I had a baby when I was 16.
I will be 18 this summer.

I was living in a group home and everything was going okay, it was rough at times, but I had my life planned out and I was doing great in school.
Then this September I got kicked out because they said I wasn't trying hard enough.

I had to move back home with my family.
There are 7 of us and two dogs in one small house.
My mom talked me into getting my GED, so I'm not in school anymore. I missed out on my senior year.
I don't really have any friends anymore.
I can't find a job.
My grandma gives me money every month - enough for gas and diapers. I'm supposed to enroll in college for this fall and I'm really scared of failing.

I'm struggling with my OCD, depression, and eating disorders.
And on top of all that, I'm a single mom.
None of the few friends I have understand how hard it is.
My mom tells me all the time how I'm a bad mother and things like that.
She complains when I go out with the man that I'm dating, even though I watch my sisters all the time for her & her husband to go out and even when they are here, because they don't want to get out of bed.
I'm kind of thinking of putting her up for adoption, so that I can focus on school and she can have a family who gives her the attention, love, and things that she needs & deserves.
But I'm scared. I love her even though having her has caused me so much pain and hardship. I don't want her to grow up and hate me if I give her up. I just want her to have a real family with a nice, clean house in a safe neighborhood.

I just don't know what to do.
What do you think?

Do what you think is best for your baby. If you think she will live a good life with lots of love in another home then it might be a good idea. But if you think she will live a good fulfilled life with you then keep her. But don't be selfish. Don't keep her just because you will miss her, and you love her. Giving her to a better home may be the most loving thing you could do for her if the life she's living with you is bad.

I can only tell you that my son was placed for adoption at about two years of age and he absolutely loves his birth mother. He is now 15 himself, a year younger than she was when he was born, and he's amazed by the strength she showed in giving him the life he has today.

We have a semi-open adoption. I write to his birth parents and birth grandparents every year and they can also write to me. My son is getting increasingly involved in the communication and probably when he's 17 or 18, he will meet them if they are open to it. Because we've maintained contact, we can readily find them. We know they love him and think of him and want to meet him one day.

There's no question you can give your baby enough love and you don't have to stop giving the child that love, but in a different way. The hard part is giving the child stability - a peaceful home, a two parent household, a good education, a chance at college, opportunities to play an instrument and sports and dancing and all those things kids enjoy.

I think give that you are struggling on your own right now adoption may be a good option for you. Then I think you need to get some help with your mental health struggles you mentioned, and perhaps start at a community college. You don't have friends because you are isolated at home with the baby, but if you start college you will have a natural way to meet people again. You don't have to even know what you want to study - just start with core classes.

Don't worry about money - I got a second degree with no money - there is a lot of aid out there. And you may be able to get financial aid that includes an on-campus job, which would solve your job dilemma, too. Once you have a life outside the house, your life in the house will not annoy you as much.

Take care and God bless - I think you are thinking in the right direction and this can all work out for you and your beautiful daughter.

I'm going to tell you something, that I tell my friends & other people all the time.
You have to do what YOU think & truly believe is going to be best for YOU(but in your case you have to do what YOU believe is going to be best for both YOU & YOUR daughter)
I know how bad it hurts, &how confused you are as to what you should do.(Trust me I really do know, from my own PERSONAL experiance)
(I was almost 13, I am 15 almost 16 now)
I know how confused you are & all I can really tell you is whether you choose to give your daughter up, LIVE EACH & EVERYSINGLE MOMENT, LIKE AS IF IT WAS GOING TO BE YOUR LAST.
If you don't, I can give you my word you WILL regret it.
(No matter what you choose to do)

I think everyone else has given you really sound advice and important things to think about on adoption. So I'm not going to touch that subject.

I think enrolling yourself in college is a really great idea. Don't let the fear of failing stop you. If you do, you'll never know what you're really capable of. And I think you could do it. Your post was well written and easy to read. That's already a good sign (if you don't believe me, go check out some more threads and see how many we can't make sense of ;) )

I'd also like to add, in case you decide against adoption, that you should look into financial aid at the college you're looking into. Programs vary from school to school, and state to state. So your school/state might not offer everything mine does. But my school has a child care center where parent students can leave their children while they go to class. They also have counselors that help you with everything to planning your classes to even helping you find sitters so that you can have extra study time at home. There's also a lot of financial aid. I'm at a junior college right now. I get enough financial aid that I pay next to nothing for my classes (they cover everything but the health fee, which is still less than$20), I have enough money for books, transportation, and even a little extra for anything else I need. It's a huge help.

FAFSA - Free Application for Federal Student Aid (http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/) your school may have additional forms you need to fill out. But here's the form for the federal. You definitely want to fill it out and turn it in. if you run into any problems, the school will usually help you. The first year I did it I had no idea how to. After they helped me the first time, the second time was easy.

Let us know what you decide to do. You have to do what feels right to you.