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View Full Version : What do you think his intentions are?


AJ_007
Feb 16, 2010, 04:41 AM
I met this guy on a house party arranged by my best friend and that first meeting with him was quite a thing to remember for the rest of my life!
He was extremely courteous and chivalrous to me n my girlfriend till he got drunk... The moment he got dizzy, he started getting physical to me... tried to kiss me but I managed to put him back to his sense (one tight slap did the magic!)... The very next day, he called me up to apologize and claimed that he lost his sense and that’s why he misbehaved with me…. Ever since then he's been trying hard to prove that he's a gentleman otherwise... so this valentine's day, he asked me out for breakfast, took me to a plush restaurant and we ended up talking till evening... then he dropped me back home as he had to meet his sister n asked me to join him for a drink by evening... I met up with him again in the evening... He talked about himself, his family, his friends and his past relationships to me... Later on, he invited me to his place... he made me talk to his sister over the phone… he even prepared tea for me, made me feel extremely comfortable with him and then dropped me back home... The next day he called me up to say that he'd want to meet me again... So, do you think this guy is for real? What could be his intention? Because I saw him at his worst the first time and at his best the last time and am confused now!

jaime90
Feb 16, 2010, 10:48 AM
My opinion: he's not being real. When you meet a guy who appears to be interested in you, you can bet that he's putting on a show. (same thing with gals.) People hide their negative qualities and try to be nice in order to win someone over. This guy seems like an expert at the craft.
He's TRYING to be a gentleman, if he WAS a gentleman, there would be no such thing as trying, it would be effortless. I suggest backing off and just being friends with him for a while until he shows his true colors (the night he was drunk could've been his true colors showing.) This could take months or years of friendship. So be patient.

I wish
Feb 16, 2010, 08:20 PM
No need to jump to conclusions about him. You've known him for less than a week.

If you think that he's being sincere and if you're willing to give him another shot, then just keep getting to know him better. No need to rush anything. No need to get out of your comfort zone.

Again, it's been less than a week, no need to jump to any conclusions about whether he's for real. At the same time, trust your instincts. If you see red flags, then proceed with caution, but don't let that stop you from enjoying your time together.

CarrotTalker
Feb 16, 2010, 08:54 PM
I agree with the above posts.

I just wanted to add that I find it is strange he talked about himself most of the time and asked you to talk to his sister.

It seems like he is trying to make you too comfortable with him.

Fr_Chuck
Feb 16, 2010, 09:08 PM
Don't forget the drunk that was rude.

I don't understand why you even gave him a second look,

talaniman
Feb 18, 2010, 10:58 AM
You have had fair warning that he is an idiot when drunk, that's something to keep in mind when he invites you for drinks.

He obviously intends to charm you, but in all honesty, its you who have to judge, but another fair warning, whatever his intentions he is moving rather fast, for me to be comfortable, and maybe you should observe closer, and really pay attention, so you can see what his intentions are.

He seems much to determined in my opinion, to make you comfortable, and impress you. You better be careful.

AJ_007
May 6, 2010, 02:53 PM
Threads merged

This question is related to my last post...
Yes, I am still dating this guy and trying to know him better...
Unlike the first time, he never ever tried to touch me without my permission till date... even when once I got (purposely) sloshed and let him take care of me... But now the situation is something like this... He's in abroad and gives me a call once in 2 weeks or tries to come online and catch up with me... He feels that I am emotionaly guarded and at the same time pretentious too; and I feel he's trying strategically to get me emotionally vulnerable... He intentionally didn't contact me for a week and then calls me to say that "Wow! even after a week, I dont find the love lost"... Yes I like him but I want to take time before I convey that to him... and he says he'd fly down to my place only if I accept that I'd be interested to meet him... Well, I didn't express it through words but he knows for sure that I like him and miss him too... What do you recommend that I should consider thinking/doing before I take this relationship any further?

Alty
May 6, 2010, 03:44 PM
Sounds like both of you are playing games with each other.

Tell him how you feel, stop playing around and expecting him to figure out how you feel and what you want.

bswc
Jul 14, 2010, 10:24 PM
Try to express yourself more to him, lower your defensive shield girl! A man has ego, I suggest you feed his ego, it can be rewarding!

kp2171
Jul 14, 2010, 10:39 PM
Too many games here.

Who is head screwing whom?

So... he would be willing to chase you hard if only you chased him hard or asked him to chase you or maybe he wouldn't ever chase you he just wants to make it your fault.

Screw all this.

You are a bad match.

Period.

Until you both can find some common ground and stop the games... you are not a good match.

Might not sound nice to the ears. Don't care.

no... actually I really DO care.

At this point he is either too needy for you or you are too distant for him or both or I don't know... all I know is that you aren't meshing from Both Sides.

If you can't talk this out together, one with the other, you have no sustainable future.

And that might be OK. Sometimes good people who like each other are bad matches. Happens all the time.

All
The
Time.