good night every single day. Now he won't give me the time of day because he needs some time to deal with his personal issues. It hurts us more then it hurts them. They don't understand how a woman can get a connection faster then they can, and then it is seen as rushing into things. I recently had a break up and it seems like it doesn't phase him either. If anything he has changed to a colder person. Not the person I liked in the beginning of our relationship. Everyone tells me I am better without him but I don't see it that way.:confused: Its really hard to let go, but it's the only thing we can do.

I know how you feel about them letting you go in a matter of seconds. The guy I was seeing use to message me every day and say good morning and good night every single day. Now he won't give me the time of day because he needs some time to deal with his personal issues. It hurts us more then it hurts them. They don't understand how a woman can get a connection faster then they can, and then it is seen as rushing into things. I recently had a break up and it seems like it doesn't phase him either. If anything he has changed to a colder person. Not the person I liked in the beginning of our relationship. Everyone tells me I am better without him but I don't see it that way.:confused: Its really hard to let go, but its the only thing we can do.

Listen to this young lady and take her advice!:)

If_only sweetie,
You already said that he wanted to be free like a bird (in your post), but you stalked him against his will A LOT. He is very annoyed, and he does not want to be friend of you at all. Clean and simple.
Why on earth do you want to be a friend who is avoidng you?
Find someone else who will cherish you, and be happy. Cheers!

if_only sweetie,
You already said that he wanted to be free like a bird (in your post), but you stalked him aginst his will A LOT. He is very annoyed, and he does not want to be friend of you at all. Clean and simple.
Why on earth do you want to be a friend who is avoing you?
Find someone else who will cherish you, and be happy. Cheers!

Leave him alone and find something to do in your idle times.

If he blocked you from "BBM" when he was hanging with another girl (am I correct or did I read it wrong) that would have been the stopping point for me. I wouldn't of fixed it, talk to him about it. IF he was serious about you, he wouldn't of blocked you. And maybe he thought you didn't trust him to hang with other girls. But making a Facebook with falsde info, isn't a good thing. He isn't worth all that DRAMA, more people in this world. Trust me.

If he blocked you from "BBM" when he was hanging with another girl (am i correct or did i read it wrong) that would of been the stopping point for me. i wouldnt of fixed it, talk to him about it. IF he was serious about you, he wouldnt of blocked you. And maybe he thought you didnt trust him to hang with other girls. but making a facebook with falsde info, isnt a good thing. He isnt worth all that DRAMA, more people in this world. trust me.

Read the post and listen to them. Stop wasting time and energy on him.

Read the post and listen to them. Stop wasting time and energy on him.

I'm sorry. I believe I did. Thank you very much

i'm sorry. I believe i did. Thank you very much

Talking to the original one you posted this for. When you answer the OP by using someone else's advice that is quote user. Anyway you gave some good advice!

I'm sorry. I believe i did. Thank you very much

Bubbly, Kit wasn't talking to you, she was talking to the OP (original poster). Read her post again, Kit was agreeing with your advice.

Read the post and listen to them. Stop wasting time and energy on him.

Oh I'm sorry. My mistake. I thought you were telling me to read it and listen to them. My mistake I do apologize.

Oh im sorry. My mistake. I thought you were telling me to read it and listen to them. my mistake i do apologize.

No worries, it can take some time to get used to the format of this site and figure out how it works. :)

Welcome to AMHD. If you have any problems figuring things out, just ask, we're here to help. :)

Hey people(: please check out my questions.

Hey people(: please check out my questions.

Can you post a link? Just go to your question, right click on your mouse, copy and paste here. Then we'll have a link to follow. :)

My friend and I been friends since January(spp) and We rarely get in fights. We call each other bffs. And such, but when it comes to boys, she always comes to me for advice, but recently, she has been talking to my ex's step brother. And she is getting information on the boy she's been talking to (lets call him Joe and my ex Bill) so, she's been getting information from bill about joe. And JOE talks about me calling me ugly. Let me qoute exactly what joe said "she's ugly, she has an ugly face, pop tart crusty face, dirry hoe" so when I heard this which was this morning (3/23/10) I laughed, because the day I met Joe, I was eating a pop tart. And so I started thinking about what he called me, and it got too me, I am ugly. And what's messed up is how bill told my friend that joe said that. And all of bill's friend think I am a hoe, because I asked for his friends number, and he had his friend say he had a girlfriend, when he never did. And bill didn't want to sit with my friend today because iw as by her... I don't know. And she always ask me for help, but she'll probably go tell them. Help(:

(I don't think I did it right):)

My friend and i been friends since January(spp) and We rarely get in fights. We call each other bffs. and such, but when it comes to boys, she always comes to me for advice, but recently, she has been talking to my ex's step brother. and she is getting information on the boy she's been talking to (lets call him Joe and my ex Bill) so, shes been getting information from bill about joe. and JOE talks about me calling me ugly. Let me qoute exactly what joe said "she's ugly, she has an ugly face, pop tart crusty face, dirry hoe" so when i heard this which was this morning (3/23/10) i laughed, because the day i met Joe, i was eating a pop tart. and so i started thinking about what he called me, and it got too me, i am ugly. And whats messed up is how bill told my friend that joe said that. and all of bill's friend think i am a hoe, because i asked for his friends number, and he had his friend say he had a gf, when he never did. And bill didnt want to sit with my friend today because iw as by her......i dont know. and she always ask me for help, but she'll probably go tell them. help(:

(i dont think i did it right):)

No, you didn't do it right. ;) That's okay.

What you just did is post on someone else's thread, which isn't allowed and won't get you answers.

No worries, I'll go to your profile to find your thread. :)

No, you didn't do it right. ;) That's okay.

What you just did is post on someone elses thread, which isn't allowed and won't get you answers.

No worries, I'll go to your profile to find your thread. :)

Ah, I'm so new. Thank you so much for all your help(:

Ah, im so new. Thank you so much for all your help(:

Altenweg is is the greatest!:)

I have a question, how do u comment on a post?

I have a question, how do u comment on a post?

If you agree click on the agree button. If you disagree click on the disgree button and leave a comment. If you want to address a post use the quote feature for the post you want to comment on and post your comments:)

Oh I see the agree/disagree option now because I'm signed on a PC. All the other times I came on this site on my cell phone so it probably didn't have that option then.

BTW Kitkat22, I just want to say that your really wonderful. You always keep up with my posts and get back to me pretty much right away and I really appreciate it. Not to mention your advice is always great. *Cyberhug*

Oh I see the agree/disagree option now because I'm signed on a pc. All the other times I came on this site on my cell phone so it probably didn't have that option then.

BTW Kitkat22, I just wanna say that ur really wonderful. U always keep up with my posts and get back to me pretty much right away and I really appreciate it. Not to mention ur advice is always great. *Cyberhug*

Thank you.. I am here to listen and to help you. Anytime. There are great people on this Forum.:) Hugs to you also!

Just a little update/me venting..

Its been approximately 23 days since my ex/"friend" has said anything to me. I said before how I signed on my friends fb and I saw how he was doing fine partying hanging out with his friends and it really wasn't a good feeling. I kind of disciplined myself and I'll admit I don't do it as much as before but I did today and I broke down crying. I just can't believe how he ended things like that between us. I figured maybe after 2 weeks he'd get back to me and we can at least be civil to each other and part ways without having any hard feelings for each other but I myself don't have any way of contacting him. A part of me gets mad when I see his face and does not want to approach him but I ended up writing an email asking him if we can talk since a 3 weeks have passed by. I didn't send it because now I actually think before making any moves. My birthday is coming up in April and I can't help but wonder if he will remember and at least wish me. How do I stop thinking about him? I know I'm supposed to keep myself busy and not see anything concerning him on fb but its just so hard. I really wasn't that bad and I feel like he hates me.

I got over it after a little bit and just listened to some music but the feeling still lingers.

I'm really happy to hear you are trying to move on. That's a great big step. My advice, don't listen to sad
Music. It is the things you have before you that are important. You seem like a very bright and caring young lady.


It's his loss and one day he will realize this. By then you will have moved on with your life and you'll wonder, why you wasted time crying over him. I promise you it will get better! You look at yourself and See all the wonderful things you have in store.


I hope we have helped you. Keep on posting, and we'll keep on talking as long as you need. Okay.. :)

It's funny how you brought up not listening to sad music because all my friends complain that all I have in my Ipod are sad songs! Lol

Honestly I think I'm blessed. I have an awesome family who is always there for me and I have the best friends who have been on my side since day 1. They have been helping me a lot and I must admit, to an extent it does help but at night I find myself reminiscing. Yesterday I delete all the videos/pictures/voicenotes/saved text messages from my phone so I don't happen to see anything. It hurt afterwards but I knew I had to do it.

KitKat22 did you really mean what you said about how I seem like a caring young lady? It's not that I want to hear it but I'm wondering how a stranger who I have never seen in person can figure that out by reading my posts but the guy who I was with who I literally SHOWED all this to never saw that. I admit I was very clingy and maybe annoyed him but at the same time it was my first real relationship. The sad part is in the beginning when I told him this, he was very understanding and told me to take my time and that he will understand. I guess he was all talk because obviously he didn't even give me time. He just decided to walk away and end things every time things were a little rough. I seriously from the bottom of my heart cared for him even though he turned his back on me which explains all that begging/pleading I did. To be honest, I gave more than I ever received whether it be attention or whatever. I figured he would change and see that I really have high hopes for us but I don't know day by day it got worse. There were days where we would goof around have fun and there were days where he would just ignore me. I always felt like he hated me which was why I nagged him because he gave out that vibe. Those incomplete answers, those long nights where I would be put on hold because he didn't want to "deal with me," all those rejections on BBM, all those times I was blocked, I still never gave up. And what surprises me is the fact that I was never like this before ever and I'm not with anyone else. With him I was a different person because I CAN be stubborn but I just didn't want to stoop down to his level. I still miss him but I know he probably forgot I exist and I really don't want to approach him. The sad part is if people live a week with a dog and after two days the dog has to be given away, the person who took care of the dog or the weeksort of misses having the dog around. Me and him were actually in a relationship where we talked everyday so that just goes to show how heartless he is. Hes too stubborn for his own good. KitKat, I hardly doubt he'll ever realize what he lost.

Ahhh writing that out felt good! Thank u KitKat, reading your answer really did make me feel good.

Omg how did I forget to mention how I did his hw for him! I volunteered to do it but it was not appreciated at all! I did hw for him for about 4 classes and one semester I did great he got A's and the next semester he got caught plagiarising in one paper and completely blew off on me saying how its my fault and what not. On top of that he had the audacity to tell me how he lost all that money. So I decided to give him $3k for that class since it was my "fault." He didn't take the money but I didn't like how he made a big deal out of it when I was just trying to go out of my way to help him. Not to mention he was very irresponsible when it came to the hw. It was like he had NOTHING to do with it; he would email me the assignments and if I had any questions, he would have no idea and of course if anything went wrong, I was blamed for it. I got him excellent grades which he admitted he never got. I wasn't rewarded with anything but I sure was ridiculed over that plagiarism incident. (he wanted to part ways then too after I got mad and said so out of anger. He agreed like always but of course I had to "beg" again for him to stay). The hw stuff caused a lot of problems between us too when I was only trying to decrease the burden of work he had on his shoulders.

Just a side note.

It's funny how u brought up not listening to sad music because all my friends complain that all I have in my Ipod are sad songs! lol

Honestly I think I'm blessed. I have an awesome family who is always there for me and I have the best friends who have been on my side since day 1. They have been helping me a lot and I must admit, to an extent it does help but at night I find myself reminiscing. Yesterday I delete all the videos/pictures/voicenotes/saved text messages from my phone so I dont happen to see anything. It hurt afterword's but I knew I had to do it.

KitKat22 did u really mean what u said about how I seem like a caring young lady? It's not that I want to hear it but I'm wondering how a stranger who I have never seen in person can figure that out by reading my posts but the guy who I was with who I literally SHOWED all this to never saw that. I admit I was very clingy and maybe annoyed him but at the same time it was my first real relationship. The sad part is in the beginning when I told him this, he was very understanding and told me to take my time and that he will understand. I guess he was all talk because obviously he didnt even give me time. He just decided to walk away and end things every time things were a little rough. I seriously from the bottom of my heart cared for him even though he turned his back on me which explains all that begging/pleading I did. To be honest, I gave more than I ever received whether it be attention or whatever. I figured he would change and see that I really have high hopes for us but it day by day it got worse. There were days where we would goof around have fun and there were days where he would just ignore me. I always felt like he hated me which was why I nagged him because he gave out that vibe. Those incomplete answers, those long nights where I would be put on hold because he didn't wanna "deal with me," all those rejections on BBM, all those times I was blocked, I still never gave up. And what surprises me is the fact that I was never like this before ever and I'm not with anyone else. With him I was a different person because I CAN be stubborn but I just didnt wanna stoop down to his level. I still miss him but I know he probably forgot I exist and I really dont want to approach him. The sad part is if people live a week with a dog and after two days the dog has to be given away, the person who took care of the dog or the weeksort of misses having the dog around. Me and him were actually in a relationship where we talked everyday so that just goes to show how heartless he is. Hes too stubborn for his own good. KitKat, I hardly doubt he'll ever realize what he lost.

Ahhh writing that out felt good! Thank u KitKat, reading ur answer really did make me feel good.





The reason I know you are a nice young lady is the fact you admit your mistakes. We all have that one great love in our lives who we think we'll never get over. There are times when we act in ways we never thought we would. We would do anything for that person. When they start to pull away the harder we try to hold them the harder they they try to run.

When it's over, we blame ourselves and think I should have done this or I shouldn't have done that. We go back and analyze each
Word or smile wondering if there is hope. Then you wait and pray and cry. That's normal . What isn't normal is the cruel way he did this. He owed you respect and he isn't showing you that. I think he is just a player and he will regret it one day.

I hope you regain yourself confidence because he isn't worth your time. Don't you dare try to see him. Get out and go to dinner with your friends. Go to a gym and workout. I believe what goes round comes round. You don't hurt people intentionally and not have it come back and hit you right in the face. It will come around to bite him!

The day will come when you meet the true great love of your life
And he'll treat you like you need to be treated. I did, I have been married many years to the most wonderful man in the world, great Father, we're best friends and the love I have for him is everlasting and true. We do a lot together, and with our kids who are grown. Without him I would be incomplete.

I look back on that young girl who was treated so badly by the guy she trusted and married and ended up being abused mentally and physically. I had a child a couple years after we were married and I finally left , I did not grow up in an abusive home. When I met my husband a few years later I was leery, but it worked out. He's the only Dad my oldest child has ever known.

What was so strange about my first marriage as much pain and misery as he put me through, there were times I missed him. I though I was nuts, but I talked to my friends and they said it's normal. Just like you said about the dog. I forgave him many years ago , because I knew it took much more out of me to hate him than to forgive him. If I have anyone to thank for the way my life is today, it's God, he brought me through a very dangerous time and I met my wonderful husband.

I'm saying this to let you know your feelings are normal, but you will get over him and years from now you'll shake your head and laugh and say ; "what in the world did I ever see in that guy". You will! I know you will! I hope I have helped you .Get yourself together. Stop putting yourself down. God made you the way he wanted you to be, but he also wants you to use some of that strength he gave you! It's there call on on it and you are a nice young Lady. You are in my prayers !:)

Wow that was great. Thanks a lot for sharing your story its very well appreciated. That really brought a smile to my face. And the reason why you have what you have in life now is simply because you deserve it. I don't even know you and I can say that your an amazing person.

U and the rest of the people on this site are amazing.

I have a question though, after how long after that break up of yours did you find your husband? How long did you wait?

Wow that was great. Thanks a lot for sharing your story its very well appreciated. That really brought a smile to my face. And the reason why u have what u have in life now is simply because u deserve it. I dont even know u and I can say that ur an amazing person.

U and the rest of the people on this site are amazing.

I have a question though, after how long after that break up of urs did u find ur husband? How long did u wait?

I dated several guys and never got involved seriously with any one. It will happen for you.It took neary nearly seven years to meet the right one . It wasn't that I was looking, I wasn't. We just met and after afew dates we both knew. You will too. Don't make the mistakes I made little girl. Don't date just any guy ,give yourself time. You gave him money he gave you pain and has made you feel so awful about yourself.

When you do find the right one and you will it will be because you're not looking for him. You'll know and so will he. Don't settle for anything but the best. Don't let guys think because you are lonely you are an easy mark, I don't believe you are. Someday the boyfriend will kick himself in the butt because he let you go! Be sweet and have nice dreams.:)

If only, you sound like a sweet caring person, it sucks when stuff like this happens to people like you. But you will come out of this stronger, and you will be a happier person afterwards. I wish you all the best

Just an update...

Two days ago my ex called and texted me. The last time I said anything to him was on the 13th of March, after that I was strictly on NC. He called me and I was in bed so when my phone vibrated I looked at it and saw his number. I deleted all his info from my phone so no name came up but I know his number by heart. I did not pick up and let it ring. After the missed call I got a text from him saying "ignoring? =)." I ignored that also. Then after 4 hours He texted me again basically saying what's with us not talking. The text was not in english but the translation is pretty much the same.

I didn't feel like answering because I honestly don't want to come off as being too easy. I pretty much had to wait a little less than a month to hear from him and if I respond right away, it just gives him more power. He can leave whenever he wants and will know that whenever he decides to text me, I will respond immediately. I want him to learn a lesson. But at the same time I do wish to be friends with him but at the same time not show him that I am needy/desperate like I did before. He hasn't said anything since the
2nd and I'm wondering how I should play this out.

I'm not going to lie, this time away did make me realize my own mistakes and where I was wrong. At the same time I want him to know that I changed as well. Should I wait it out and see if he says anything else?

Just an update...

Two days ago my ex called and texted me. The last time I said anything to him was on the 13th of March, after that I was strictly on NC. He called me and I was in bed so when my phone vibrated I looked at it and saw his number. I deleted all his info from my phone so no name came up but I know his number by heart. I did not pick up and let it ring. After the missed call I got a text from him saying "ignoring? =)." I ignored that also. Then after 4 hours He texted me again basically saying whats with us not talking. The text was not in english but the translation is pretty much the same.

I didnt feel like answering because I honestly dont want to come off as being too easy. I pretty much had to wait a little less than a month to hear from him and if I respond right away, it just gives him more power. He can leave whenever he wants and will know that whenever he decides to text me, I will respond immediately. I want him to learn a lesson. But at the same time I do wish to be friends with him but at the same time not show him that I am needy/desperate like I did before. He hasnt said anything since the
2nd and I'm wondering how I should play this out.

I'm not gonna lie, this time away did make me realize my own mistakes and where I was wrong. At the same time I want him to know that I changed as well. Should I wait it out and see if he says anything else?


Well... I suggest you stay NC. You are on the road to mending.

See how much better you'll feel. Not only will you get your self
Confidence back , it will make you feel better. Don't believe anything he tells you...

He's a liar and a user. Change your number and if you are on Facebook block him.

Get angry when you think of how he's treated you. . No contact .Okay also use regular words when you post here because text speak is not allowed.:) You can do it. Stay strong and be firm, he'll get the picture.

I wouldn't care to bet you a few months from now he'll look back and kick himself in the rear because he'll realize you're the best thing that ever happened to him. But it will be to late and
You won't care. This is horrible to say... but revenge is soooo sweet. You'll see. Blessings:)

It think if you leave him alone long enough you will get over him, stop with the game of thinking he will change, if you teach him a lesson, and see that life has better options and opportunities, if you heal properly.

I completely agree with u Talaniman and Kitkat22. I know what his faults are and I also know mine. I already stated in my original post that I ran after him too much, emailed him numerous times and basically was annoying which is why he did what he did. I'm not at all taking his side and justifying any of his actions because at the end of the day he can be very mean when all is said and done but a part of me wants to see how things would really be now now that I won't repeat any of my mistakes. I don't want to give in immediately either. Right now I'm just on the borderline. I'm contemplating what I should do and how I should respond if I do. But at the same time I want to see his attempts. I want to see how badly he wants me back in his life. Two texts and a phone call really don't convince me.

I appreciate you all for looking out for me and I know its for my own good but I'm just sharing my thoughts with you.

And Kitkat, I wasn't aware of the texting language that I was using. Sorry.

By the way, does anyone think he contacted me out of pity? I definetely don't want him feeling sorry for me. I haven't said anything to him for a few weeks so it would be weird if he feels sorry for me...

What you had was a toxic relationship and now its back to playing texting mindgames.

Don't fall into that trap.

Ignore him,stay NC and heal.

What you had was a toxic relationship and now its back to playing texting mindgames.

Dont fall into that trap.

Ignore him,stay NC and heal.

Jodi... he is playing mind games.. he feels you slipping away and he doesn't want you too. He wants you for a spare just in case he can't find anyone else. You're better than that. Stay NO CONTACT.
He's a manipulator and he knows exactly which strings to pull. (you stay strong! :)

Kit is right, its not pity, its for his own purpose.

In man lingo-he is just checking his traps. That's what hunters do. I wouldn't be surprised if he has many traps to check, and you're just one.

Sorry, but don't give in, stay with NC!

Kit is right, its not pity, its for his own purpose.

In man lingo-he is just checking his traps. Thats what hunters do. I wouldn't be surprised if he has many traps to check, and you're just one.

Sorry, but don't give in, stay with NC!!






Very well said Talaniman... I can't add anything to your answer. You said it all:)

So after not responding to my ex's call or two texts for 5 days, today I texted him saying "whats up." YES I know I was supposed to maintain the NC rule and I was for the past month almost and throughout that month I realized a lot and got a better understandings of things but something inside me was just telling me to do it. I didn't do it in hopes of us getting back together, and yes it sounds pretty naïve because it's not like I HAVE to be friends with him but I didn't want to just end it for good in that way. Overall he's a nice guy, he was mean and took me for granted sometimes I admit that but he wasn't SO bad. And plus my main purpose was to show him the real me which I never really got a chance to do throughout the relationship because I got too "clingy" and always chased after him but that's really not me. I got carried away and I know what I did was wrong and what caused him to be so distant.

Our conversation went pretty OK. I texted him and he said "oh wow look who is it." I asked how he's been and he did the same. We exchanged like two texts each after that and then he said "worktime ill talk to you later" and I left it at that. Usually I'd go crazy texting but this time I didn't even feel like saying anything. I basically treated him like I'd treat any of my other friends. So after a few hours he asked me how my parents were doing and how school was going and I answered. Again maybe 5 6 texts were exchanged and I let the conversation stop at his last text. Since I'm planning on going to med school, he said you still have like 10 years ahead of you go go and I left it at that. I really don't plan on texting him that much because I've learned. At the same time I didn't forget what he did in the past but I'm just trying to play it cool. I think deep inside I realized I don't like him AS much as I did before even though a month away isn't that much.

I know I didn't listen to you guys and I'm sorry for that because you guys really were there for me when I was venting and I appreciate that and for the long run maybe this decision I made isn't all that great for me but I really liked this guy and shared a lot of memories with him for me to walk away in a cold manner. I didn't want us to bump into each other and have any kind of animosity amongst us.

Now I have another question, do you guys think he will ask to meet me? And how should I act towards him? I respond to his texts after some time so I don't look like I'm waiting for him which I really am not; I'm a full time student so I'm in school mostly. Also he hasn't brought up adding me back on BBM. When I last emailed him I told him I deleted his bbm pin so IF he asks to add me I will just say I don't have your pin?

P.S my birthday is coming up and I really want to know if he even remembers. And kitkat, I forgot to answer you before, I blocked him on fb back in December from my account and his friends also so no one can see any of my comments that were once made on his pics/wall. I don't want to be on his fb, I have no interest left in that. If anything goes wrong again, I know I have to go NC again and just cut him out once again and stick to it. I just wasn't OK with the hard feelings with had going on.

... If he doesn't treat you well on any other day, don't expect him to treat you any different on your birthday. Sorry but it's true.