Hi I have been living with my boyfriend for 2 months now. We weren't living in the same province before, so obviously he would watch porn and I would too. Now that we live together, he says he watches porn about once a month, before he would think about me while he was masturbating to the porn. But the other day he watched it and tried to hide it, when I asked him why he wanted to hide it, he said that he wasn't thinking about me while masturbating but thinking that he was having intercourse with that porn star... Is that normal?? He never watches porn when I'm not home just when he really has a need to masturbate. I don't care that he masturbates, I masturbate when I'm alone too, I just don't look or think of another guy when I do it... Maybe he's not satisfied of our sexual life? He says that am insecure and that what he does is 100 % normal... I don't know what to think... My boyfriend has always respected me. Your comments would be really appreciated.

Its normal to have fantasies,that don't include you,it does not mean he does not love you or disrespects you..

You can't be the star of the fantasy all the time...

Think about how he treats you?

Do his actions show he respects you?

I think that it is very normal to fantasize about someone outside the relationship as long as it stops there.

The fact that he was thinking about the unattainable and not the girl down the local is also a testament to him too.

I don't think there is anything to worry about.

You say he treats you well, so what's the problem?

But the other day he watched it and tried to hide it, when I asked him why he wanted to hide it, he said that he wasn't thinking about me while masturbating but thinking that he was having intercourse with that porn star...Is that normal ????

Yes. I watch porn and at times I am fantasizing about my Girl Friend, other times, I am fantasizing about the Porn Star, and other times I am not fantasizing about anything and just enjoying the moment and the feeling; sort of like a Zen moment.


He never watches porn when I'm not home just when he really has a need to masturbate.

I would call BS on that, but only because of personal experience. I tend to only masturbate when I am not likely to be disturbed. Nothing like my downstairs roommate coming upstairs and seeing myself wanking. That was awkward.

Porn and masturbation is a very personal thing, and it can feel like an invasion of privacy to have it 'exposed'. There is also the slight societal pressure that views it as naughty, or deviant behaviour.


I don't care that he masturbates, I masturbate when i'm alone too, I just don't look or think of another guy when i do it...Maybe he's not satisfied of our sexual life ?? [

I wouldn't say that. Not knowing him, as well as the vague details you've provided, I can't say that he isn't satisfied. Chances are that he is satisfied. I hate to label it as such, but it is a guy thing. Every now and again we just need to rub one off. To relieve tension, or because it feels good. It really has no bearing on your sex life unless he is obsessing about it and would rather masturbate to porn instead of making love to you. It doesn't sound like this is the case.


He says that am insecure and that what he does is 100 % normal...I don't know what to think...My boyfriend has always respected me. Your comments would be really appreciated.

I don't think you're insecure, but I think he might be showing you his boundaries. When he feels the need to masturbate, just let him do his thing. I am sure you wouldn't really want him intruding on yourself while you're relieving yourself.

Last thing in this long rambling post. Many men don't like to advertise the amount that they masturbate. They don't want to give you the idea that they are 'sexual addicts' and that they're only interested in your body.

Just give him some space. If your sex life starts to suffer then talk to him. This relationship is still VERY new so give it a bit to catch it's stride.

It's very normal to masturbate and fantasize about all sorts of things - including other people.

That's why they are called 'fantasies'. That's what female porn stars and PlayBoy centerfolds get paid for, to be the object of men's fantasies.

Try not to worry about this stuff - it's not about you or your sexual relationship, and it's certainly not about any disrespect.

I think what he said is commonly true.

Don't know... I had one lover chastise me over the idea of sexually explicit materials... yet she had several books with erotica, regularly bought cosmo for the sex articles, and had several pieces of mildly erotic art containing beautiful female forms. Her erotica seemed to be more palitable because it either had a back story or was commissioned.

Seems to me her vibrators didn't have my voice, my kiss, or my touch.

Is he an attentive lover? Are your needs (outside of this distraction) met usually?

Thank you ! I love everyone's comments !