I have a crush on this girl. We hung out a couple times and actually hooked up on one of those occasions. I met her through one of my friends who happens to be her best friend. We both have just came out of long term relationships and I think it might be to soon for her. I think her hooking up with me might have initiated their breakup. I heard it through the grapevine that she likes me. After hearing that news (about her breakup and that she thinks I'm cute) it has been the first time that I have actually felt happy since my breakup 3 months ago. I was miserable for the last 3 months. This feeling takes my mind off my ex and it feels really good. I know this would be considered a "rebound" but I think I really need this. Here is my questions... should I pursue her? Or should I just wait it out and keep hanging out with her and see where it goes from there. I really want to ask our mutual friend if she likes me and if I should pursue her. Any advice... I am just so fragile right now and I don't want to lose this feeling because it is helping me look past my last relationship. I think this girl is really cool and I like hanging out with her. Thanks.

You're still suffering a painful break up. While you were in the relationship, you've grown a dependence on another person. Now you want to fill the void that your ex has left?

How is that fair to you? How is that fair to the new person? She's just a filler?

Focus on healing. Don't stop yourself from meeting and getting to know more people. However, there's no reason to rush into a relationship if you're still suffering from the break up.

Make new friends and do more things for yourself. But don't jump into a relationship until you've recovered from the break up.

You may feel that you're ready for a new relationship, but she may not be.

Rebound relationships generally don't last, so be sure to give her ample time to heal before getting into anything serious. Don't let her use you as a band-aid that she'll use only until the sore heals.

Most of the people on this site are going to tell you that rebounding is unfair to you and the other person, and I agree with it, but I'm going to put myself out there and say that it might actually help you move on. I know people are going to disagree with this, but if you know that it's a rebound and nothing more, and so does the other person, then why not?

My ex has been in a rebound since our breakup, and she's on cloud nine right now. I've been dealing with all of the emotions, done a lot of growing, and really improved myself since then, yet I'm still miserable about the whole berakup. Who's position would you rather be in? Me personally, I don't know, I wouldn't want to do that to another person, but at the same time I want to be happy, you know?

There actually have been many studies that say that you can never fully get over someone until you find someone else, and no matter how long after a break up you wait, your first relationship probably is going to still be a rebound to a point.

I don't know man, do what you think is best for you, if your thinking short term, I say rebound, if your thinking what's best for you in the long run, I'd wait a few more months.

I don't like rebounding from one person to another because, its based in some very selfish needs to feel better, but you both will suffer from it.

Now if you're both on the rebound, and realize you're both still hurting, you can help each other with HONESTY, and consideration, for one another's situation.

Without mutual consideration, and blunt honesty, somebody WILL be hurt again. That's not what you want from this encounter, is it?

Keep it very real, and very honest, and don't be a selfish basta@rd. To suck what you need from another, and give nothing of yourself to another who has needs, is totally unacceptable behavior. That's why rebounds never work out, and make more problems than they solve.

True healing, and recovery, comes from within, not by some outside temporary relief of your grief, and especially not taking from someone, who like you, is in need and VULNERABLE.

If you can't be honest with yourself, and her, DON'T DO IT!


My ex has been in a rebound since our breakup, and she's on cloud nine right now. I've been dealing with all of the emotions, done a lot of growing, and really improved myself since then, yet I'm still miserable about the whole breakup. Who's position would you rather be in? Me personally, I don't know, I wouldn't want to do that to another person, but at the same time I want to be happy, you know?

I would rather be healing the right way that helps in the long run, rather than just trying to feel good because, the ex SEEMS so happy. Her happiness would not be my misery, nor would it lead me into something that would hurt me or another later, just to feel good now.

Happiness is your responsibility, not someone's who is hurting themselves, and looking for their own feel good.

While it may feel as if it helps you fill the void left by the ex,I think you'd be going down a slippery slope.

Heal first,and you are not there yet.

Most likely one of the rebounds is going to develop stronger feelings for the new person than the other one will.

And most likely,that means a new mess.

Once you are completely over an ex,you are ready to seriously date again.