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lilcutiee
Feb 8, 2010, 10:15 AM
Hiya

This is so complicated, so any advice would be great!

So I was with my boyfriend for 2 years when I was 14 and he was 15 and we never slept together.

We have been on and off, and now we have recently realised how much we mean to one another so are back together!

However, he told me the other day that his ex who he was with for a short while when we broke up is pregnant and due in July!

The pregnancy was not planned and he isn't thrilled about having a child with his ex, however he will support his child!

I'm now 18 and he's 19! I've wanted a child myself for sometime but decided against it, until I am old enough and earning enough money to support a family!

As much as I love my boyfriend I am having a lot of trouble accepting that he is going to have a child, which we had always spoke about!

I am also worried that he may go back to his ex when the baby is born, even though he has assured me over and over again that he won't, as I have seen this happen to a friend of mine and I really don't want to get hurt!

I know I'm only 18 but I always worry about My future and think about my life if we were to stay together, would him having a child effect our relationship and how?

Any advice on what I should do would be great!

talaniman
Feb 8, 2010, 10:30 AM
He is having a child, that will mean the child, AND the ex will be a part of both your lives. Its great when adults can work together for the sake of the child but the truth is that exes cause drama and resentments among partners sometime. That ranges from jealousy, to manipulation, and control by one or another of the adults.

Its not easy, just read some of the posts here about "baby mama drama" and you will see what I mean.

Romefalls19
Feb 8, 2010, 10:31 AM
Yes, it will affect your relationship. You have to ask yourself, are you going to be able to handle his ex being apart of your life for the rest of the baby's life? It's a lot to ask and expect of anyone, let alone an 18 year old. He will forever share a bond with her, not many people can handle that.