Last year I became friends with someone from university. As soon as we met I thought we clicked, we laughed about everything, and did everything together. Then the second friend came along, and I clicked with her too. All three of us became friends, and now we are living together.

I have had a past of bad friends, friends who talked about me, said I was depressed when I am clearly not. Past friends have criticized my tastes in music and people who I date. They said I looked like I'm pissed off all the time, but that's just my relaxed face, and I personally think that's a huge exaggeration. So I ditched those friends a long time ago, it was hard because I was alone for a while but I found new friends. The same thing happened when I dated this guy. I became friends with his friends, thought everything was okay, then when I tried to hang out with them no initiative was made from them, it was all coming from me. So after we broke up those friends left to, and I was alone once again. Since I've been at university I have been making so many new friends, but the first two that I mentioned above, I have clicked with the most. We spend so much time together and I could never get sick of them.

Because of my past experiences I take friendship seriously. Im usually good around people and in really neutral moods. Although lately I've been noticing that when they upset me about something they could care less to ask me about it, especially when they are the ones who have acted out towards me, or said something to me that I thought was Bi***ey.

I said I wanted to talk to them about it and so we did...

Pretty much all I got was 'i don't care'. I told them that the looks I get and the attitude hurts me, and id wish that when I was upset that they would come to talk to me, instead of me having to come to them all the time. They said they care... but then they said 'they didn't care to come talk to me because THEY thought the situation wad stupid, or that it was something they didn't think much about. I kept repeating to them that I CARE! And that I am there when they need me but when I am down, they are no where to be found (technically there in the room next to me, and it sucks when I can hear them giggling about something that I know I could be giggling about too). I know they talk about me in there too because they said that in the discussion, and I know they do by experience because they have talked about all the other roommates. Sometimes its not bad talk, but I have heard some bad talk.

I feel like maybe I should give in but I'm so sick of always going to her and trying to pretend like nothing happened. I told them that too. But once again I got the 'i don't care when you do this, it doesn't affect me" hinting towards why i shouldnt be so 'sensitive'. They think i get mad a silly things, but honestly, ive only been upset with them about attitude problems 3 times this whole school year! and living with 6 girls, i would think it would be SO much worse then that!

I feel like we didnt get anywhere with the talking. They blurted out all the things that i do that upsets them, and were trying to turn the situation around making me sounds like a bad person. one of the examples was "when my boyfriend was over you never bothered to spend time with him as a friend" then i said 'Uh yea i did! I spend 45 minutes talking to him on your bed about what im studying, and he was asking me questions and stuff". Then she said "well when we went for a walk that night you were walking ahead of us, like you did want to walk with us". Then I said "you made a comment about me being pissed off and that i was walking ahead, then i turned around and said, why do you assume that im pissed off because im walking ahead?" It was wet and rainy that night, not to mention there were 2 other people with us walking in a horizontal line. It hard to do that, you will run into things if you stay beside people, so I decided to walk ahead. Also the biggest thing that upset me was the whole concert situation. There was a concert that they wanted to go to and were talking in front of me about it. I know which band they were talking about, in fact I've been a fan for 4 almost 5 years. Not to be rude they asked me if I wanted to go, and I said sure ill go. Then I got upset because every time they talked about the band and the plans, I wasn't included. They never ended up going because they say, but not do a lot of things. It was mantioned over online and in person that THEY shoud go, THEY should meet up with someone there, and that THEY were mad they missed it. I swear, I have never even heard of them talk about this band with so much hype since this year! I asked one of them about it, about why they don't include me when they are talking about the plans, and she simply said, 'you didn't seem like your into it, and you don't talk about them much' and I replied 'just because I don't talk about them all the times doesn't mean I'm not a fan, if anything I've probably known about them way longer then you have.'... and she took offence to that, rolling her eyes at me. (this was during the time that I was talking to her boyfriends, yet she claims I wasn't lol).

It's just silly things like that that they were bringing up. It pretty much made me more angry from before. They never came to me to talk to me about this apparent "issues" so why are they talking about it now? They keep saying that the things I get upset about are pointless and I shouldn't be upset about them, they they are getting upset at this? I'm so confused!

I know I'm just stating the negative right now, us three have had SO many more good times than this. But I feel like the same situations is happening again from the past! Why do people think this things of me. I have never intentionally done anything to them. And if I did I wish they would say something to me instead of blowing up a million things at me in a matter of 15 minutes. It was a lot to take in. I just wish they would care, but I don't know if I can't be close friends with people that are not there for me 100% of the time, through thick and thin, a give and take relationship.

After the talk (that turned into an arguement) One of them (the one with the boyfriend) came up and hugged me. I forgave her and we have been cool ever since, but the other one that walked out during the talk (said she had a paper to write) has not said a word to me since. Personally I think its an ego problem. I was talking to another roommate today, and she said she was asking about me if I was okay. The other roommate said I was just fine, and I was in the living space talking and laughing with them. She told me that she looked upset about something. In a weird way I hope it was about me because then I would doubt that maybe she's emotionless (except laughing). I don't like saying that because I know its mean but its an indication to me that maybe she does care that I am upset. But so far, she has not come to me or said anything to me, and its been a couple days now.

Please give me our feedback every single viewpoint and angle of the situation. I don't know what to do! Like I said I'm sick of going to her ALL the time and pretending like nothing is wrong.

I think you expect too much and too specific of expectations of other people. You have an ideal of what friends should be and if someone is not like that, you don't think they care about you. It's unfair to these people and unrealistic for yourself.

To be happy with friendships you need to accept people as they are, and enjoy the good things they have to offer the friendship. If they don't meet a need, it doesn't mean they fall short as a friend. It just means they can't be everything to you. You need more friends, or you may need to do some things for yourself - like learning to manage your own feelings without having to have your friends carrying part of the burden for you.

It's nice to have people we can confide in, and sometimes it's easy to be disappointed because we want our friends to make things better, or just to make us feel better, or to totally agree with and support us. The thing is, they may not have any insight, they might even be bored with our problem. They might think that we're being ridiculous and making too much of nothing, or they might feel we're bringing the problem on ourselves. It doesn't mean they don't care - that's what they have to offer and we can take it or leave it.

Some friends are nurturing, some tell it like it is. Some want to know our deepest feelings, others really don't - they just want to go hear a band and have a beer. Respect that it's all OK and if you enjoy their company, well - that's a gift in your life. Don't ruin it by burying it in a whole laundry list of other expectations of these people.

I don't expect much from them. They listen to my ranting about my family issues or school issues and I listen to theirs (when they have them), but when they are what caused me to be upset (like them having a bad attitude, smirking, or saying rude to me) they don't care to listen. They said they know what they did, they know I was upset, but they don't think the issue is important enough to care about. Out of the others that heard the conversation, one of them spoke to me about it and said their arguments towards me were pointless, and their yelling was scary.