I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this.. but I hope some mom's read this and help me!

My mom is my absolute best friend. I can talk to her about anything. We have similar interests.

I still live at home. I have been thinking of the real reasons.. Main reason; Money. Second reason that I would like to categorize as the main reason too is because I think I would feel very guilty leaving my mom alone with my dad.

My dad is not abusive physically, mentally.. very abusive. He was recently diagnosed with Adult ADD and it has cleared up a lot of issues that arise. They have some problems within their own relationship that I won't get into right now.. But.. I just feel so torn knowing that I'm going to leave my mom some day with my dad.

Last night, my mom kind of talked to me about how she feels about me and my boyfriend and my boyfriends family. I distance myself from my boyfriends family because I feel like I'm doing something wrong. My mom gets so sad when the rare time is that I do do something with his family. She told me last night that is is preparing herself for his family to basically take me away because they are the type of family that is very close-knit. I keep thinking to myself, that if I did marry my boyfriend, then she would be invited to his families big holiday git-togethers.

I feel so torn inside. I haven't really talked to my boyfriend about this. Every once in awhile, I break down and spill out that weeks disaster. But those disasters are few and far between. He knows part of the big picture, but not the whole picture. I just don't want to tell him how I feel with my mom.. Not all the way. I don't think he'd understand. I know he would care.. but not understand in the way I would like him to.

I got a new job. It actually pays me! Yay! I've got this notion in my head that I want to move out by late summer. I know its going to kill her. I know she is going to cry and be sad.. yet happy at the same time??

I get mad sometimes.. I get mad thinking, "Why can't I start my life???"

I honestly, don't know what to do.

Please help!

Lucky, believe it or not as moms we are prepared for this eventuality. It has to come sooner or later. It actually doesn't hurt all that bad because the old saying goes 'if you love them let them go'. I am a mom, son moved out two years ago and I was just so pleased for him. He did so well on his own but he was already a good manager of money before he left. We have sort of the same situation as you; he didn't want to leave me alone with his dad because his dad is an alcoholic and it's a real roller coaster ride at times, but I manage.

Talk this over this your b/f and tell him how you feel about your mom; it will actually bring you two closer together.

I felt the same about my mom, loved her to pieces, good talks, good relationship but she was quite happy for me to move on with my adult life.

She isn't losing you entirely you know, and you aren't losing her, it actually makes you two more equal in adult situations.

Ms tick

Thank you for your input. I do need to talk to my boyfriend about this.. He asks every once in awhile. I usually blow him off.

I just hope that this horrible feeling I get when I think about moving forward in my life won't really be how it is.

Thanks again

Thank you for your input. I do need to talk to my boyfriend about this.. He asks every once in awhile. I usually blow him off.

I just hope that this horrible feeling I get when I think about moving forward in my life wont really be how it is.

Thanks again

You are worrying needlessly, if anything you and your mom will be closer. You are severing the apron strings but it doesn't mean you and she will love each other less. This is what is expected of you, she knows that in her heart and will support you every step of the way! I know the horrible feeling, we just love them so much and its hard, but you have a new life ahead of you, your mom knows that !

Hugs

Tick

Hi Lucky... When my son left home for college it was very hard. But I had younger kids and each time one left I would cry and
Not even go into their empty room for a couple of days. Our
Last child is now a senior at College. She will be graduating in
May and next year she'll be going a couple hundred miles away to grad school.

I remember we took her to college and helped her get her dorm
Room all spruced up! I cried all the way home and called her every night. I adjusted and now it's kind of nice . Your mother is a strong woman. I will bet she's going to be fine. She'll miss
You and will proabably cry but she like all mothers know we have to let our children go. She probably worries about you worrying about
Her.

I think you are a very nice young person to think about your mom
That shows her strength flows through your blood. Wait and see she'll probably do better than you think she will! Hug her close and tell her how you feel. You are a nice kid.:):)

As long as you keep in touch and visit her, you'll both be fine. And, once you have your own place, she'll be able to come visit you to get away from your father for a little bit.

as long as you keep in touch and visit her, you'll both be fine. and, once you have your own place, she'll be able to come visit you to get away from your father for a little bit.

You truly have a gift for saying the right thing.

Thanks guys :)