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View Full Version : I wonder if this Girl is for Real?


luckystar4um
Mar 12, 2010, 02:40 AM
Hi, I just want to know if this girl is for real! It might sounds funny, but I went to Vietfun site to chat just for jun because I was kind of depressing and stressed because at the time it was raining and raining days after days. So, I could not do anything for my business and for fun. I was pretending myself being Lesbian, but I am a straight guy, I just wanted to be fun and just get my boring going away. I ended up talking to this one Bi girl.

She knew I was a guy because I told her that I do not like to talk on the phone, she asked to see my wc, but I said I do not have a webcam. Then she called and I did not answer, because I wanted her to believe me, so I told her that I do not like to talk on the phone, I just like texting. So she was like, OMG, you are a GUY. I was just laughing, so I told her the truth, and she asked me why. I just told her that I am bored and stuff like that. She said, OMG, you should not do that anymore. I said OK.

The day after, I was scared to talk to her because I thought she would not want to talk to me, but I have her Facebook, and I attractive to her as looks. So I wanted to give it a shot. About few days later, I chat with her, I have told her my problems. My problems are I have been used by my exes before for money and stuff. Yet, I am stucked with the bankruptcy chapter 13. She told me that she would be there for me. Then, she wanted a new phone with touch screen, she found it on Ebay, I told her I would buy her that, and she was really happy.

After that, she wanted me to help her move out, by the way she is not where I am. I am from CA, and she is from Oaklahoma. She is 18 now so she wants to move out. Today, she told me why she wanted to move out, because she is not happy with her family because her parents are divorced and she living with her mother, and brothers. But they argue all the times so she stressed and really sad so she wants to move out. She is still in H.S because she came to America 8 years now but she got set back one year. So she said she want me to help her with her rent. But I've told her I can not, but she mad at me.

Today, Ive told her everything about my life, now she is understand, but I do not know what she wants next. Please let me know, if I am going to the strap of a Gold Digger again! Thanks

kp2171
Mar 12, 2010, 02:57 AM
I am stucked with the bankruptcy chapter 13. She told me that she would be there for me. Then, she wanted a new phone with touch screen, she found it on Ebay, I told her I would buy her that, and she was really happy.

After that, she wanted me to help her move out, btw she is not where I am.
Please let me know, if I am going to the strap of a Gold Digger again! thanks

So... you like to buy affection by buying gifts and then call it golddigging... well, if she is a gold digger you are most definitely a codependent enabler.

You are considering hooking up with an 18 year old who immediately is pressing you to save her and to buy her things...

*sigh*

Look... I'm not going to tell you what is right or wrong... but what you don't get to do is to make really lousy decisions... or at least extremely risky ones... and then later complain about it if it all falls through when she's gotten all she could out of you...

The setup for failure here just isn't even subtle.

Now... if you are OK with probably being with someone who is going to use you until you can't be useful anymore, then you are set... and I don't mean that as satirical as it sounds...

There are a lot of different types of relationships, and sometimes the key to happiness isn't matching what others think you should be doing... so... I had a blast for a year and a half once with a girl I dated when we knew it wasn't going to be lasting... so we weren't on the traditional path most couples took. That relationship worked within the domain of my needs...

So...

What do you need? What are your expectations? What would make this worth it? Not worth it?

Larken85
Mar 12, 2010, 03:08 AM
I won't tell you what to do either. It is your choice man, but I will tell you what I get from her actions. She is needy and she sees you as a way out of her situation. SHE IS STILL IN High school which is never a good sign for someone to date if you're not. Honestly I personally wouldn't do this however it is up to you. You have to decide if this is the type of relationship you are wanting, but remember that this will probably not turn into a long term relationship and even though you told her about you painful past doesn't mean that she will not do it too. She may not, for all I know, but don't think that your story about your past has influenced her to do things differently in any way.
If you really want to buy her stuff all her life to try and make her happy be my guest man, but eventually her taste will get way too expensive for you.

luckystar4um
Mar 12, 2010, 03:18 AM
Well, this is not a type of relationship I want. What I want is a long term and healthy relationship. All we do is fight already, and I do not like that either. So what you think? Because we fight a lot for like couple weeks talking to each others. Larken85, you think I should not go deep in to this girl? Thanks for your advice!

Larken85
Mar 12, 2010, 03:23 AM
Yea for sure man. Don't go for her. She sounds like trouble to me. And I hate to say it but sounds like she was going to take advantage of you. If you are fighting this much, its really not worth it in my opinion for that reason too. Too many fights just makes things too hard to deal with.

kp2171
Mar 12, 2010, 03:25 AM
All we do is fight already

k.

We are still wondering about whether to pursue this because..?

Again... convince me why this is a good move. Sell me on it...

luckystar4um
Mar 12, 2010, 03:26 AM
All right man, thanks for your advice, I was about to break it off from her completely. But she's told me these stories about her family, so to make me feel bad for her or something. I just wanted to come in here to ask for others' opinions. And what I was thinking about her was right... I appreciate you being honest with me. Thanks man.

Larken85
Mar 12, 2010, 03:30 AM
No problemo man. Good luck and I hope it goes easy, though I know it's going to be tough. Keep telling yourself that you are strong and you are right. After that just do the deed brother. Have a good one. Need any help in the future don't be afraid to ask.

kp2171
Mar 12, 2010, 03:35 AM
Well... she doesn't like her fam. Welcome to most of us at some point or another. What the hell is functional anymore anyway?

Everybody "uses" others to get needs met. It isn't a bad thing generally speaking.

But if you agree to help her, it is helping her as a friend... not with the promise of anything more.