I am a male that has had my daughter since she was a year old. The mother doesn't supply anything for her, she regulary makes excuses why she can't get her. My wife and I have many times asked her to come and watch her daughter at sporting events, but she refuses to come. Then the other week she told me that she was going to watch her oldest daughter in a color guard comp. Now a little back ground on this women, she had stated before when asked to sign my daughter over that she couldn't or she would lose her food stamps, her oldest daughter lives with her father, and mine with me, and she has her youngest with her.

My wife has been the mother to this little girl since she was three, she takes care of dr. appt. school dealings, sporting events, and even vol. for the girl scout troop when they had no asst. troop leader.

Over the years of this our hope of her changing has gone away and now I just want to remove this unhealthy relationship from my daughter's life so that she can focus on more inportant things than if her real mom is coming to get her or if she is going to call at the last min. with a stupid excuse.

What can I do in pa to gain total custody from her, I already have 80 percent physcial and we share the legal

I don't know what you mean by total custody. The mother (unless she's a danger to the child) retains her rights as a parent.

What do you want that you don't have?

If you are talking about your wife adopting the child you need the written consent of the mother and it doesn't appear that she is willing to sign. Of course, getting a child support order and enforcing it may change her mind.

There is always a possibility - just to warn you - that you could ask for MORE custody, the mother could file for MORE custody and custody as it exists today could change in her favor. That's the risk of going to Court.

Is she paying child support?