So, let at first say that I am 22 years old. I met my ex-gf when I was 17 years old and playing in a band. We were eachothers first, but I didn't want to date her because I didn't have enough money to make the relationship work(because of seeing her, gas money, taking her out to dinner/movies), so I decided to not date her. She goes mad, and hates me. She then through out my teenage life keeps in contact with me and we hang out every once in a while(every 6 months or so). We hook up, and that's about it, but I still didn't want to be in a relationship with her because I didn't have the time or the money to be committed to one person. In my senior year of high school I get a new job making decent money and date a few people from when I was 17(local ones because I could afford gas and such) to 19. None of those lasts because we just didn't click so It wasn't a big loss to me. But when I was finishing up my senior year of high school, this girl(my now ex) sent me a text message saying she wants to be with me still after all the years have past. I tell her I have a new job and blah blah blah about my life. We meet up and hang out, and I can finally make this relationship a meaningful one because I have the funds to drive up and see her every weekend and take her out to movies dinners, and just have fun. We date for 2 years and fell madly in love because it was what we both wanted in our lifes, and I am happy because I know I can now give her everything she wanted, that I couldn't when I was younger.

She tells everyone, all her friends, all my friends, "I finally have him. I finally have my husband and my soul mate." And I agree, and I was happy that I held out this long to date her because I knew if we dated when we were younger then it most likely wouldn't have worked out.

After the 2 year mark she breaks up with me saying, "she doesnt know what she wants" "I dont love you anymore" "I dont want to be in a relationship with you anymore" I am crushed, and I feel like my world is falling apart, I was 20, turning 21 soon, and she was 19, turning 20 soon. I said, "I can't make you love me, and I can't make you want me, and if you dont want me or love me then I hope you find what you are looking for in life." and hang up. 3 and a half months later of NC she has her mother call my house explaining to my parents that she couldn't cope with losing me and she made a big mistake and that what she said wasn't what she meant to say and that she is sorry and wants to work this out. So I decide to give it another chance because I felt as if... if you have your parents call my parents to get us back together then you probably really do love me. So we talk, and she tells me she found the light, she says that the grass wasn't greener on the other said and found out what she wanted in life was to be with me, and said that she can't live without me and that we are soul mates. So we get back together.

1 year later, guess what happens? What do I do? I feel hurt... Its been 1 month of NC. I'm not the kind of guy to give second chances, and I did... I feel stupid, and weak. I'm the kind of guy that when you break up with me I don't ever talk to you again. And we haven't talked since a month ago, and I'm going to keep it like that. When she told me the same thing she said to me 1 year ago, I basically said, "Well if you don't love me, then I can't make you love me. Good luck in life, and I hope you find what you are looking for." And then I hang up.

Its not that I care about losing her, because I am a very logical thinker when it comes to break ups. I have given her everything I have. I am 22 years old. I am going to school to become a nurse and I have a year and 3 months left to get my RN. I work on the side making 40-50k a year while going to school full time. I have my together, and I given her everything she ever wanted, because that's what I do when I am in a relationship. I am a nice wonderful guy, I am faithful! I stick up for my partners and always give them compliments, flowers, and so on. Monthly cards, like happy 34 months, next month happy 35 months. Etc.

I am just upset with myself because I gave her a second chance. I should have never done this. I should have never DATED her because I knew when I was younger that there was something weird with this girl. And I though, this is to good to be true. How could someone love me so much without even knowing who I was. I should have never dated he. I noticed things were not going to good on the second time around when she stopped inviting me to family parties, weddings, and anything family related. I don't know why I didn't see the signs... But if she was troubled about things that I have done(or lack there of), don't you think she could have at least tried to talk about them with me to try and fix things. To work on the relationship. It feels like I did all the work, all the patching, and all the loving in the relationship.

Not to mention a week before she left me, she was texting me how she can't live without me. That she loves me forever, and ever, to the moon and back. Even writes it on the fridge board at my house, "I heart chris for ever"

Thanks for reading. All I wanted to say was...

Don't GIVE SECOND CHANCES. If someone leaves you, or someone is thinking about leaving you then you most GO. Don't wait around for no body. If someone says they don't want you, or is confused about life, or doesn't know what they want. Leave. I will never ever, ever give a second chance to anyone, for as long as I live. I have lived by this my whole life after my first love broke my heart(when I was 15 years old), and I have been through at-least 5 relationships before the recent one ended(we dated for 3 years). I can tell you stories of each one. Every girl I had after my first love, I have pretty much ended things. I left them and did NC and have keept it like that forever. Never talking to them again. As soon as someone makes a mistake with me I am out. I don't do second chances. But with this most recent break up. I gave it a second chance, and I am so upset with myself. I feel... like a weak pathetic person. :confused:

So to everyone out there hoping for a second chance with someone. Trust me, history will ALWAYS repeat itself. Once you break up(even over something little) you did it for a reason, because you have standards and if that person isn't up to your standards they will never be, and you have to find someone who treats you right and if up to your standards. We all have things we need out of a relationship and we shouldn't settle for anything less.

Thanks for the read,
From a guy who knows what it feels like and is surviving the deadly heartache!

Oddly, I agree with your post, and can feel the hurt behind it.

It's a shame we learn best by pain.

Love is a risk that makes you take it.

Oddly, I agree with your post, and can feel the hurt behind it.

Its a shame we learn best by pain.

Love is a risk that makes you take it.

Thanks. There is so much she has done to me in the past... I should have left her a long time ago. Why does love have to be so bliss, I thought it took two to tango.

I can agree with most of you story, like that myself. But,don't be hard on yourself for being who you are. Something was telling you to give it a chance,it didn't work, so be it. She lost. Just remember you might be the one needing a 2nd chance one day. Next time think longer before you think of giving the 2nd chance. Its hard to know when to give it, bounce it off some friends 1st. Really sucks when you give so much and it is not returned or is thrown away.Makes it sting more.

Threads merged

Its been 1 month since NC went into affect. The ex after being with me for 3 years has not tried to contact me since she told me those 7 harsh words we don't ever want to hear...

I feel abused and torn apart. I keep wondering: How can someone who once loved you do this to you? Although, the pain DOES subside over time, looking back I can see that I was much better emotionally then the first week of the breakup. I can actually say that I MIGHT survive... As weird as that sounds.

So, why am I worried. I am worried that I will not find my true love. I was VERY much in love, at least I thought I was in love. I keep wishing she tries to come back or contact me so I can deny her... I feel so ashamed of myself for falling in love... Maybe what we had wasn't love. Maybe I wasn't in love. I don't know because If she doesn't love me then I guess it wasn't love...

Im back on the horse, and I promise you all, that from this day forward, I will not go into a relationship again unless the girl is PERFECT for me, because I don't want to get hurt, EVER EVER EVER again.

:'(

My girlfriend dumped me of two years... was the hardest thing I ever went through... your doing the right thing man of No Contact. That will only make the healing faster and make you stronger! I promise... there's going to be those days where you wake up at 4 am with this black cloud of death over u, but you got to push forward. It does get better, and you will begin to love again. Don't rush it, take it slow and find yourself again. At about 2 months of nc, the pain subsides a little the at month 3 a little more. I won't lie it's the slowest process ever, but the sun eventually begins to shine behind the clouds and you begin to gain site of that green hill far away. May god be with u.

Why did she dump you, did she say those 5 words that no one wanted to hear? "I dont love you anymore?"

No man... some times its even worse when they don't say it, because then you keep that false hope and promises as if they still do love you and you keep holding on, and its harder to let go. Be grateful she said she didn't love u, in a sense that should give you closure and a sense to really move on and find that person that does love you and appreciate you. When you meet that person you will know. After she broke up with me it took 8 months to heal and then I met a new girl. I fell in love again and then 5 months later guess what... she dumped me and broke my heart. Maybe nice guys finish last who knows? All I know is that when it hit me it didn't hurt as much because I knew I could fall in love just like I did last time... that you, it takes a long time to heal but eventually you begin too open up again.

Im back on the horse, and I promise you all, that from this day forward, I will not go into a relationship again unless the girl is PERFECT for me, because I dont want to get hurt, EVER EVER EVER again.

:'(

Part of living is taking chances; you never know who is "perfect" for you until you get to know them...

I'm just saying, don't close your heart to opportunities to develop relationships. When you build walls around your heart, you're the only one that it hurts.

Best of luck in the search :)

Your still freshly hurt, but your doing better, but in time you will see that there is no such thing as perfect.

Don't worry about a relationship, just enjoy the people you meet, and accept them for who they are.

The whole key is establishing a relationship with yourself, and being happy with who you are. Not putting your happiness in the hands of a perfect partner.

You ever think that out of all the females in the world only one is perfect for you? That's crazy, and a false premise.

But you will see that for yourself when all the emotional dust settles.

You ever think that out of all the females in the world only one is perfect for you? Thats crazy, and a false premise.

But you will see that for yourself when all the emotional dust settles.

I use to believe in soulmates...

Here is our last text messages to each-other 1 month ago:

After the break-up a few days after of NC, I texted telling her I loved her, and that I believe that this is a big mistake and that I would do anything to fix our situation. I told her that I loved her, and that I really do believe that God made her for me. I said all the sappy stuff that everyone in love would say, I even said these words to her beforehand, when everything was okay. She even told me we were soul-mates a week before she dropped the bomb on me. She didn't text me back until a few days later. It was Saturday night(11ish PM) and I get a text message from her that she wants to talk about my text message. I told her I was out with friends and we could talk about it tomorrow. And she said "um okay"

The next morning around 8ish AM I texted her saying:

"if you dont want to be in a relationship with me and don't feel the same way as me then there is no point in talking about it"

And she replied with 2 hours later:

"you have no idea what i was going to say. and i can see it not important to you anymore. so i think i made the right choice. maybe oneday we can be friends"

Then I texted her back saying:

"if you dont want me anymore and dont love me anymore there is nothing you can say to me. and im sorry we can't be friends anymore and i just want you to know that you are going to loose me forever. at least i tried and followed my heart and gave it my all. I think you made the right choice too and i can see now that we arent made for each-other. you dont want kids and you are a different religion then me and you dont love me and dont know if you love me anymore. i really do hope you find what you want in life and this just tells me that my soul-mate is still out there to be found. im sorry but im going to change my number and be gone forever. thats not to say i wont ever forget about you because that is a lie. and always remember to try your best in school because i think you have what is takes to get to where you want to be. dont let anyone tell you different. and dont setter for anything less then your expectations because you will never be happy with yourself. remember that this is a new chapter in our life and we choose how our book is written. i hope you find what you want in life. by XXX im going to miss your hugs and kisses"

She then texted me saying:

"you dont need to change your number"

And the last words we ever exchanged was my last text message I sent which was a month ago:

"Okay but im not sure ill ever have the same number forever i will have the same e-mail forever tho. i want to hear about your life later down the road once these feelings pass and once we both move on. so save my e-mail because i saved yours and i want to hear about all your accomplishments later in life not right away tho, but when your at the palce you want to be and when we are older and have a family and kids i want to hear about it. no. i would love to hear about it. i can't wait for it. I want the best for you because i love you and i want you to be happy even if its not with me. it makes me happy knowing that you are happy. and i dont hate you im not angry or bitter. so save my e-mail ok lol. and ill be sure to let you know about all my accomplishments. life is tricky but in the end itll all workout. if we are meant to be its meant to be even if we are 50 years old i thin k we still still love each-other and care about both our lifes. im happy now tho im happy with my life. with our without you in it. goodbye please dont text me back."

Yeah... This was out last conversation until NC was put into place. I think I handeld it like a true man. Whatya think?

I think if your satisfied, so am I.

The thing about soulmates, if they stand the test of time then you were right about them, if they don't, you were... mistaken.

Hope you find yours.

Well. Its been exactly one month. And I can tell you that the pain has subsided a lot. I still feel like my ego is busted. And I feel like I won't ever find love again, but I hope to one-day find it again. Someone to hold me and care about me, is what Im searching for. Someone I can talk to them about my day. My ex has not tried to contact me so this is good. I finally moved on to the stage where I am letting go. Although, I still have memories of our times together. Like how we first met and how we were so in love. I woke up today thinking about how could someone who was so in love with you just up and leave, and I am lost trying to figure out the missing parts. I think that there is something wrong with me, but then I think: If she could have once loved me, then someone else could love me again. Right now I am still hoping that she gets really hurt like I did. I know now that there is more to life then relationships. I have decided to stay far away from women until I am done my studies because I do not want to play these games while I am in school because it takes away from my studies and my future. Thanks for everyone who supports me... I am still sad, but a different kind of sad. I just hope she finds what she's looking for because when you love someone you want the best for them, and if I was not the best then I hope she finds the best.

Congrats man, I'm on day 29 0f no contact... almost a month... and you dude its killer. My ex hasn't contacted me and even though you hope they don't, every time your phone vibrates your hoping it is them! It's a crazy thing! Keep strong man... will eventually get through this and find the ones that will love us unconditionally. Good luck buddy.

congrats man, im on day 29 0f no contact.... almost a month... and ya dude its killer. my ex hasnt contacted me and even though u hope they dont, everytime ur phone vibrates ur hoping it is them! its a crazy thing! keep strong man..... will eventually get through this and find the ones that will love us unconditionally. good luck buddy.

Yeah I know its rough. But this is how it hasto be let us just remember that we are men, young men at that with our whole life in front of us. They will come back oneday but we will habr moved on from the situation. And I can't wait for the time to come. As of right now my heart is closed to love for now. Even though there might be ladies who want me, I no longer. Feel like dealing with the whole dating thing and getting to know a person and their family. I will wait for the one for me and we will know when that time has come hopefully.

Amen bro!! You dude, I'm closed up totally... I have no desire to date, I just feel numb even to the most beautiful women... I know there are better days... I have been through this before, but this one hurts more because I loved her a lot more. Keep strong man, do things you never did before and reinvent yourself... I love playing the guitar and composing and singing... your in a band... you know music does wonders emotioanlly for the soul.. let it out in your music, its very theraputic!! Keep strong and keep us updated.

Good Luck! I hope you find a great person who will treat you as you need to treated!

The worse thing is... I know she will try and come back into my life because I am so far ahead of life then she is and she will notice one-day that she has nothing, her boyfriend is nobody, and her life is going nowhere. As my life will 100% go somewhere and hers won't. She will try and come back once she realizes what she had, and I am afraid that I won't be strong enough to ignore her. But we will see, maybe in a few months or even a year I will have forgotten... I will be the test... if true love lasts forever, or if that is just fairy-tales.

The worse thing is... I know she will try and come back into my life because I am so far ahead of life then she is and she will notice one-day that she has nothing, her bf is nobody, and her life is going nowhere. As my life will 100% go somewhere and hers wont. She will try and come back once she realizes what she had, and I am afraid that I wont be strong enough to ignore her..

If you accept it's over and get on with the healing process you won't want her if she comes running back , believe me. Because you won't have all the emotional turmoil that's going on in your head now and you'll see the reason it didn't work in the first place.

Glad you are doing better. It will take time, but you will meet someone else.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I wish I could go back to my own-self... I wish I could function without being with someone... I wish I could be happy being alone... That is what I will try and do. My goal is to be 100% happy being alone in this world. That is what I will try and accomplish. This is something I have to-do for myself. This is what I have to-do for my life. Mark my words, this is not the end... I will be alone and be happy. Would it not be amazing to just wake up and be alone and be happy, this is something I will try and do, try and accomplish in my life.

It's a great goal and you'll get there sooner than you think.

Being happy on your own is about building a relationship with yourself and finding out who you are and what you want in life.

If its meant to be its meant to be. But chances are when she finally "understand that we are soul-mates" and if she ever comes back... She would have already hooked-up with someone or kissed someone, or had sex with someone, so there is no really going back.

Nobody knows what the future holds-with this person you have the experience of her past actions,and now you are free to create your own present and your own future.

You're in charge-good luck.

I have been dealing with my emotions pretty good now. It just hit me that I have not even thought about my ex for 2-3 days straight, and if I did it was only for a split second with no pain. That got me thinking... if the last 2-3 days were easy... I wonder how another 2-3 months could make me feel.. Although, I am thinking now about it again. Right now I am mostly thinking about how she might be with another man, doing the dirty, or cuddling up next to someone. I hope she is, as people who tend to go from relationship to relationship quickly end up getting ted on. Hmm... Even if this new guy was a close friend, or she was planing it for a while, it would never work because she was planing it while she was with me... So therefore that means that she used him as an escape goat to ease the pain from her situation. She will only realize how big of a mistake that is once he cheats on her, abuses her, or he leaves her for another woman, or she leaves him/cheats on him/etc and then he ends up leaving her... that the emotions of me will come straight running to her heart. I believe that if we don't deal with the emotions of a break up like real normal human beings then the pain will ALWAYS be there until we deal with it. To deal with the pain to make it completely go away you have to understand that going out with someone right away and/or having sex/kissing someone else/cuddling someone else is NOT the way because you are just masking the problem... because when its gone, or its not there when you need it... it will always be there to haunt you. Right. Right.

Instead of thinking about what she might be doing,and with whom,keep thinking about how so much better you will be feeling tomorrow,next week and next month.

Yeah I guess you are right. I mean she didn't even want kids or anything, so its not it would have worked out. I hate the feeling of what ifs and about holding on to someone that doesn't hold onto you. Hmmm, if this is how it has to be then it has to be this way. Even though its very hard for me to imagine giving up on love it is amazing that people in love can do this. I don't know what love is anymore and I really do want to be in love again someday.

Bin all the 'ifs and whys',overanalyzing the past is not going to make you feel any better.

When those thoughts pop up,get busy-and change your way of thinking.

Don't worry about future loves now-when you're ready,it will happen again.

When you have gotten rid of the baggage of the past, then you will be ready for the future. That's what healing is about.

Thanks guys. Healing is hard... But I know that is what we have to-do in life. I know that EVERYONE goes through this. Why did I think I was not going to go through this. I knew that when she was going to turn 21 that it would be over. She's young and beautiful and prob has guys all over her all the time. Why would she want me... I am just one guy who is going to school full time and has no time for her. I was just hoping... praying to God that she would understand what we could do when I was done school... The sky would have been the limits. Could have had a nice house, nice things, and nice benefits... I guess young girls don't think about the future... I hate that all I do is plan for the future... damn me.

Do your thing and you will succeed, and someone who can keep up with you will appear because you both will be going in the same direction.

Talaniman Rule-Never define yourself by an exes viewpoint.

Thats why you never beat your own self up after a break up. Her rejection will fade over time, and with your own successes, and accomplishments

I know what you mean... But this girl has really ed my head up... I mean she came after me, she WANTED to be with me, and now she does not want me anymore. I have never been treated like this before... I know this will make me a stronger person in the end but right now it just made me so upset. I feel like she is getting the last laugh and I lost. All I can do is pick up what's left of my dignity and move on. But its so hard... When I love someone I love someone with all of my heart... I will never do that again. Besides I am to young to be like this. But it just makes my life harder because I have to do good in school and focusing on my schooling has been really hard. I wish I could just take a year off and gather myself but I know that I would regret that because when I take that time off I would have already been done school and I would have already been over it by then most likely.

I can understand it, but the life lesson to learn is how to cope with your feelings, and situations that life throws at you. You think your upset now, just wait for when life does get tough.

You will learn as you grow. For now though just leave her alone, and do your thing.

I can tell you that the more you reflect on her, the more you get distracted away from what you should be doing.

The hardest part is her family. They wanted us to get married. They treated me like their son in law. Her father always said I was their son in law. I WORKED with her father when I was out of work. How can you let that go. I was never so close to someone and their family before... It was my other family. I talked to all her family, they knew me, they talked to me, they kissed me goodbye and greeted me all the time with hugs and kisses... I just don't understand. They wanted us to get married. But they prob just wanted that because they knew that I was a good man. That I was going to gibe their daughter a good life. Thts prob it. Have you ever had that before?

LOL, I have know the family of exes that I got along with better than the ex. To bad you can't get rid of the exes, and keep the family. You never know though, after you have healed they may interact in your life in the future. For now get over the ex, and keeping in touch with her family won't help that. Its one of those things you will miss about this relationship.

I mean, I have done NC before with other girlfriends but it just sucks. We will see where life takes me I suppose.

Still going strong guys!!


19 more days until 2 month mark! WHOA! I feel much better then I did a month ago. I just got done my one nursing class, one more semester until summer break!!

Feeling sad... Feeling weak... I am still alive guys... if anyone cares that I am still breathing. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. My love is like a fountain of water that just keeps getting stronger and stronger. Never ending. I just don't understand anything in life anymore. I see my days go by slowly... they all merge together. It just really hurts, my heart and my body aches. I don't cry anymore but the pain is as real as anything... But I guess its better to feel something than to not feel anything at all...

Feeling sad... Feeling weak... I am still alive guys... if anyone cares that I am still breathing. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. My love is like a fountain of water that just keeps getting stronger and stronger. Never ending. I just don't understand anything in life anymore. I see my days go by slowly... they all merge together. It just really hurts, my heart and my body aches. I don't cry anymore but the pain is as real as anything... But I guess its better to feel something than to not feel anything at all...

Trust me, some days you'll feel completely fine then other days you'll feel like crap. But one thing that is certain is that is does get easier. If humans never healed from breakups could you imagine how many of us would be miserable all the time? Hang in there, be strong.

Trust me, some days you'll feel completely fine then other days you'll feel like crap. But one thing that is certain is that is does get easier. If humans never healed from breakups could you imagine how many of us would be miserable all the time? Hang in there, be strong.

Some days I feel like I am super-man... I lost 55 lbs in a little under 2 months. I was 225 lbs... now I am 170 lbs. I look really different... I just can't eat anything much. I feel like I am morphing into a new person. I look like I did before I met my EX. If humans never healed from a break-up then everyone would be in a ty mode, you are right. I feel right now that I can NEVER trust another woman. I keep telling myself that this will NEVER happen again. I will not love someone EVER again. I don't want to go through this pain again, ever again...

I feel for you, I really do. I went through a bad breakup last year. He was my first as well. I had troubles eating and sleeping. I too felt like I could never trust again, but at the same time I felt like I would never love someone as much as I loved my ex.

Then I realized something. Life isn't going to wait for me to get over this. My friends are going to continue living, life is going to continue and I needed to decide whether I was going to sit there and pity myself or get act together. Everyone needs to take time to heal but breaking up isn't the end of your book, it's the end of a chapter.

What you're feeling is completely normal. I am now with someone new... and to think last year I was sure I was never going to love again. But I took what I learnt from the last relationship, and because of that I am a better person. You will through this, and I have no doubt in my mind that you will love again.

Wow... your message has brought me to tears. I am so happy from your words. It feels like you have opened up my eyes...


Then I realized something. Life isn't going to wait for me to get over this. My friends are going to continue living, life is going to continue and I needed to decide whether or not I was going to sit there and pity myself or get act together. Everyone needs to take time to heal but breaking up isn't the end of your book, its the end of a chapter.

SO TRUE!! OMG!! Yes...

And now its time to start writing a new chapter!

Was doing good... But today was especially hard on me. I am starting to cry again about it all. Is it normal to go from strong to weak to rock bottom? I feel like since it has been 2 months I should not be this upset anymore. It hurts so bad to know that she has not tried to come back to me or at least talk to me. The pain is so real... I don't know what to-do in life anymore. HELP!

You just let it pass like any other storm that sweeps through your life. Like any other bad day at work. Why? Because bad as it is at the moment, it will pass and get better. Hold on to that thought.

I hope you are right. Gah it hurts a lot sometimes but I guess id rather be hurt then nothing at all. Ill let this be a reminder of how we shouldn't let our emotions get all crazy!

Sounds like you're doing quite well. I started lurking on these forums after my break up. A lot of good advices here.

Here's a little background info on my situation:

Dated my GF since I was in HS. This was my second serious relationship. I was with my first for 2 years and she left me for another guy. Then I ended with this girl for more than 7 years. She ended recently telling me she doesn't know if she loves me anyone and it may be caused by the fact that she's never been with anybody else (I guess emotionally and physically). And she's not certain as to whether I am the "one" for one to spend the rest of her life with. It was a bit easier as this wasn't my first lost, but still a huge blow cause I was at a different stage in life and was really thinking about the future.

I haven't really done the NC rule yet as all my friends are linked to her. Secondly, I am very close to her family. I've decided to keep in touch with her family due to personal reasons that I've decided to not disclose. I know the way I'm handling isn't the best, but I think It'll work out in the end.

GL with your end.

Listen to these folks because believe me... they give great advise! I've been through quite an ordeal and they shown me that you have to be happy with yourself and be your own person first. Don't let her be a part of you the rest of your life because that's exactly what is going to happen if you close yourself off from the possibilities because of your experience with her... It's a hard thing to do, but move on and don't stop loving. It's who you are so don't let her change you...

Sounds to me that dating women is a waste of time. Seems to me that people just can't be happy with what they got. Its really sad that people don't stay in love... Really pisses me off. But there is hope... As I would think there is a woman out there who doesn't fall out of love when they fall in love...

Sounds to me that dating women is a waste of time. Seems to me that people just can't be happy with what they got. Its really sad that people dont stay in love... Really pisses me off. But there is hope... As i would think there is a woman out there who doesnt fall out of love when they fall in love...

Sometimes we can all feel that this is the case but IT'S NOT.

Most of us go through the trials and tribulations of dating and Relationships until you find THE ONE , so just learn from the one's that don't work and remember just because 2 people don't necessarily get on and can't live with each other doesn't make either of them a bad person.

Just be happy with yourself and the rest will fall into place when you least expect it.

Originally Posted by Adapa
Sounds to me that dating women is a waste of time. Seems to me that people just can't be happy with what they got. Its really sad that people don't stay in love... Really pisses me off. But there is hope... As I would think there is a woman out there who doesn't fall out of love when they fall in love...
Its funny how we feel like this when we go through a break up, I know I did, but when your ready, and look around, you will try it again, trust me.

So... my ex messaged me on face book. She messaged me cause I had this on my comment:

Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. ~1 John 3:18

So she took the time to message me on face book:

1 If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part; 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. 11 When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. 13 But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.


That's all she said. . HER. I AM OVER THIS. WHY THE HELL DID SHE BREAK NO CONTACT! HER.

Delete her from FB.

That will stop all confusing messages.

We are not friends on face book. I had my comments off privacy dumb me.

You man, it took me about 2 months of NC to finally have the strength to delete her off Facebook, because I was soooo concerned about her "feelings" and being the "immature" one and deleting her, but then when she posted a pic of her and the new BF on her profile... I was like WTFlip? Im an idiot being played like a foooool!! So bammmmm deleted that chik instantly!! Everybody plays the fool, there's no exception to the rule, it may be factual it may be cruel, but everybody plays the fool.

ya man, it took me about 2 months of NC to finally have the strength to delete her off facebook, because i was soooo concerned about her "feelings" and being the "immature" one and deleting her, but then when she posted a pic of her and the new BF on her profile.... i was like WTFlip? Im an idiot being played like a foooool!!! so bammmmm deleted that chik instantly!!! everybody plays the fool, theres no exception to the rule, it may be factual it may be cruel, but everybody plays the fool.

Yeah... She's acting all mature now, calling me a child and not a man cause I block her from my life. But... yet she is the one who broke no contact. I told her to ONLY e-mail me with your accomplishments LATER in life. I am not running or hiding, I just don't have any desire to communicate with her after how she treated me. She's acting all grown up but she's the one who broke up with me ON THE PHONE right before I was about to leave the house to go see her. How mature is that? No spine.

Who care's if she broke No Contact , the important thing is that you keep it up.

Delete her FB message , build a bridge and get over it.

Who care's if she broke No Contact , the important thing is that you keep it up.

Delete her FB message , build a bridge and get over it.

I was going to write back but then I was like... She doesn't deserve to have a conversation with me. The sad thing is... the first message she says to me after 2 months is a freaking bible quote... Pretty freaking crazy if you ask me.

Bump in the road-ignore and keep moving on.
It doesn't really matter anymore,does it?

Its starting to get nice out. And I am starting to feel a of a whole lot better. I think Ill do some spring cleaning in my brain and sweep out the dust and throw some memories away.

Great idea. Cobwebs out-happiness in! :-)

Its been a while since I updated you guys what's going on with my life. So here I go. Sorry if I type too much...

Its been crazy up in here... in my brain. But I know that I am really, honestly doing better than I was a month ago. I can now go through a whole day of school without the thought of my ex. And, when I am in the hospital taking care of patients she is not on my name at all. The only times I think about her is when I am not doing anything. And even then... the pain is not even there.

Right now the only thing I am going through is memories. Ill get these flashbacks in my head of the memories... but the pain is not there. I feel no pain from it. I am not depressed, but the memories put me into a daze that seems unreal. Its as if I am a bird and the gate is open and I am finding my way to the outside to finally be free at last from this curse that was put on me.

I have learned a lot about myself over the last couple months, and in 1 week or so it will be the 3 month mark. If something seems to good to be true... then it most likely is. Here are my plans though... I won't be falling in love anytime soon with any girl. And I am also not going to let myself get attached to someone in that sense anymore--until I know its meant to be. Life is to short to be clinging to one person... Like... How did I know she was the one when I barely even exp. Life myself?

Maybe that was what she was thinking. I can't blame her for wanting to know for sure if I was the only one for her, because honestly if she was thinking this than chances are later down the road I would be thinking the same thing.

So, in reality I think the split was a good thing. She did not want kids. We were not two peas in a pot. Because her religion was different than mine, and our educational background was really going off into different directions. As I've said before I am going to be in a career in less than a year, as she will finally start her 4 year college adventure(after many failed attempts for the past 4 years of messing around in community college).

She would still be at the same community college when I have my RN degree. Now, this is NOT good because I have GROWN up, and she not grown up. Its as if we did not grow up together. Actually, I know for a fact that we grew apart because she is still in the same place, she was when I met her. She did not improve her life since we started dating. When we first started dating she was at a community college, 3 years later, she is still at a community college. Where I have grown and have improved my life.

Now, I am not the one to not date someone because they don't have a education. But... I should have seen a red flag somewhere. There needs to be growth of a person that you see. And honestly, she did not grow with the relationship. Its as if she is still that little 18 year old girl that I started dating. Still at the same old community school, still playing the same games.

Now, when I think about this... it makes me wonder... Why did I not notice this before? Why did a red flag not go off? Surely... there is a problem somewhere when you look back at the 3 years, and the only person who has changed... is yourself. And your "so called" partner is still in the same boat, on the same journey she was when you met her... 3 years ago. That is pathetic.

NO WONDER she fell out of love with me. My life is changing right before her eyes and all she can see in the horizon is... the same thing she saw when we first started dating. She doesn't see a future because... she has no future lands sightings for 3 years now. Of course she doesn't love me, my journey is going across the Atlantic ocean, and she is still going in circles in the gulf of Mexico.

So, let me ask you. Is that a problem? Is it weird that she is still stuck in the same situation as she was, when she was 18 years old? No improvements, not growth as a person. She did not grow at all when we were together... but how come I did? Please answer me!

It's a different rate of growth for different people. Nobody's fault, that's just how it is.

That's just life Adapa-we are all different and some sail the Atlantic,others are happy to splash around in the village pond.

What she does isn't important now,focus on you and your own future.

You seen to be doing really well,give yourself a pat on the back.

Hey guys. This is just an update to my legendary recovery of the once broken heart-ed. I am doing fine. Scratch that, I am doing $#$##$@ amazing! I have been working out for the last month, and I have lost a lot since the break up. 225, now I am 164 lbs. I look great and I feel great! Damn, and can I say I have ALL the confidence in the world now. Almost have a 6 pack, and I Have a thinner face like a move-star look. I run/jog 10 miles a day! And this summer I am going todo a lot of running! 5ks, 10ks, and most likely doing a marathon! Working hard pays off!

Not to mention I have quit smoking and quit drinking! I haven't smoked in 3 weeks and I haven't drank one ounce of alcohol in 3 weeks. I am doing really good! I feel so much better about myself. Its so true... Working out helps relieve stress and it BUILDS confidence!

WOW! That's great:D and freaky at the same time... are you over doing it? Either way I'm so glad you are feeling happy:)

WOW!! That's great:D and freaky at the same time...are you over doing it? Either way I'm so glad you are feeling happy:)

Haha. Over a 3 month period? I don't really think it's that big of a deal. But I didn't start to loose A LOT of weight until I started running a lot. So I think I am fine.

Thanks for being proud of me! I was always told the best revenge is to look your best, and be the best. Be even better than you were before. :)

pureorganic... Thanks man, I really appreciate that! It does! Yay for getting into shape, and being skinny. I WILL NEVER allow myself to put on weight again like that. Not that I was heavy(mostly muscle from lifting a lot). I just don't like the whole big muscle things anymore and Would like I have an athletic build rather than a body builder look.

Update:

Last night I get a text a random text message from the dead. It says something along these lines: "I just want to clear some things up that I did not cheat on you. And I would appreciate if you stopped telling people that. Thanks."

Remember: No Contact has been put into place since day one. I have not told anyone that she cheated on me. AND, I did not respond back to her. What I don't understand is why she still has my phone number, why after almost 5 months is she still caring about what I say, or think. It seems kind of pathetic to me that she even talks about me, or tries to find out what I think. You guys have any ideas? Let me add, that I went to this music store a couple days ago, and one of those people that owns the place is a mutual friend of ours(I do not talk to them anymore, and the last time I saw them was 10 months ago), do you think that she got wind that I lost a load of weight? Also, we did not talk about anything other than music, and working out.

BTW: Life is good, into my senior year of nursing school(3 month summer break, then 9 months of schooling, then my RN). Im an avid runner(about 7 miles a day), and weigh a total of 153 lbs. And have been talking to a lot of women ;)

Don't worry about what goes on in her head, only she knows. But keep ignoring her, and enjoy doing your own thing.

I have a feeling that this is only the tip of the ice-berg... Titanic didn't fully sink yet... I'm scared.

It would be foolish to worry, or fear the actions of another when they have done nothing significant yet.

Don't give in to foolish drama, stay on your own path, and don't be distracted by NONSENSE. And don't let that nonsense and drama draw you into some BS, that has you defensive, and defending yourself.

Rise above the BS, or drown in somebody else's sh!t.

Two weeks later(or so): Text message >> "hi."

What do you all think about that! (of course I do NOT reply, EVER).

- comments please. What is going on here...

2nd chances are sometimes needed... but you can't always give them.

There isn't really much to think about.


What I don't understand is why she still has my phone number, why after almost 5 months is she still caring about what I say, or think. It seems kind of pathetic to me that she even talks about me, or tries to find out what I think.

You said it yourself. There really isn't any reason to try to figure out what she's up to or what she's thinking or why she's thinking it or any of the usual BS.

The second you start reading into any of that, you're feeding right out of her hand. Keep that in mind. Stay strong, keep looking forward and ignore the siren song tugging you back.

Ever have a pesky door to door salesman knock when you are busy? The minute you open the door and tell him no thanks, he will still try to sell you a vacuum cleaner.

So any reply opens a door to a sales spiel, when if you don't reply to that knock on the door, the sale man moves to the next house.

Ever have a pesky door to door salesman knock when you are busy? The minute you open the door and tell him no thanks, he will still try to sell you a vacuum cleaner.

So any reply opens a door to a sales spiel, when if you don't reply to that knock on the door, the sale man moves to the next house.

Lol... that is amazing. I love it. Do you think that is what is going on? And do you think it has anything to-do with me looking good as hell now?

Who knows what goes on in the mind of a desperate salesman?? That not who you want to attract any way. You want a cool winner to notice.

Who knows what goes on in the mind of a desperate salesman??? That not who you want to attract any way. You want a cool winner to notice.

Thank you... You guys have helped me through the roughest part of my life... my thread should be noticed, and my story should be read to know that LIFE DOES GO ON, and you WILL LIVE.

I hope you're able to really live by your own philosophy, whilst I agree, and always say if you go back what went wrong the first time will go wrong again, but if its resolved and dealt with that may not be the case.

Even so, there just might come a time in your life when you want a 2nd chance, and I also feel that everyone deserves a 2nd chance, once is a mistake but twice is blatant.

Whilst I agree this relationship you had with this girl wasn't going anywhere, that doesn't mean you have to tar every woman with the same brush.

Don't be so quick to say that's its over, sometimes it needs a 2nd chance for you to see the potential in a relationship.

Plus your words might come home to haunt you one day. We are all different, all unique, and we don't always live up to everyone's standards,

Take each person as you find them and don't be so quick to throw in the towel.

We don't have the right to judge others, only ourselves.

Be the best person you can possibly be for yourself and the best partner for you should come into your life.

Also let your heart rule the day once in a while, it feels good.

I hope youre able to really live by your own philosophy, whilst I agree, and always say if you go back what went wrong the first time will go wrong again, but if its resolved and dealt with that may not be the case.


Eh, I kind of read some offense in your post. But, let me just recap for you guys on some things in my life...

I have changed my number a week ago (because I DID NOT want to get another text from her). I don't even know why she has my phone number still, and I sure as hell don't know what "hi." means after almost 6 months of pure silence. I think its really pathetic that she still messages me, and I think its even stranger that she doesn't understand that after 3 attempts of contacting me(for the past 6 months) that I haven't replied to any of her messages. I guess she just doesn't get the hint that I have moved on with my life.

My life is looking pretty good right now. I am finally on my feet and can smell the roses.

The only explanation that I can come up with as to WHY she sent me those two text messages a week apart, and the text message: hi. Is because something happened with her life. Maybe that new boyfriend, or the guy she's seeing wasn't all that and a bag of chips. I hope so.

Although, lately I have been feeling kind of remorse for her, and I really do want her to have a great life. And I feel kind of bad about all the hatred I have in my heart towards her. I really can't be mad with her decisions in HER life, can I?

Remorse, sadness, and guilt, are feelings that you don't dwell on. It is what it is, as not all things have good outcomes, or the ones we worked for.

But that's a good insight you caught, its probably more to do with what's going on in her own life(and mind), that makes her text you.

Maybe she needs sympathy, or attention, or is bored, or is curious, or just needs an emotional tampon. Who knows, maybe she doesn't know.

But all the more reason not to dwell on her motives. Just stay on your own path.

I would like some opinions on this. I am very curious as to why my ex-girlfriend would tEXt me. I know you guys are just going to say: It doesn't matter--Just move on--or that only she knows what those tEXt means. But, nevertheless I would still like to know what's going on. Because I feel like knowing the actions, would surely give me a BIG ego-boost from knowing that I am winning in this game of life. She broke up with me early Jan. of this year.

First Message was on May 30th, and it was a text that read:
"Just wanted to clear some things up. I didn't cheat on you and I would appreciate it if you stopped telling people that. Thanks"
->I don't even know any of her friends, anyone she knows, nor have I ever said she cheated on me, to anyone.

Second Message was on June 12th and the text message was:
"Hi"

-> Remember, that I have never responded to her messages, ever. And I am cold turkey N.C. because that is what I believe in.

Getting a girls opinion on this would be interesting. And knowing what's going on will surely give me an ego-boost. Remember: I am not going back to her, nor will I ever--ever--ever--ever--ever--ever think about going back to her.

-> Also, after the "Hi" message, I changed my number. ^_^

This is an overly used technique. Accuse the other person of something they are not doing, the person will try to defend him/herself and will get involved in an emotional argument.
Her second text to me confirms that she wants to still have some type of relationship with you, and now that the "argument" technique did not work, playing nice might.
Here is my general opinion on the issue of contact/no contact. It is a great way of putting the relationship behind you, and coping with the loss/regrets. It is not about winning. I see this argument about winning over her/him all the time. It is not healthy to think of these events in life as competition, they are not. She broke up with me, so now I got to do what I can to be the "winner". Let's be honest, there are no winners here. Every time there is a break down in a relationship between two human beings, we lose part of ourselves, and we also gain some insight about ourselves. We become a little less flexible, yet wiser. What we can do at the end is learn from these experiences, and move forward.
What my ex-girlfriend did to me was absolutely wrong, and unethical. But that is not what bothers me the most. What bothers me the worst is the way I reacted to it, in an angry fashion. The relationship had to end, and no matter what happens now, no matter how many texts she sends me, I will not feel like winner, because I know that I lost part of myself, self-respect, and dignity that way. I learned my lesson, and will not repeat it, but I did not "win".

One more thing on "winning", your ego-boost should come from your accomplishments in life, not from how many texts or messages you are getting from a person who dumped you. Your ego, integrity, and confidence should not have been dependent on that person anyway.

I am a female. :D

Lifeistough is correct. "Accuse the other person of something they are not doing, the person will try to defend him/herself and will get involved in an emotional argument" and "now that the 'argument' technique did not work, playing nice might."

Little kids do this all the time on the playground. Sally won't speak to Susie. Susie tells Sally, "Everyone says you are fat." Sally forgets she isn't talking to Susie and hotly declares, "I am not fat!" Bingo! Susie got Sally to talk to her.

If that doesn't work, every time Susie sees Sally, she smiles and says, "Hi!" If Sally doesn't respond, she risks being classified as a meanie.

It all has to do with power and control.

Why does it matter now? It's not like she is stalking you. Texting "Hi"? What's that, after not talking for months - it's totally meaningless and I wouldn't waste my time trying to figure it out. Ask yourself why do you care. Do you regret changing your number? Do you hold out any false hope that later on she'd contact you again and actually will have something to say?

There are no winners after break up. When relationship ends, no matter who dump who, both have to deal with feelings of loss. Her meager attempts to reestablish contact may give you an ego boost of a kind - like she still wants you after all this time apart - but in reality, if she'd want to talk, she'd pick up the phone and would have a real conversation with you. Not just sending "Hi". So forget it, and good luck.

It all has to do with power and control.

What do you mean here?

Why is she even bothering tEXting me. She left me, she told me she didn't love me anymore. She told me she didn't know what she wanted. And she also said: I don't see a future with you, so why bother being with you.

if she'd want to talk, she'd pick up the phone and would have a real conversation with you. Not just sending "Hi". So forget it, and good luck.

Which is my point. If she wanted to have a conversation with me, or wanted to have any type of relationship with me. Wouldn't any normal human being pick up the phone and talk to the other person. Which is why, this does not make sense.

Also, as I have said in the OP, I don't have any false hope. And no, I do not regret changing my number. I am just curious as to what this means. I just can not accept things for what people say. Which is why during class, teachers are always calling doctors to explain things to me because they are not educated enough to explain things to me with their backgrounds.

It all has to do with power and control.

What do you mean here?

Why is she even bothering tEXting me. She left me, she told me she didn't love me anymore. She told me she didn't know what she wanted. And she also said: I don't see a future with you, so why bother being with you.
What happens in your non-relationship if you reply?

What happens in your non-relationship if you reply?

I don't really understand what you are trying to get at here.

Why is she even bothering tEXting me. She left me, she told me she didn't love me anymore. She told me she didn't know what she wanted. And she also said: I don't see a future with you, so why bother being with you.
All right, since you're so persistent, I'll try...

1. She is lonely.
2. She is bored.
3. Her next relationship didn't work out or god forbid she got dumped - so now she runs back to her comfort zone, which is you.
4. She knew you cared for her and tries to see if you still do - which is an ego boost for her.
5. She doesn't want you, but she doesn't want you to move and not to want her.
6. She tries to see of she still has power over you and is able to drag you back into her old drama.
7. She wants you as a fallback until next guy will come around - and then she'd dump you again.

And so on, and so on. The only thing those pitiful texts do NOT indicate is that she wants to reconcile with you. Or as I said before and you agreed - she'd be having a real and mature conversation with you.

So why exactly do you care? Her last attempt was on June 12, which is almost 1.5 months ago. Why are you asking yourself these questions now?

Wow. I have never met the most rudest people in the whole world. You guys are really being ignorant.

I thought this forum was suppose to be about answering questions. Not bashing someone for wondering, and wanting advice.

Holly $hit. Please have a mod delete this. And this forum has just lost a member.

I'm going to take a stab at explaining what WG said. If I'm wrong, sorry WG. :)

What would happen if you respond? Would it make a difference? You've already said it's over, you're done, not going back, you're over it. So why does it matter?

Here's my interpretation of why she's texting.

She broke up with you. She left you. She's female. We female's tend to be nurturing caring beings. We don't like to hurt someone. It's much easier to walk away if we're the ones that are hurt. So, by texting you and claiming that you're spreading rumors that she cheated, she can put the blame on you, make you the bad guy. Then she can feel like she had a good reason to leave.

It doesn't make sense, because really, the only reason she needed to leave you was the one she gave, that she's not in love with you, but I'm sure she feels guilty that that's the only reason she had to leave. Making you the bad guy makes her feel better for leaving.

Forget about the texts and move on, or obsess about what they mean, drive yourself crazy about it, and put your life on hold even more because you can't let it go. Personally, I like option A.

As for your ego, if you need her in order to boost your ego, than you need more help than we can provide. You are the one that either makes your life great, or bad. It's in your hands. You ego should be boosted because of who you are, not because other people are failing in your eyes.

Wow. I have never met the most rudest people in the whole world. You guys are really being ignorant.

I thought this forum was suppose to be about answering questions. Not bashing someone for wondering, and wanting advice.

Holly $hit. Please have a mod delete this. And this forum has just lost a member.

Wow!

Did you come here for validation or advice?

If you want someone to mollycoddle you and tell you what you want to hear, go to your friends, or your mom.

You wanted advice, and you got it. It may not be what you wanted to hear, but it is good advice.

You can choose to ignore the posts you don't find helpful, but considering that you can't even ignore texts from your ex, I guess that's not something we can expect you to do here.

Do you want the truth, or do you just want to hear that you're the best, she was a fool to leave, of course she's texting because she wants you back?

If it's the second option, then call your friends, they'll tell you what you want to hear, because they're too afraid to tell you the truth.

Good luck.

I'm going to take a stab at explaining what WG said. If I'm wrong, sorry WG. :)

What would happen if you respond? Would it make a difference? You've already said it's over, you're done, not going back, you're over it. So why does it matter?

Here's my interpretation of why she's texting.

She broke up with you. She left you. She's female. We female's tend to be nurturing caring beings. We don't like to hurt someone. It's much easier to walk away if we're the ones that are hurt. So, by texting you and claiming that you're spreading rumors that she cheated, she can put the blame on you, make you the bad guy. Then she can feel like she had a good reason to leave.

It doesn't make sense, because really, the only reason she needed to leave you was the one she gave, that she's not in love with you, but I'm sure she feels guilty that that's the only reason she had to leave. Making you the bad guy makes her feel better for leaving.

Forget about the texts and move on, or obsess about what they mean, drive yourself crazy about it, and put your life on hold even more because you can't let it go. Personally, I like option A.

As for your ego, if you need her in order to boost your ego, than you need more help than we can provide. You are the one that either makes your life great, or bad. It's in your hands. You ego should be boosted because of who you are, not because other people are failing in your eyes.

HOLLY god damn in a bucket.

I guess you have to watch what you say on these forums, or, everyone is out to cut your throat--in one second.

Does no-one understand what an ego-boost refers to? I mean, I guess I should have rephrased my message a bit. But, I meant it in a way about feeling good about her still wanting me.

And it really saddens me the way people are responding to my messages. Its as if they don't even read my OP, nor do they even know my story.

I am an active member, and read everyone story, and give great detailed advice in every post I give. I answer the questions that the OPs asks. I do not BASH them, or put them down, or cut their throats.

Did we really need to bash me, and ask rhetorical questions that do not pertain to my question?

Wow!

Did you come here for validation or advice?

If you want someone to mollycoddle you and tell you what you want to hear, go to your friends, or your mom.

You wanted advice, and you got it. It may not be what you wanted to hear, but it is good advice.

You can choose to ignore the posts you don't find helpful, but considering that you can't even ignore texts from your ex, I guess that's not something we can expect you to do here.

Do you want the truth, or do you just want to hear that you're the best, she was a fool to leave, of course she's texting because she wants you back?

If it's the second option, then call your friends, they'll tell you what you want to hear, because they're too afraid to tell you the truth.

Good luck.

Uhm. Yeah, its called "Ask me Help Desk". Which refers to: Asking questions, getting some opinions. Which my questions were, if you read the OP:


I would like some opinions[/B] on this. I am very curious as to why my ex-girlfriend would tEXt me. I know you guys are just going to say: It doesn't matter--Just move on--or that only she knows what those tEXt means. But, nevertheless I would still like to know whats going on.

:rolleyes:


You can choose to ignore the posts you don't find helpful, but considering that you can't even ignore texts from your ex, I guess that's not something we can expect you to do here.

Do you want the truth, or do you just want to hear that you're the best, she was a fool to leave, of course she's texting because she wants you back?


Keep cutting those throats. Is it needed?

She broke up with you in January... sent you TWO meager texts over this whole time. One of them was accusing you of something you didn't do, another saying "Hi", and even that was over a month ago. What kind of ego boost you can get out of this, and what is it to win here?

I really want to help, as I am sure others do too, and this board is full of very empathetic people who are willingly offer their time and wisdom to anyone left in relationship darkness, but I guess we all misunderstood your question.

Good luck though.

I am an active member, and read everyone story, and give great detailed advice in every post I give. I answer the questions that the OPs asks. I do not BASH them, or put them down, or cut their throats.

Really? Because I found this post of yours rather harsh.


What did we say? Why can't you listen to us?. Delete, all ties. This includes but is not limited to:

Facebook
Myspace
Any Blogs
Any Social Networking sites
Youtube

F###K, also, do me a favor and CHANGE your number, and your e-mail address... and for your own dignity, please put your AIM on Privacy.

Yeah, it sucks, but you need to completely ditch any loose ties to her, any connection she can have with you, and any connection that she could easily get a-hold of. This is also for YOUR benefit also. Out of sight, out of mind.

etc.

Found here;

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/gf-3-years-dumped-me-help-489900.html

Post #20

Shall I post more?
.

Really? Because I found this post of yours rather harsh.



etc.

found here;

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/gf-3-years-dumped-me-help-489900.html

post #20

Shall I post more?
.


Yeah... And if you read the quote:


Well guys, thought I wouldn't update this but after today I feel compelled. To be honest with you, I hate facebook. When moving my things out of the apartment today I took the time to look at it and it only hurt me (I know shouldn't have done it). It hurts to see that only 4 days before we break up she says, "Eating dinner with my cutie watching TNG." Then she goes to state about our break-up, "We had issues that we couldn't work out over the 3 years and he wouldn't respect me not wanting to workout". Well, I guess there is one of my screw-ups there. I wanted her to take care of herself but guess I should have shut my mouth (I know, don't bash me... lesson learned).

I just don't see the need for her to broadcast our break-up and problems on a social site. Since then I have made my friend change my login and pass to something I don't know. That way I won't look at her page and even if I wanted to I couldn't do it. This sucks guys, I didn't want this to happen.

And if you read the Whole thread, you would see that we have told him what to-do. And the post is not harsh at all.

Go ahead post more. :rolleyes:

Altenweg agrees : I don't think he's looking for help. He's looking for validation..

And there we go again. Cutting throats. Keep diggin' your hole. Cause you're the one who's being harsh here. You are the one who is being condescending, and assuming things.

You're acting like a child. You even went as far as to find post I have made. And acting like they are harsh. God damn, thanks for my ego-boost. ^_^

umad?

Does no-one understand what an ego-boost refers to? I mean, I guess I should have rephrased my message a bit. But, I meant it in a way about feeling good about her still wanting me.

And it really saddens me the way people are responding to my messages. Its as if they don't even read my OP, nor do they even know my story.


This will be merged to your story where it should have been posted in the first place. Posted here it is out of context and context is most of he meaning in communications.

If you get an ego boost out of her contacting you, then you are still involved emotionally. IF you had asked these questions a month ago, it would have been more understandable than it is now when you claim it doesn't matter.

That you have been thinking about this for over a month, says that you need to examine why it is so important to you to know that a month ago she was thinking about you.

This will be merged to your story where it should have been posted in the first place. Posted here it is out of context and context is most of he meaning in communications.

If you get an ego boost out of her contacting you, then you are still involved emotionally. IF you had asked these questions a month ago, it would have been more understandable than it is now when you claim it doesn't matter.

That you have been thinking about this for over a month, says that you need to examine why it is so important to you to know that a month ago she was thinking about you.

Just delete this thread please.

And there we go again. Cutting throats. Keep diggin' your hole. Cause your the one whos being harsh here. You are the one who is being condescending, and assuming things.

You're acting like a child. You even went as far as to find post I have made. And acting like they are harsh. God damn, thanks for my ego-boost. ^_^

umad?

Mad? No. I find it really amusing that you think you're the victim here.

You're the one that attacked us. When someone takes a swing at me, I don't sit in the corner and suck my thumb, I fight back, especially when the swing was unjustified.

So continue to play the victim. The big mean people on a website told you the truth and you couldn't handle it. No wonder your ego needs a boost. :rolleyes:

Good luck.

Mad? No. I find it really amusing that you think you're the victim here.

You're the one that attacked us. When someone takes a swing at me, I don't sit in the corner and suck my thumb, I fight back, especially when the swing was unjustified.

So go ahead and continue to play the victim. The big mean people on a website told you the truth and you couldn't handle it. No wonder your ego needs a boost. :rolleyes:

Good luck.

Umad?

umad?

Lmao!

Mad? No. I find it really amusing that you think you're the victim here.

You're the one that attacked us. When someone takes a swing at me, I don't sit in the corner and suck my thumb, I fight back, especially when the swing was unjustified.

So go ahead and continue to play the victim. The big mean people on a website told you the truth and you couldn't handle it. No wonder your ego needs a boost. :rolleyes:

Good luck.

Where does other post bra? You got that post or what? Or u just admiting that you got notin? Cause you be madden 98 all that bra.

Umad brah?

I still be waiting for dos other posts. So Pm me those bra. :)

I don't believe the poster wants help, of if they do, they want someone to merely agree with them. I could be wrong, but in any case, thread closed.