My ex broke up with me in the end of September so he could be free to do what he wanted to do... (you know what I mean about that) I was devastated since this was my 1st relationsip with this guy and it lasted for over a year. I was told my every psychic I talked to that he is my soul mate which is why I can't seem to get over him... all of those people turned out to be duping me for money... but only one guy who isn't really a psychic told me that he was actually sleeping around after he broke up with me. My-ex doesn't know that I know what he has been doing and at some point I know I will be confronting him about it... I was told that he was my lesson from God to learn how to forgive. I had asked God for a sign and he sent me 2 dreams that involved him. I was told to ignore his calls until he realizes what he has done. If I want him back and I want him back reformed I have to continue doing this. I just want to know if this is what I'm supposed to do... and if so How long will it take? I know me not calling him is working because he went from pushing me away to calling me all the time asking why I'm ignoring him... I just need some help... Thanks for your time

Ok, first of all, stop it with the psychic crap and the whole asking God for signs and interpretting your dreams. Hate to be so brutally honest, but all of that means nothing. It's just a bunch of hocus pocus that keeps you fascinated with the novelty of it all... kinda like reading his horoscope...

Get back down to reality and realize that no amount of praying or whatever is going to change his mind.

No contact.

If he changes his mind, he'll come back to you.

My ex broke up with me in the end of september so he could be free to do what he wanted to do...(you know what i mean about that) I was devastated since this was my 1st relationsip with this guy and it lasted for over a year. I was told my every psychic i talked to that he is my soul mate which is why i can't seem to get over him...all of those ppl turned out to be duping me for money....but only one guy who isnt really a psychic told me that he was actually sleeping around after he broke up with me. My-ex doesnt know that i know what he has been doing and at some point i know i will be confronting him about it...I was told that he was my lesson from God to learn how to forgive. I had asked God for a sign and he sent me 2 dreams that involved him. I was told to ignore his calls until he realizes what he has done. If i want him back and i want him back reformed i have to continue doing this. I just wanna know if this is what im supposed to do...and if so How long will it take? I know me not calling him is working because he went from pushing me away to calling me all the time asking why im ignoring him....I just need some help....Thanks for your time
You know in your heart the truth , you feel it, you know it , and the one who has the answer for that question is you, if he loves and respects you he would not do what he does,and now you , do you love yourself? Do you want to have another heart ache? Do not get addicted to that, people get used to good things and to bad things, you decide

Yeah I know... after he broke up I was blaming myself... and once I found out all the stuff that was going on... I finally started focusing on myself and trying to become stronger... the old me would have picked up the phone a long time ago and had been talking to him and remaining naïve... now I realize things and know what he did... and will not tolerate it... now he is realizing something too... and in my heart... I still love him... he just doesn't deserve my heart right now... and I'm letting him figure that out himself... because when something is mutual... it can be beautiful... and I have faith... is this wrong?

What you need to do honestly, stop talking to psychics, although I do believe there are genuine gifted people out there. I have had my own experiances. From experience what you need to do is pray to God. Let God give you answers to your questions. Let God be the one to show you through these periods. You need to figure out what is the purpose of this experience and what God is teaching you. How can you live according to Gods will. Trust that God is with you at all times, no matter what may happen. Sometimes the answer to our prayers are yes, and sometimes no. We need to ask his will in each of life experiances and let him be our guide. Now as far as how long will it take? How long what will take. It is your decision on how long you want this to go on for. You need to make decisions in this life we all have that free will. Each decision we make whether it turns out to be a bad decision or good decision is a lesson in life. How we handle that lesson is just as important. I do believe that you are young and you will have plenty of options in front of you but does it just have to be that one that you think is the only one?

Joe

I do pray and I asked God for answers... and I got 2 of them... I have not been talking to a psychics anymore and instead talk to a mystic... who told me to leave it to God and ask for a sign to see if this is right... I just needed some sort of guidance that is God assisted... he also told me not to focus on my ex and focus on myself since I am more important right now... It feels right in my heart... now it's a matter of trust... I have already accepted what he had done and forgiven him since God teaches us to forgive... now I just need to know if he genuinly cares and if I can trust him again... it takes time I know this... im just so impatient and tired of games... Now he calls and says he misses me and asking why I have been ignoring him... not knowing that I know what I know... "dont betray what you know"... im just waiting for the right time...

He is absolutely right, I normally say this in my answers. I felt like answering it in a different way today, but to focus on yourself is more important right now. Please repeat this and read it again. You know why. When you focus on yourself and even just keeping busy with your own commitements guess what is going to happen. When you least expect something is going to change. It is a known fact. When your searching and getting impatient. Things will mess up and trouble is just a brewing. When you learn how to become patient.

Ah ha, Lesson number 2 from God.

PATIENCE. You need to learn patience. This is very important to God. It should to you as well. Patience will bring you eventual peace. Impatience will bring you strife.

Joe

Sorry it makes no sense to me to stay in love with someone who has done as much wrong to you as he has. Concentrate on yourself and build a life you enjoy without him and be ready for what the future brings.Do not call him, he is not ready to give you what you want You deserve better. And keep your money in your pocket, for what psychics charge for we give away free.

Trsut me... I know what you all are saying... thing is... he did not cheat on me during the relationship... meaning he did not sleep around while he was with me... it was only after we broke up that he did... guess he didn't want to feel guilty... he's 18 so I'm letting him do his thing... trust I don't approve of it... there is some point in everyone's life that they have to grow up... mature... not everyone goes about it the way he is... this is his time... and now he is realizing what he gave up and what he gave it up for... u know what I mean... atleast he didn't string me along and kept me in a relationship and cheated on me... that would a totally different situation... yes he hurt me... but people deserve second chances right? I don't plan on giving him that second chance until he deserves it and this time it will be on my terms...

Trust me...i know what u all are saying...thing is...he did not cheat on me during the relationship...meaning he did not sleep around while he was with me....it was only after we broke up that he did ...guess he didnt want to feel guilt

Good point, that would have been much worse if he had cheated on you. I think you are right, he wanted to finish it to prevent this from happening. This is in a way to prevent guilt as you say, but also if he felt that he was going to do this then it was only fair to finish with you and avoid hurting you. That is not to say that what he has done is justified but the thing is, he has done the right thing by finishing with you first. He is obviously not ready as you say to be in this kind of relationship and at 18, I am not surprised.


he's 18 so im letting him do his thing...trust i dont approve of it...there is some point in everyone's life that they have to grow up...mature...not everyone goes about it the way he is...this is his time

Good, and while he is doing this, move on with your own life, don't even think about getting back together with him. There is a good possibility in fact that this will never happen. I don't want to shatter your hopes but you just need to work on yourself, find a life without him...


and now he is realizing what he gave up and what he gave it up for...

Are you sure he is realising this now? What makes you say this?


people deserve second chances right? i dont plan on giving him that second chance until he deserves it and this time it will be on my terms...

Sometimes, yes people do... but I would not think about second chances at this stage. You need to give yourself time to heal and focus on you for a change.. The worst thing you could possibly do is wait around for him to Mature and do his thing as you put it..

Life is too short! I hope it all gets better for you soon but of course, you must take as much time as needed to heal because it really does take time (as I'm sure you are aware).

inuanimefreak,

First of all - dreams are messages from you to you. Your subconscious is trying to tell you what you should do. Be your own psychic, listen to the voice within, Trust your instincts and intuition. Trust your dreams. Back off. If there is to be a relationship, there will be. You can't make someone love you.

You say you have faith.

I say, "We have faith until we believe and we believe until we know."

You know it's time for you to move on. You know there is someone else out there for you. Someone who won't mess you around. Someone who won't play games with your feelings. You know that's true, don't you?

Sorry it makes no sense to me to stay in love with someone who has done as much wrong to you as he has. Concentrate on yourself and build a life you enjoy without him and be ready for what the future brings.Do not call him, he is not ready to give you what you want You deserve better. And keep your money in your pocket, for what psychics charge for we give away free.
I can appreciate loving someone even after a big betrayal, and forgiveness is a good thing but when you don't love YOURSELF enough to take precautions from getting hurt over and over, then something is definitely amiss. Like they say, hurt me once shame on you, hurt me over and over and I must be the one in trouble since no sane person signs up for that. Real love doesn't ask that of us, either.

You are right Inuanimefreak that until you see some definitive thing to point to that says deep changes have occurred in someone, you are not to trust them.

My ex broke up with me in the end of september so he could be free to do what he wanted to do...(you know what i mean about that)

It’s over. That is your clue.


I was devastated since this was my 1st relationsip with this guy and it lasted for over a year. I was told my every psychic i talked to that he is my soul mate which is why i can't seem to get over him...all of those ppl turned out to be duping me for money....

That’s what psychics do. They are fake. Surely, you had to know this.



but only one guy who isnt really a psychic told me that he was actually sleeping around after he broke up with me.

And probably before.


My-ex doesnt know that i know what he has been doing and at some point i know i will be confronting him about it...

Why? He’s your ex. He has the right to do whatever he wants. Confronting him is only going to make you look foolish.


I was told that he was my lesson from God to learn how to forgive.

It was your lesson in life to learn. You can CHOOSE to forgive. You don’t have to be taught.


I had asked God for a sign and he sent me 2 dreams that involved him.

That was your own brain, not God.


I was told to ignore his calls until he realizes what he has done.

You were told correct. Ignore them forever.


If i want him back and i want him back reformed i have to continue doing this.

You don’t want him back.


I just wanna know if this is what im supposed to do...and if so How long will it take?

Yes you are supposed to ignore him. It will take forever if you don’t want to put up with him hurting you.


I know me not calling him is working because he went from pushing me away to calling me all the time asking why im ignoring him....I just need some help....Thanks for your time

You know your doing the right thing. You’re a sweet girl, you don’t need this guy and you can find someone better. I worry for you though because you put meaning into things that have no meaning so I strongly suggest you be careful with the next guy and take it slow.

Had to spread it Chuff but that was you at your brilliant best.

So simple but powerfully true! Just brilliant.

Chuff's advice may seem blunt inuanimefreak, and actually it is, but it is spot on the money and you would be well served by listening to it!

Where have you been Chuff? Getting that job I hope!

Okay, In, you sound like a very spiritual girl. And praying to God, in my opionion for guidance of any kind is always always always a good thing. God, will always guide you and you will know in your heart and head when it is the right thing.

You do not need a middle person, such as a mystic or physic to be heard, you can go directly to the big guy yourself, but you know that.:). As Tal said, keep your money in your pocket and you always have us here to talk things through. Plus, you sound like such a bright girl with a very good heart, you keep praying, and take the direct route :)

Had to spread it Chuff but that was you at your brilliant best.

So simple but powerfully true! Just brilliant.

Thank You.


Chuff's advice may seem blunt inuanimefreak, and actually it is, but it is spot on the money and you would be well served by listening to it!

Inuanimefreak, I, along with the rest of the posters on this board, only have your best interests in mind.


Where have you been Chuff? Getting that job I hope!

No I seem to be getting the blow off. Argh!! I just don't understand where it went wrong. They seemed so interested. But alas that is a different topic all together.

Geoffersonairplane agrees: Chuff offers really good advice, he breaks it all down, I like his style of response.. I adopt this method in my responses & the advice he & Skell has given me has really helped me move forward! I suggest you read this one over a couple of times!!

Thank You. On a side note how are you doing Geoff? I'm glad you stuck around.

"talaniman agrees: You show up witha bang don't you? You are absolutelt right here though and I think in time she will change her feelings, as we all know what she is going thru. Time will be her healer."

Thank You. I like to make an impact, what can I say. Did absence make the heart grow founder? LOL.

Why won't it let me rep anyone? Grr, well Chuff, I'd spread it if I could, great advice. To the original poster, its terrible that you had to go through this and I feel for your situation. Take the advice given here, and let this be a lesson learned; stay away from 'his type', and you'll do fine.