I was dating my ex for about 1 1/2 year. Our break up wasn't pleasant and not mutual at all. We have not talked to each other since then. I've been on NC close to 3 months and I suspected she may be seeing someone new. Recently, I found out that she will be relocating to Australia. Should I send her an email just to wish her?

What's the point?

No. Don't do it.

Although we are no longer in talking terms, I thought maybe I could drop her an email just to wish her all the best? I've only been in two relationships and she was the first one that I could feel so connected and I still love her very much...

Don't e-mail her. Your relationship ended and she's moving on to a new life. Let her go!

Yup you should definitely email her and reopen wounds that haven't healed yet.

What is the best possible outcome of this?

She will email you back and say 'Thanks.' I can totally see why you would want to risk your own mental state and feelings for the sake of a 'Thanks.'

What's the worst possible outcome?

She sends you back a rant about how she doesn't ever want to hear from you again or a touching email about how great her life is now and how excited she is to be going on a new adventure in her life or the best of all you get no answer at all and kick yourself for being so stupid as to put your heart on the line for someone that is out of your life and soon to be out of the country.

In case it wasn't clear I do not think this is a good idea.

Bad idea.Why would you?

Leave the ex in the past and continue getting on with your life.

No way do you contact her.

I know that I will be opening up a can of worms if I were to send her the email. I love her dearly. I couldn't sleep these couple of days after hearing the news and I woke up in the middle of the night with tears in my eyes. She's got a promotion and that's why she's relocating to Australia. I thought maybe by sending her best wishes would be nice since we were once a couple.

I'm glad for her achievement but on the other hand I feel belittled (just a bit), as I'm still a junior and she's already a manager. Is this normal? I have not fully recovered from the break up, as she's someone I thought I would spend my life with. Part of me still want her badly and sadly I know she no longer wants me. It hurts.

I wouldn't email her yet, I would wait until she is engaged, then show up at the alter and plea your love for her at that time.

Yes u should email her or something
U may never see her again and it couldn't hurt too much
Goodluck

I don't know how to explain it but I do get a little uneasy when I got to know that my ex's career is advancing to the next level. It's like she's doing far more better off without me. She's been traveling a lot to different part of the world for her work but that didn't happen when she was with me. And now with her moving to Australia, I feel regret for treating her badly in the past when I was angry. Maybe we could have moved together to Australia. I feel that I'm stuck here with the past where else she'll be starting a brand new life in another country. This feeling is kind of eating me up. Does anyone experience this feeling before? How to overcome it? Should I even send her a congratulation email for her promotion?

Leave her alone, and stop being jealous. Its obvious she is applying herself well, and maybe that's what you should be doing, instead of crying in your soup at the one that got away.

Hello Sleepy,

Sorry Buddy... I wouldn't if I were you. That's just me though.

You say the break up wasn't pleasant and not mutual at all so that makes me believe she left you.

She does not deserve best wishes, at least not from you. Let her go and that will reasure you that its over and you will have to move on.

Let her go - it's over. Don't open up all the old wounds. What benefit could it possible be?

I was a little emo and went on to send her an email. She replied, to my surprise but she was lying about the promotion and said that it was some kind of rumors. I can put my hands down that the information was accurate. Why does she need to lie? Guess what's next? She wanted to catch up but I'm not ready. She could be ready maybe because she has successfully transferred her loving to another guy. I could be wrong, but it seems like the case. I have not replied her email. Do you think I should?

No I don't think you should.

If you want to move on, no contact at all is your best option.

I don't understand why your so intent on renewing something with someone who dumps you, and then after you contact her, you think she is lying, and now want to renew contact with her, but she has someone and your not ready.

This has no logic, or purpose for that matter, so you tell me the purpose of this exercise.

I was a little emo and went on to send her an email. She replied, to my surprise but she was lying about the promotion and said that it was some kind of rumors. I can put my hands down that the information was accurate. Why does she need to lie?

She was lying? How do you know this for sure? Even if she was it is her business to share or withhold should she see fit.


Guess what's next? She wanted to catch up but I'm not ready.

How unreasonable for her to think that you would want to catch up, what with you initiating contact and all? I cannot see where she would think that you are OK with contact!


She could be ready maybe because she has successfully transferred her loving to another guy. I could be wrong, but it seems like the case.

She hasn't 'transferred her loving' to another guy, she's moved on! And maybe you should too.


I have not replied her email. Do you think I should?

Do I think you should reply, no! I think you should leave her alone, no good can come of this as the majority of us said before.

Tal, I just thought of sending her a 'best wishes' email and didn't expect anything in return. I'm currently going through some emotional turmoil after reading her email. Honestly, I was shocked when I saw her email and I don't think I will reply anyway, as I could still feel the pain. Why she wants to catch up? Certainly she has moved on, but why?

Nobody can answer those questions-only your ex knows why and how she has moved on.

What's important is that you start moving on yourself,so don't reply to her email,go proper NC and allow yourself to heal.

To her its okay to be friends, but she doesn't know your not ready, able, or willing for that kind of step. Its evident that you still have feelings.

But in my email, I have not mentioned anything about catching up. Yet, she got the nerve to lie about her promotion. Another point is, I have to agree that the feelings are still there - mixture of sad, love, and anger. It still hurts at times.