My husband is trying to adopy my daughter, the bio father never paid support or never tried to see her she is now 6 years old. Im so nervous that the bio father will not sign consent and then will be able to visit her. I wouldn't mind it, but he is into drugs and has been I'm and out of jail, and still has current charges pending. Any ideas? Help?

If the bio father will not consent, then the step parent adoption can not go through.

The ONLY exception to this (generally) is going to be if you can PROVE that the bio father is a danger to the child, and that step-parent adoption would be in the best interests of the child.

What does your lawyer say?

There's a good chance that if he's not been involved and owes a lot of back child support, he might be willing to consent to your husband adopting the child. You may need to draft an adoption plan that permits ongoing contact and exchange of information so that your daughter can reconnect with him later. He may just need to be reassured of what she will be told about him and that she will know about him in a compassionate manner.

If he does not consent you can ask the court to terminate his rights to permit the adoption to proceed. Based on his failure to see her for 6 years, no pattern of paying any support and his inability to parent due to his drug and prison record, the court may well desire to provide her a more stable legal father. He's really done nothing to assert his parental rights and the court often will take a "use it or lose it" approach in making this kind of determination. They want to see that the child is cared for, bottom line. If there's a guy who does nothing, compared to a guy who does everything for the child, they will certainly consider the situation.

There's a good chance that if he's not been involved and owes a lot of back child support, he might be willing to consent to your husband adopting the child. You may need to draft an adoption plan that permits ongoing contact and exchange of information so that your daughter can reconnect with him later. He may just need to be reassured of what she will be told about him and that she will know about him in a compassionate manner.

If he does not consent you can ask the court to terminate his rights to permit the adoption to proceed. Based on his failure to see her for 6 years, no pattern of paying any support and his inability to parent due to his drug and prison record, the court may well desire to provide her a more stable legal father. He's really done nothing to assert his parental rights and the court often will take a "use it or lose it" approach in making this kind of determination. They want to see that the child is cared for, bottom line. If there's a guy who does nothing, compared to a guy who does everything for the child, they will certainly consider the situation.


You can ASK the courts--but they're generally going to say NO. Termination of parental rights is a VERY serious thing to do, and to do so with no history of violence or danger to the child, there is absolutely no reason for the court to do so.

It's actually GOOD that courts don't take away parental rights based on the word of ONE of the parents--otherwise a lot of birthfathers would have their rights taken away just because the birthmother lied so that an adoption can go through. Or that a child was placed temporarily in foster care due to strange circumstances, and the parents' rights were terminated without their consent because "now the children are in a better place".

You cannot take away the rights of ONE group of biological parents without seriously endangering the rights of OTHER biological parents--which is why the courts take ANY TPR very seriously.

Abandonment is actually just leaving the child with no adult supervision or guidance.

Dropping the kid off on the corner and never coming back is abandonment. Going to work and never coming home is abandonment--assuming there is no other parent there.

Not seeing a child isn't abandonment.

Besides--we're getting ONE side here. For all we know, the father HAS attempted contact, but has been shut down by the mother due to his jail record. I know what the OP said here--but we don't know BOTH sides of the story, and I think that before a judge can terminate rights, it's in the child's best interests to get BOTH sides of the story.

Failure to support or maintain contact with a child is grounds for termination of parental rights to permit an adoption in many states. I was incorrect in using the term "abandonment" but this is what I was referring to.