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View Full Version : Why men ask for space and stills keep in touch


aprilmora
Feb 21, 2010, 12:25 PM
Threads merged and post edited


Here comes my whole history, by boyfriend and I meet one year ago and well was like love at first sight he always comply with everything he promise me and he never told me a lie or something was a very cheerfully relationship even being along distance one because he is in Canada in the medical school finishing his doctorate about child development he finish in June so in November he came to my city and we spend beautiful time we were so sure that we were soul mates and talked about future and get married we also saw the engagement rings, the in January 1 he dumped me because he can't handle the university the research the hospital and as he said follow his heart, he asked me to stay as friends for now this let me completely devastated because I really trust about him, then almost all January we didn't talk and in February he started to contact me and call me abby or baby like when we were together we keep in touch one or two times per week las time I asked him about our future he said when he finish the doctorate in June everything will be clear, sometimes he say indirectly he loves me and directly that he miss me and how special I am to him and he never could forget about me, I always being supportive maybe I pushed him a little bit when we were together but was because I loved him I still love him but I giving him his space, he have an amazing relation with my family and with me even when he appear and disappear

Why my ex that ask for space still keeps in touch?
He asked for break up because he need space to finish his studies in may and have several tests and he can't screw them up his whole career is there, but he stll keep in touch and well he is sweet and nice with me and name me in sweet names like baby abby etc, and when he comes online he just talk to me and if I email him something he email me back almost inmediatly, he told me give him time and space and w last time he said when he finish the doctorate in may everyhting will be clear, but he miss me for sure, he is in canada right now
Thanks!

Do you think he going to come back to me?

talaniman
Feb 21, 2010, 12:40 PM
Be it man, or woman, when they ask for space, and keep contacting you, they are making sure you stay in their lives, and don't move on. They do this to not only relieve their own guilt, but to clear the way for them being free to see other options.

Real couples that are committed, don't have to break up to concentrate on tests, or any other nonsense. They work together to make time for the things that are important to them.

Talaniman Rule- When a partner needs a break, for whatever reason, give it to them, and disappear from their lives, and don't contact them.

Or your saying "its okay to dump me, but I will stay friends, and hope you change your mind someday, and take me back."

Thats pure BS, and you don't give someone that kind of attention, that only wants you when the have time in their busy day.

You deserve to move on with someone who appreciates the time you spend and shows it, and gives you attention back. Thats a healthy relationship.

Anything else is unacceptable. Don't you think?

I wish
Feb 21, 2010, 01:10 PM
I'll agree with talaniman. Asking for space means a break, asking for space means an almost break. If he's still keeping in contact with you, there is no break, there is no space. You just don't see one another as often, but you aren't broken up.
I say you ask him right on what a 'break' means for him, what 'space' means, where you two stand. Otherwise you needn't answer all his calls, all his emails, all his attempts at communication, what kind of space is that?

neverme
Feb 23, 2010, 11:06 AM
I think that there may be a chance that this relationship could work but both of you need to want it to.

The question is, do you think so little of yourself that you would just hang around until he decides to throw you a bone?

If this relationship is, or any for that matter, is going to work it needs to be a partnership with both parties giving equal amounts to the relationship.

I would take him at his word and call this relationship over until you hear more. Move on, get out there and see what else life has to offer. You deserve someone that wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them and shows that with their actions, not their words after the fact.

Devorameira
Feb 23, 2010, 11:13 AM
It may be that he is truly busy with going to school and trying to make a living. Why not wait until May 25th and see what happens? If things don't change shortly after he finishes school, then I would suggest that you move on.

amicon
Feb 23, 2010, 11:28 AM
I assume your asking about the same guy as in your previous post?

When they say they 'need space'you give them all the space in the world.

Don't reply to any of his communications-don't wait around for him to change his mind and don't be his backup plan.

Imabadman
Feb 23, 2010, 11:47 AM
How many times are you going to post the same question?

talaniman
Feb 26, 2010, 08:06 PM
Did he actually dump you, or just ask for space to get his schooling done. There is a big difference.

vanheart
Feb 27, 2010, 03:02 AM
The answer is no.

Hes not coming back to you.

chickie543
Feb 27, 2010, 06:16 AM
He wants to keep you around BUT he doesn't want you as his girlfriend. You must be really heartbroken. The longer you keep talking to the him, the more you are going to get hurt. This is not fair to you or your heart, you need to move on and find someone who would die to be in a relationship with you.

sully123
Feb 27, 2010, 08:16 AM
So you will put your life on hold for this man. I don't buy it. When he is through medical school maybe then it will work out. When you love someone and want to be with them, you don't throw them to the side. I suggest to move on and find someone else.

aprilmora
Mar 12, 2010, 11:19 PM
Stress ruin my relationship?
well I found the perfect man, I feel is my soulmate we had 1 year relation, everything was perfect, even my family loved him and he made lots of efforts and spend money in this relationship but thins January everything ends he dumped me beciase he is stressed and overhelmed and he feel pushed by everyone and don't have time for nothing just to finish his postgrade in Canada, they just allow one student every 3 years, he is not dating anyine and sometimes he keep in touch and is sweet with me he also insisted in stay as friends for now and he say he never could forget about me and he miss me
what you think we really loved each other last November we saw the engangement rings

he was a sweet relaxed man and then when he feelt pushed by the hospital and the last semester fromt the postgrade he changed


I have my own goals guys I'm art teacher in the university and I run my own bussines is a flowershop =D and he was the one that started the commitment we just saw the rings and talked about

amicon
Mar 12, 2010, 11:52 PM
It seems nothing has changed since the last thread you started about this guy-time to let go of false hope,realise that its over and start moving on.

His feelings changed and you need to focus on you now,heal and get back to living your own life.

coruzzi2
Mar 13, 2010, 01:01 AM
You got to let him go.
Live your life. And let him live his.

Let him get his stuff straightened out, and maybe down the road you guys will find each other again and happily be together.

aprilmora
Mar 21, 2010, 01:01 PM
Threads merged again, please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread

We broke up in January because he is tomuch busy for a relationship becauase he have to finish his postgrade so tday is my birthday and he sent me a card wishing me happy birthday, he always say things can change between us when hin finish his postgrade

Devorameira
Mar 21, 2010, 01:08 PM
I can't tell you if he is still wanting a relationship with you or not, but he was evidently thinking about you on your birthday (which is a good sign). :)

amicon
Mar 21, 2010, 01:26 PM
I hope you have the best possible birthday.

Sadly, my advice remains the same as in your previous posts,I think you should heal from the breakup and move on.

He broke up with you,rather than find time for you.

Many people lead superbusy lives,but still manage to find time for their relationships.