Hi All,

I am a Chinese national who is 28 years old. I had a complicated relationship with a girl from Uni long time ago. She kept on giving me hopes for four years and finally left me. And I actually had to end the relationship because of the mind torture she gave me.
This is my problem. Since I was having a feeling for I used to fancy her and masterbate. Eventually I got addicted to it. I fance her having sex with others like older people or other guys and masterbate. Now that she has left and 4 years have passed and I am still doing this. I think this is a serious issue. I have realised finally that I need to consult a doctor to come out of this dogma. Actually she was very mean to me those days. Now she is having a sexual relationship with somebody else to my knowledge.
Should I consult a doctor> How to lead a normal life like others? Is there a way to stop fancying her and masterbate? I hope you will help me without looking at my problem in a disgusting way, because I am willing to change and be a better person. So guys please help me..
Thank you all..

I don't think you've got a problem, or that you need to see a doctor.

You're simply using her as your fantasy when you masturbate. Lots of guys do this, but they might use a porn star or a model or an actress, or the girl down the street.

You feel strange because it's someone that you used to have a relationship with and that hurt you. Perhaps it's your way of possessing her in your fantasies.

Don't worry too much. You might look at magazines or some porn and see if there is anyone else you fancy. Once you meet a new girl, you'll think of someone else.

I don't think there is nothing wrong with you!

I thank you first, well its true that I'm a bit hurt too because she is now having a sexual relationship with a good friend of mine and the try to hide it from me too..

Anyway its good to know I do not have a big issue, yes may be I am trying to possess her this way, I will try looking at porn or fancying others and try to masturbate, above all what I need is a healthy relationship with a girl, because 8 years I have wasted fancying her and I need to lead a normal life I feel.

I agree with you dilanmaxx. You do not have a problem but you need to fixate on someone else. Get her out of your head. This is something that'll never totally happen (I still imagine my EX and she cheated on me. Matter of fact that is what I imagine her doing that gets me off for some reason) I thought I was sick because of this but I think in reality its just that I found her very attractive and watching her have sex would be errotic in my opinion. It's good that your friend is trying to protect your feelings but he should have never gone out with the girl in the first place in my opinion. Stay safe and out of trouble bro, and go get yourself a nice new girlfriend. Its time to do better for yourself.

Well Larken85,Thank you first.. well may be they try to hide it from me. But something I do not understand is this. Recntly he asked me if I still feel for her and as a friend of both he could help each other out to get things back on track. If I do not then still he would be a friend for both of us. But I know that they live together in another country. I also got to know that this girl is troublin this guy to marry her and he refuse..
I don't know buddy, well I do not want this girl back for real, all I want is to be away. But my friend's attitude who is living together with her is questionable and fishy?