My child is 2 and half yr. old very sharp smart beautiful ,active but very stubborn . Always do the things how she wants.. some thimes the things become harmfull to her. What she wants if I give her then her mood is OK if I say no she starts crying very badly. She screems very loudly. I ignore to sclod and slap her,but she never listen what I am saying, meanwhile if I give her what she wants she throw it.. she cries on floor and hit her legs and arms very badly on floor. If I leave her and don't pay attentin towards her then after half an hour she become normal. How to change her attitute?

My friends call this "the terrible two's", I'm unsure if this is fact or not but perhaps. To me it sounds like she is becoming spoiled, do to her reaction or testing her limits as children tend to do at that age. So it will have to be on a continued basis of not feeding into when your child is not acting the way you would like, and only earn rewards for good behaviour.

The way my culture handles this I doubt several people today may disagree... but here are some articles that may help handle the situation:


10 Ways to Tame Your Kid's Tantrums (http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/discipline/tantrum/tame-your-kids-tantrums/?ordersrc=google7tantrums_slide&cobrandId=ww5&s_kwcid=TC|6870|how%20to%20handle%20toddler%20tant rums||S||3791641468)

TEMPER TANTRUMS (http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/t063300.asp)

How do I handle my toddler's tantrums, which just go on and on? | BabyCenter (http://www.babycenter.com/404_how-do-i-handle-my-toddlers-tantrums-which-just-go-on-and-on_11622.bc)

How To Handle Your Toddlers Temper Tantrums (http://www.thelaboroflove.com/articles/how-to-handle-your-toddlers-temper-tantrums/)

You need to try to be more consistent. Sometimes you give in to her, sometimes you don't. Sometimes you scold, sometimes you slap, sometimes you ignore. She doesn't know what to expect so she keeps persisting in her bad behaviour in the hope she will get what she wants.

Firstly work out when it is important to say no. Obviously if she wants something harmful that's a definite no.

Once it is clear in your mind that the situation is something you need to say no to, do so and mean it. A simple explanation can be given such as, "No you can't have that it is sharp and will hurt you." After that no giving in to wheedling. Stay calm and just say no.

If it is something like she wants sweets but it is nearly dinner time tell her not yet, you can have some after dinner. Then stick to it.

Once you have said no but allowed her to change your mind or given in for a quiet life you will be back to square one. You must stick to your guns firmly but without losing your temper.

Yes she will scream and tantrum for a while but as long as she isn't hurting herself that's no big deal. Once she learns that no matter what she does you stick to your guns she will get fed up with it herself.

If she is actually hurting herself in her tantrum do what you need to in order to keep her safe until she has calmed down. You might be able to sit her in an armchair, with you sat in front if necessary, and tell her she must stay there till she is calm. You might need to actually hold her on your lap, facing away from you so it is clear you're not rewarding with a cuddle and so that she cannot strike at you easily. This is a last resort if you need to keep her safe. Restraining an angry child is no fun for either for you.

Remember that bad behaviour is often attention seeking. Make sure you balance your firm stance with lots of positive attention and praise for when she is behaving nicely. Make sure you don't say no just by habit. Eg she wants a story but you are busy hoovering. In this case make the time to say yes, the hoovering will wait and your child will be much happier if she knows you only say no when it is important. Once she has learned to accept no, or not yet, a bit better you can tell her she can have a story after the hoovering.

If you promise she can have something later make sure you stick to your promise.

Learn to distract. Eg you are making the dinner and she wants to play with the knives. Tell her no but offer her something else safe that will make her feel involved. Let her polish some spoons or scrub some vegetables. Kids love to feel they are doing grown up stuff.

Yes, as QLP said the distraction is a great way to get a child out of a tantrum. Gently hold the child or hug the child, without saying anything and give her something she will like... or say, "oh look, let's go find (some little toy she likes)". Even take her outside for a few steps and distract her with anything. Hitting her will not make her understand and too many no's will enforce the negative and she will just say "no" back to you.

Let distraction become a gentle loving method, and then it will become natural to you the more it is practiced.

The suggestion from the other posters are excellent I just wanted to add...

Positive reinforcement,when she does something good or behaves well,give her lots of praise.

A sticker system on the fridge.. when she is good she gets a sticker... dont take stickers away!

Give her,her own 'jobs' to do... example,putting the toys in a toy box.

Or,helping you perpare dinner,example,passing you the veg.

Lots and lots of praise.

Routine,routine routine... and have very clear rules about what she is not allowed to do,use 'no' sparingly.

Mother toddler groups,helpful for her to learn social interaction and flex her social skills,also a good support system for you.