Here’s my story guys... I’ll try to be short…

I’m 28 and I was with Isabel since my 16 yo… We dated for 6 years and we were married for 4 years so we were together for 10…
In 2007 I found that she was seeing another guy, she cheated on me for 1 week and I found that she got laid with him…we broke up…
I cried, I begged, I did all I could to have her back but that guy was in her head and there was nothing I could do and I said to myself.. OK Ricardo.. move on! She doesn’t love you anymore.

2 months after I was dating another girl.. It wasn’t love… it was just an escape for me.. and when she (Isabel) found out she got confused.. she didn’t know if she wanted to be with me or with the guy…
For the next month I was dating that new girl, she was still dating that guy but we were seeing each other.. I was a kind of her lover..

We did that for 1 month (being lovers) than she broke up with that guy and I broke up with my “new” girl…
We were trying to get things right but I was confused.. Many stuff for my head.. I didn’t know what to do.. I was with her but I didn’t want to because of what happened..
I didn’t know if I could live with that because I trusted her 101% before that happened.. I felt that I needed some time for myself and I moved to another country… I wanted to be far from everything, only with myself…

I spent some time alone, met new people on the new country, but I always had contact with her. Actually she was my girlfriend but I wasn’t with her, at least every day because we were living in different countries…

Then.. I met a girl.. a Polish girl.. she is pretty, the most sweet person you can ever met, funny, kind to everyone and innocent.. but ffs she’s not the most intelligent girl in the world.. Well the perfect woman/man doesn’t exist right?

I was dating her in that country and also dating my “ex”(Isabel)… I didn’t know what to do and if I should let my girlfriend (Isabel) and start a new life with the Polish… I “loved” both.. they are so different… I think I didn’t left Isabel because I didn’t know the Polish girl so well, I was dating both for 6 months only..

Isabel, visited me 1 or 2 times in that country… and after that I found out that Isabel (who was still dating me at that time) was confused… and one night she got drunk.. and I found a Messenger log where she told the guy who she cheated me with, that she missed him, she was sexually attracted to him etc etc.. When I found that I say enough!. She said that it meant nothing to her, that she loved me, that she was drunk, that she only happened that time in MSN etc etc… and to be honest I believe that but… I returned to the country I was living to be happy with the Polish girl..

4 months have passed…Isabel found a new boyfriend.. and I was (kind of) happy with my relation with my girlfriend until the day she (my ex) started to send me messages…

I was happy with my relation with the Polish girl.. she is really sweet, beautiful, crazy and she gave me what my ex took from me: confidence… She is someone that I can trust 200%... she’s completely transparent.. the things I don’t like about her is that she is “too innocent” and sometimes she loosk a 19 year old girl… etc.. But I was always trying to compare her with Isabel… I know.. BIG mistake… everybody is different but…
Sometimes when she did something wrong I always thought “Oh.. Isabel would not do this, Isabel would be smarter, Isabel would etc, Isabel etc etc etc.” …I never forgot Isabel… sometimes we went to visit a place, and I thought a lot how Isabel would like to be there and see that scenario etc etc…

And I started to think that she was not the right girl for me… Meanwhile Isabel left her new boyfriend… and we started to speak again… seeing again (when I flew to my country)… etc etc.. And everything was OK with us.. of course that we were not seeing too much, only some weekends 2 in 2 months etc…

Then we had an “idea”…

I left the country I was leaving… my job… everything… and she did the same.. I didn’t want to go back to my country because she had her “ex boy’s there” and she didn’t want to go to my country because I had my “ex-girl’s” there… so we choose a country to go…

I left my Polish girl but I never told her why… I just told her that I was not happy on that country and I will try to find a better life… and maybe one day we will see again…
She wanted to go with me but I told her to stay…She told me that she really love me and that she will wait for me…
I wanted to explain what really happened but I was not strong enough… coward I know…

Me and Isabel did a trip around Europe for 2 weeks.. and then we arrived to the new country to start a new life.. Everything went well on that trip.. I felt I was in love but.. when I arrived to the new destination things started to go bad…
I don’t know what happened, maybe was the start of a new life, a new country, different cultures, maybe was the fact that I didn’t have a job yet, maybe was the fact that I didn’t have a good house yet etc etc I don’t know..
What I know is that I started to think about the Polish girl that I left behind… I started to think if we will ever be happy (me and Isabel), and I got so confused..

I was pi*sed off everyday, trying to find a job etc etc and we had many discussions… She didn’t feel that I loved her, result: she went back to our country alone and I stayed here…

Now, I don’t know what to do.. if I should go back to the country where the Polish is and start a new life with her, if I should forget her forever, if I should stay here some more time alone and see what will happen… etc etc..

I’m here for 2 months and still can’t decide what to do.. I still think about both… Maybe I’m afraid to be with Isabel because of the future and what can happen, but the truth is that I really believe in her right now but my mind can’t forget what happened… About the Polish, it’s a different culture, we are not the same country, her English is not that good (people tell me that she can learn but she is living in an “English speaking country” for 3 years and she didn’t learn that much), maybe I’m afraid to bring her one day to my country and doesn’t work… Sometimes I feel that she will never grow up (she is 25 now)…

Please help!

Dude, you got some issues. I'm not trying to be mean, but I think you should get your act together before you decide to date again ever. You can't take what you have and throw it away at hopes that something from the past will be better, you can't be seeing one girl and telling her you love her, and then screwing around on her. When you go into a relationship, you should be with her, and only her. If you feel that you found something better, don't try it until you dumped the girl you have, if you're unhappy, don't go exploring until you dump the girl you have. There's another thing, don't lie to them. Just tell them the truth. Man up, don't be a coward, and tell who ever you decide to be with what is really going on inside your head.

If you can't commit to a single girl at one time, and be honest with her, you don't deserve to be in any relationship.

Thanks and You're right, I really "have" some issues... I forgot to mention that both girls know what happened... The Polish knows that I left her to be with Isabel... and Isabel also knows what I did when I was with the Polish... I don't deserve anyone now, that's why I'm alone... but time is not helping me... I keep thinking about both... Just trying to understand that... could I ever have a future with Isabel after all this.. Wish I'll an answer..

I don't believe that you can love two women equally. I don't think the problem is choosing between these two women. I think the problem is that you haven't really learned to take care of yourself. You aren’t treating these women good - you are actually lying to both and misrepresenting your availability.

My belief is that when you cannot choose between two women and feel "in love" with both, that you are not actually in love with either one of them. Both of these women satisfy a different need of yours.

You didn’t say anything about what YOU provide for either of these women. You seem way more focused on what they do for you. In a mature relationship, we give and take equally. You are taking from both of these women, but what are you actually providing for them? Seems like you need to get your own life in working order before you make any decisions!

Sorry for the got, it just fit the situation. Don't be depressed about it, try to focus on the good things in life and just let love happen. You'll never get anywhere trying to chase it down, especially when you try two or three different avenues.

I have been dating this one girl for over two years now. Recently, my first serious girlfriend contacted me in hopes of getting back together. She was my first love several years ago and left me, never explaining why. We had great times, never fought, dated for over a year and a half...

I moved away a few months later and have never had the chance to see her again. When she contacted me, there were some really deep buried emotions that were brought up, and desires I had thought I had long forgotten. For a couple of weeks I ignored her, and was in a sort of emotional turmoil. Eventually, I told her that it could never happen, because I am happy and have committed myself to my current girlfriend. It took a lot of effort to just step away like that and say no, but I knew what was right, and I knew what I would really want when that new found emotion wore off.

Good Luck.

Sorry, but it is you my friend who should grow up and get a solid life for yourself, and then worry about someone to share it with.

Your going about this completely backward, and hop from girl to girl, and country to country.

Get a job, and work on yourself. Then you won't be so confused about a roof over your head at least.

Leave the girls alone until you learn how to deal with yourself better, and won't be so confused about the females.