boredimso
Mar 11, 2010, 01:38 AM
A couple months ago, my fiancé and I had a big fight. We were supposed to go to a baby shower together but due to our fight my fiancé dropped me off at his parents house instead of taking me with him. I was very upset that he did this. No one was home at his parents house and I waited there for 7 hours most of which time I spent crying. I finally got a hold of him shortly after 8pm. The baby shower had turned into a BBQ and I could here the music and partying in the background. I was concerned about his drinking because I wanted to be sure he didn't drink and drive, and he assured me he only had 2 beers earlier in the day. He came home about an hour later and I was still angry at him for ditching me and when he didn't apologize we got into another big fight and we came very close to ending our relationship. Since then we have patched things up and we are getting ready to move into our new home together next week. Our relationship is better than ever and with the possibility that I could be carrying his child, we are very excited about our future together.
The baby shower was for his best friend Andy's sister. A few weeks ago I had lunch with Andy's new girlfriend when Andy happened to join us. He told me about how his ex-girlfriend had shown up at his sister's baby shower and how awkward it was for him. He then said that no one could stand her and the only person that was nice to her was my fiancé Greg and so because of that she was hanging all over him. That bothered me slightly because I wasn't there to witness the woman's actions and whether they were shady and since that was a night Greg and I had a big fight, I had no idea how he might have acted towards another woman's attention. But I let it go. That was a few weeks ago.
Then tonight, my fiancé comes home and says "I got a disturbing phone call. You remember Andy's ex? Dianne? Well she called me tonight and invited me to have dinner with her on her birthday. She seems really excited to meet you too. She says she's having a tough time right now. Randy was being a jerk to her at the baby shower. She was crying a lot and she said she really needs someone to talk to and she knows I will always listen."
That raised a lot of red flags for me. I don't know why but my intuition was sending all kinds of signals. Here is a woman who just found out her ex has a new girlfriend. Her ex doesn't pay attention to her at a party and here all of a sudden is my fiancé, Greg, a sweet guy with a big heart who listens. Of course she would gravitate towards him. Something about her calling him to "hang out" with her really really bothers me. I don't trust her at all and when I tried to explain how bothered I was to Greg he got defensive saying he was "concerned about her" and that she is his "friend" although I pointed out the only time they hung out together was when she was dating Andy. He shot right back that those two dated each other for four years and so he considered her a friend. I told Greg I don't like the circumstances of her wanting a friendship with him and something about the situation bothered me. He called me cold-hearted but I told him I hope he understands and see it from my point of view. If the situation was reversed I know he would be uncomfortable too. He's mad at me and he pointed out that he never even had to tell me about it and if he wanted to deceive me he could just hang out with her without telling me.
I trust my intuition and my gut was telling me that this woman is bad news. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I don't want my fiancé to think I am being controlling or ridiculous but this situation really bothers me. Should I let them hang out? I want to be supportive of his friends but I honestly don't think this girl just wants a friendship.
The baby shower was for his best friend Andy's sister. A few weeks ago I had lunch with Andy's new girlfriend when Andy happened to join us. He told me about how his ex-girlfriend had shown up at his sister's baby shower and how awkward it was for him. He then said that no one could stand her and the only person that was nice to her was my fiancé Greg and so because of that she was hanging all over him. That bothered me slightly because I wasn't there to witness the woman's actions and whether they were shady and since that was a night Greg and I had a big fight, I had no idea how he might have acted towards another woman's attention. But I let it go. That was a few weeks ago.
Then tonight, my fiancé comes home and says "I got a disturbing phone call. You remember Andy's ex? Dianne? Well she called me tonight and invited me to have dinner with her on her birthday. She seems really excited to meet you too. She says she's having a tough time right now. Randy was being a jerk to her at the baby shower. She was crying a lot and she said she really needs someone to talk to and she knows I will always listen."
That raised a lot of red flags for me. I don't know why but my intuition was sending all kinds of signals. Here is a woman who just found out her ex has a new girlfriend. Her ex doesn't pay attention to her at a party and here all of a sudden is my fiancé, Greg, a sweet guy with a big heart who listens. Of course she would gravitate towards him. Something about her calling him to "hang out" with her really really bothers me. I don't trust her at all and when I tried to explain how bothered I was to Greg he got defensive saying he was "concerned about her" and that she is his "friend" although I pointed out the only time they hung out together was when she was dating Andy. He shot right back that those two dated each other for four years and so he considered her a friend. I told Greg I don't like the circumstances of her wanting a friendship with him and something about the situation bothered me. He called me cold-hearted but I told him I hope he understands and see it from my point of view. If the situation was reversed I know he would be uncomfortable too. He's mad at me and he pointed out that he never even had to tell me about it and if he wanted to deceive me he could just hang out with her without telling me.
I trust my intuition and my gut was telling me that this woman is bad news. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I don't want my fiancé to think I am being controlling or ridiculous but this situation really bothers me. Should I let them hang out? I want to be supportive of his friends but I honestly don't think this girl just wants a friendship.