I feel like a trampt



Stop it! And I'm not giving up on you and you'd better not give up on yourself.DO NOT put yourself down. I have prayed for you throughout the day "God Don't Make Any Junk". You are worth something. We all make mistakes but when we realize they are mistakes we try not to do them again. You stop it now. Hugs

I'm sorry to be such a pain. I promise I'll try to start figuring some of thes things out for myself. Thanks again ohso. I appreciate it.

You're not a pain, I like helping. :)

I feel like a tramp

Emop, I know you are going through a bad time right now but you have to remember that this isn't a chat site.

If you have a problem you need to clearly explain what it is.

If you have a problem you need to clearly explain what it is.
She has. Please read from the beginning, and you will see the problem.

We love you EMOP and we are here for you. Take it one day at a time.

Emop, I know you are going through a bad time right now but you have to remember that this isn't a chat site.

If you have a problem you need to clearly explain what it is.


She's been having a rough time in the last couple of days. Rougher than usual. Blessings

Sorry, meant to explain and got kicked off fast! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I guess I deleted the explanation in my rush, I'm sorry guys, please forgive me

Here's my problem: AS FRIENDS I went to the movies with my friend. A guy friend, but still just a friend. We were watching the movie, behaving pretty well, and I said I was cold, so he put his arm around me. About half an hour later, he kissed me. It progressed to touching and heavy kissing, "making out" I guess. It was unexpected, I really didn't intend on this happening, but now I feel like a loose girl for this. I especially feel like this because he isn't sure if it meant anything to him, as he told me after I got home last night.

Sorry, meant to explain and got kicked off fast! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I guess I deleted the explanation in my rush, I'm sorry guys, please forgive me

Here's my problem: AS FRIENDS I went to the movies with my friend. A guy friend, but still just a friend. We were watching the movie, behaving pretty well, and I said I was cold, so he put his arm around me. About half an hour later, he kissed me. It progressed to touching and heavy kissing, "making out" I guess. It was unexpected, I really didn't intend on this happening, but now I feel like a loose girl for this. I especially feel like this because he isn't sure if it meant anything to him, as he told me after I got home last night.

I think you kind of went for it because you wanted to feel like someone (a guy) cared for you the way you want to care for another guy. Most of us have had impulsive moments like that. Just look back on it and learn from it the best way you know how.

And here's a bit of advice for you: If it was the right thing to do, you'd feel good about it. So let that be how you judge your behaviors and decide to learn from them.

Sorry, meant to explain and got kicked off fast! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I guess I deleted the explanation in my rush, I'm sorry guys, please forgive me

Here's my problem: AS FRIENDS I went to the movies with my friend. A guy friend, but still just a friend. We were watching the movie, behaving pretty well, and I said I was cold, so he put his arm around me. About half an hour later, he kissed me. It progressed to touching and heavy kissing, "making out" I guess. It was unexpected, I really didn't intend on this happening, but now I feel like a loose girl for this. I especially feel like this because he isn't sure if it meant anything to him, as he told me after I got home last night.

EMOP, why not try finding the person you are and I think it will be a good person you find. You don't need a guy to make you fulfilled. So spend some time finding you. There's a big world out there and as I said before.. You can be a help to someone. Someday when you least expect BAM you meet the man you want to spend your life with and he will feel the same if it's meant to be. You Take Care.

I think you kind of went for it because you wanted to feel like someone (a guy) cared for you the way you want to care for another guy. Most of us have had impulsive moments like that. Just look back on it and learn from it hte best way you know how.

And here's a bit of advice for you: If it was the right thing to do, you'd feel good about it. So let that be how you judge your behaviors and decide to learn from them.

I felt great about it until he said he needed time to think.


My mum has been telling me to date around, immediately. I had a date tonight with my other friend, but dad didn't let me go. I want to go out and have fun, take my mind off the break up. However, I feel I may be moving too fast.


I think the strong feelings I had for Cody were more fear of being alone than a desire to be with him.

I don't think you are a tramp or loose or any other negative word for a female. What I do think is that you are confused and feeling alone. I think you are in danger of looking for a new source of affection and 'stability'.

You need time to work through everything that has gone on and everything you have been through. I know you are strong enough to be on your own for awhile. Don't allow fear to rule your emotions and get into another relationship before you are ready mentally and emotionally.

When do you begin counseling with the new therapist?

EMOP, why not try finding the person you are and I think it will be a good person you find. You don't need a guy to make you fullfilled. so spend some time finding you. There's a big world out there and as I said before..You can be a help to someone. Someday when you least expect BAM you meet the man you want to spend your life with and he will feel the same if it's meant to be. You Take Care.

My problem is, I hate being alone. I need to work through that, I know.

I don't think you are a tramp or loose or any other negative word for a female. What I do think is that you are confused and feeling alone. I think you are in danger of looking for a new source of affection and 'stability'.

You need time to work through everything that has gone on and everything you have been through. I know you are strong enough to be on your own for awhile. Don't allow fear to rule your emotions and get into another relationship before you are ready mentally and emotionally.

When do you begin counseling with the new therapist?

Tomorrow I begin counseling.

Thank you Cat. I think you are right about my search for affection and stability

tommorow I begin counseling

Good. I hope it works out this time. :)

Good. I hope it works out this time. :)

I hope so too, but it is through the school

My problem is, I hate being alone. I need to work through that, I know.



Alone time can be so soothing. Try this, in your alone time read a good book. Write down all the things you would like to do when you are on your own. Keep a journal , it's like having a friend, you can write and it's your private thoughs no one else can share.

Workout , you don't have to have that really expensive gym equipment. Some two pound arm weight and running a mile or two a day or every other day can make you feel great! And you have all of us.

I hope so too, but it is through the school
Here's some advice from a counselor -- Don't start with "but"s. Don't set yourself up for failure. And don't just quit because you're not happy about how you think the counseling is going. There may be something very important going on that you aren't aware of. Question the counselor. YOU are the client. This is YOUR life that you are working on.

Alone time can be so soothing. Try this, in your alone time read a good book. Write down all the things you would like to do when you are on your own. Keep a journal , it's like having a friend, you can write and it's your private thoughs no one else can share.

Workout , you don't have to have that really expensive gym equipment. Some two pound arm weight and running a mile or two a day or every other day can make you feel great! And you have all of us.

I work out every day, run a mile and a half on the treadmill. I used to write in a journal, but when my parents found it, I was punished for depression.

I can't stand alone time. I spent the majority of my life in isolation, now I can't stand it for more than a few hours at a time

Here's some advice from a counselor -- Don't start out with "but"s. Don't set yourself up for failure. And don't just quit because you're not happy about how you think the counseling is going. There may be something very important going on that you aren't aware of. Question the counselor. YOU are the client. This is YOUR life that you are working on.

Very true WG, Good advice too

I work out every day, run a mile and a half on the treadmill. I used to write in a journal, but when my parents found it, I was punished for depression.

I can't stand alone time. I spent the majority of my life in isolation, now I can't stand it for more than a few hours at a time

It's like Wondergirl stated; ask your therapist questions for one why you hate being alone. He can suggest something which will help you.

Here's some advice from a counselor -- Don't start out with "but"s. Don't set yourself up for failure. And don't just quit because you're not happy about how you think the counseling is going. There may be something very important going on that you aren't aware of. Question the counselor. YOU are the client. This is YOUR life that you are working on.






Very Good Advice

very true WG, Good advice too
I'm a counselor. If something makes you wonder or question what is going on, before you quit counseling, post it here somehow and I (we) will help you untangle whatever knot has been tied.

I felt great about it until he said he needed time to think.


My mum has been telling me to date around, immediately. I had a date tonight with my other friend, but dad didn't let me go. I want to go out and have fun, take my mind off the break up. However, I feel I may be moving too fast.


I think the strong feelings I had for Cody were more fear of being alone than a desire to be with him.

It's good that you realize this. If you feel you need to slow down, then do so. At least you realize your feelings, pay attention to them, you'll be fine. :)

It's like Wondergirl stated; ask your therapist questions for one why you hate being alone. He can suggest something which will help you.
If the counselor is worth his/her salt, he/she will drag out of Emo herself what will help her. She knows herself far better than the counselor does, and a good counselor knows that. That's one of the reasons psychological counseling is called "the talking cure."

[QUOTE=Wondergirl;2241213]If the counselor is worth his/her salt, he/she will drag out of Emo herself what will help her. She knows herself far better than the counselor does, and a good counselor knows that. That's one of the reasons psychological counseling is called "the talking cure."[/QUOTE


Thanks for telling me that. Lots of people need to have someone to guide them. You do a great job.

Thanks for telling me that. Lots of people need to have someone to guide them. You do a great job.
Clients tell me, "You are such a good counselor," yet I hardly say a word. I listen to and reflect back to them what they say, am empathetic without buying into the problems they bring up, and elicit strategies for improvement from them based on their own ideas. Getting counseling is the hardest work a client can do. The client has to make a total investment in the process.

Wondergirl, I envy your patients. I truly do. I hope that my new counselor is like you

Wondergirl, I envy your patients. I truly do. I hope that my new counselor is like you


I totally agree with you EMOP. Wondergirl is truly a WONDER!

Wondergirl, I envy your patients. I truly do. I hope that my new counselor is like youThank you. I make my clients work hard. Let us know how things are going. We want counseling to be a helpful and useful experience for you.

I totally agree with you EMOP. Wondergirl is truly a WONDER!!
I call myself Wondergirl because my day job is librarian, and I wonder a lot.

I'm just afraid because of this law my guidance counselor told me about. If a counselor has suspisions of abuse or is told of abuse, they must call home to inform the parents of their suspicions or of the accusation. My fear is that to heal, I must be completely honest. To be completely honest, I must tell them of the abuse. If I do, they will make a call home and tell my parents of the abuse accusations

I'm just afraid because of this law my guidance counselor told me about. If a counselor has suspisions of abuse or is told of abuse, they must call home to inform the parents of their suspicions or of the accusation. My fear is that to heal, I must be completely honest. To be completely honest, I must tell them of the abuse. If I do, they will make a call home and tell my parents of the abuse accusations
Ask the counselor about the confidentiality issue. If I were your counselor, I would certainly explore the issue with you a bit and get all the details before blowing the whistle on anyone which, by the way, you should be told will happen and when before it does. If my client says her brother is a thief, I would not call the brother to say you accused him and ask him if he is a thief. Of course, he will be totally po-ed at you and will say no, he isn't a thief. I may even be putting your safety in jeopardy by doing it that way.

Are you SURE they call home to ascertain the truth of what you say? Any parent, abusive or not, will say no, of course not!

I'm just afraid because of this law my guidance counselor told me about. If a counselor has suspisions of abuse or is told of abuse, they must call home to inform the parents of their suspicions or of the accusation. My fear is that to heal, I must be completely honest. To be completely honest, I must tell them of the abuse. If I do, they will make a call home and tell my parents of the abuse accusations


So what will happen if they call your home. I think Wondergirl should answer this because I reall don't know what to tell you. I do know the abuse needs to stop!

Ask the counselor about the confidentiality issue. If I were your counselor, I would certainly explore the issue with you a bit and get all the details before blowing the whistle on anyone which, by the way, you should be told will happen and when before it does. If my client says her brother is a thief, I would not call the brother to say you accused him and ask him if he is a thief. Of course, he will be totally po-ed at you and will say no, he isn't a thief. I may even be putting your safety in jeopardy by doing it that way.

Are you SURE they call home to ascertain the truth of what you say? Any parent, abusive or not, will say no, of course not!

I asked my guidance counselor at school about it, and was shocked! There is a law where parents honestly are told of the accusations. It's basically saying to the parents, "hey, we are aware of this and we're watching"

In the seventh grade I convinced them not to call home and retracted my statement.

Today however, there are several "brats" falsely reporting abuse to "get back at" parents who have angered them

I asked my guidance counselor at school about it, and was shocked! there is a law where parents honestly are told of the accusations.
Hmmmm. And there is this: All states require the report to be made to some type of law enforcement authority or child protection agency. Reporting to a parent or relative will not satisfy the reporter's legal duty under the statutes.

If a parent is abusing a child, it makes NO sense to put that child in further jeopardy by calling that parent to find out if the accusation is true. Yet, I do know about false accusations and parents' reputations being ruined.

Hmmmm. And there is this: All states require the report to be made to some type of law enforcement authority or child protection agency. Reporting to a parent or relative will not satisfy the reporter's legal duty under the statutes.


Wow! Is my school possibly trying to pass off their own policy as law?

I am not doubting you WG, but can you cite that so I may bring that up in my session?

Is there a place to go if they do call ? I'm glad WG posted the law enforcement authority or child protection agency.

Wow! Is my school possibly trying to pass off their own policy as law?

I am not doubting you WG, but can you cite that so I may bring that up in my session?
I got that from this site, and it is about the 15th bullet down the page.

Mandatory Reporting of Child Abuse and Neglect - by Susan K. Smith, Atty., Hartford and Avon, CT. (http://www.smith-lawfirm.com/mandatory_reporting.htm)

What state do you live in, Emo?

Emop let us know how everything goes. We do care about you. Goodnight. Sweet dreams

Are you being abused now, Emo? Or are you considered "low risk"?

Are you being abused now, Emo? Or are you considered "low risk"?


I am so concerned about this girl. I talked to my daughter about her yesterday when we went up to see her at College. I know you can help her if anyone can. I feel so sad for her in my heart. Thanks WG.

I am so concerned about this girl. I talked to my daughter about her yesterday when we went up to see her at College. I know you can help her if anyone can. I feel so sad for her in my heart. Thanks WG.
(I thought you were going to bed.)

I can do only so much online, although I have called and talked with various AMHD members about all sorts of things (chatty or helpful) once they decided I'm not an axe murderer. :D

***ADDED*** For free, of course

(I thought you were going to bed.)

I can do only so much online, although I have called and talked with various AMHD members about all sorts of things (chatty or helpful) once they decided I'm not an axe murderer. :D

***ADDED*** For free, of course
Can't sleep when I worry. I have seen so many kids like emop in this world and I worry about what's going to happen to them. I really think I'm just going to go and see what's happening on the music forum. Thanks again WG. I feel better about EMOP, since you have given her such good advice. Talk tomorrow

I haven't been physically abused in multiple months, though a few weeks ago, my dad held my mum up by her throat, causing a physical fight between us

I haven't been physically abused in multiple months, though a few weeks ago, my dad held my mum up by her throat, causing a physical fight between us

Physical fight is the same is abuse. Hurting someone physically or through intimidation is abuse, and should not be considered anything else.

I haven't been physically abused in multiple months, though a few weeks ago, my dad held my mum up by her throat, causing a physical fight between us

That is abuse.

I guess I'm so used to it, I just see it as a family fight

It's abuse. Plain and simple. NEVER should a hand be raised to another person in a family. This is physical abuse.

I've also heard constant, extreme threats is verbal abuse. Is this true?

I've also heard constant, extreme threats is verbal abuse. is this true?


Yes it is!

I've also heard constant, extreme threats is verbal abuse. is this true?
Yes. There's also emotional abuse and, of course, sexual abuse.

Yes. There's also emotional abuse and, of course, sexual abuse.

Can you define emotional abuse for me?

can you define emotional abuse for me?

Abuse | Define Abuse at Dictionary.com (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/abuse)

** http://www.ndvh.org/get-educated/?gclid=CNaE_emGhaACFQwNDQodKm_Zjw **


http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&defl=en&q=define:Emotional+abuse&ei=kACCS7-UCtH1nAe41fzBBw&sa=X&oi=glossary_definition&ct=title&ved=0CA0QkAE

From counselingcenter.illinois.edu --

Emotional abuse is any kind of abuse that is emotional rather than physical in nature. It can include anything from verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics, such as intimidation, manipulation, and refusal to ever be pleased.

Emotional abuse is like brain washing in that it systematically wears away at the victim’s self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in their own perceptions, and self-concept. Whether it is done by constant berating and belittling, by intimidation, or under the guise of “guidance,” “teaching,” or “advice,” the results are similar. Eventually, the recipient of the abuse loses all sense of self and remnants of personal value. Emotional abuse cuts to the very core of a person, creating scars that may be far deeper and more lasting than physical ones.

Wow, that is really considered abuse?

Here's more from that site --

Types of Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse can take many forms. Three general patterns of abusive behavior include aggressing, denying, and minimizing.

Aggressing
* Aggressive forms of abuse include name-calling, accusing, blaming, threatening, and ordering. Aggressing behaviors are generally direct and obvious. The one-up position the abuser assumes by attempting to judge or invalidate the recipient undermines the equality and autonomy that are essential to healthy adult relationships. This parent-to-child pattern of communication (which is common to all forms of verbal abuse) is most obvious when the abuser takes an aggressive stance.
* Aggressive abuse can also take a more indirect form and may even be disguised as “helping.” Criticizing, advising, offering solutions, analyzing, probing, and questioning another person may be a sincere attempt to help. In some instances, however, these behaviors may be an attempt to belittle, control, or demean rather than help. The underlying judgmental “I know best” tone the abuser takes in these situations is inappropriate and creates unequal footing in peer relationships.

Denying
* Invalidating seeks to distort or undermine the recipient's perceptions of their world. Invalidating occurs when the abuser refuses or fails to acknowledge reality. For example, if the recipient confronts the abuser about an incident of name calling, the abuser may insist, “I never said that,” “I don't know what you're talking about," etc.
* Withholding is another form of denying. Withholding includes refusing to listen, refusing to communicate, and emotionally withdrawing as punishment. This is sometimes called the “silent treatment.”
* Countering occurs when the abuser views the recipient as an extension of themselves and denies any viewpoints or feelings which differ from their own.

Minimizing
* Minimizing is a less extreme form of denial. When minimizing, the abuser may not deny that a particular event occurred, but they question the recipient's emotional experience or reaction to an event. Statements such as “You're too sensitive,” “You're exaggerating,” or “You're blowing this out of proportion” all suggest that the recipient's emotions and perceptions are faulty and not to be trusted.
* Trivializing, which occurs when the abuser suggests that what you have done or communicated is inconsequential or unimportant, is a more subtle form of minimizing.
* Denying and minimizing can be particularly damaging. In addition to lowering self-esteem and creating conflict, the invalidation of reality, feelings, and experiences can eventually lead you to question and mistrust your own perceptions and emotional experience.

And is this illegal?

and immoral.

WOW! I never knew it was illegal! I thought that was just being mean!

Especially parent to child... an authority to a minor.

WOW! I never knew it was illegal! I thought that was just being mean!


Being mean is what my son annd daughter used to say about me when I wouldn't let them do something they wanted to do, like going to a Kiss or Metallica concert. Abuse of any kind is wrong.

especially parent to child...an authority to a minor.

I can't sleep. It's 11:13 p.m here. You're right again!

Being mean is what my son annd daughter used to say about me when I wouldn't let them do something they wanted to do, like going to a Kiss or Metallaca concert. Abuse is of any kind is abuse.
Of course, parents can say no to a child and can forbid him to do whatever he darn well pleases, and that's not abuse.

That's the problem with parenting today. Parents want to avoid "abuse" and be their child's friend, so they never refuse the child anything. In a way, that's a kind of abuse too. Parents walk a fine line as they raise a child.

especially parent to child...an authority to a minor.

EXACTLY! It does more damage because these people are the ones are supposed to look out for you and protect you, give you guidance. When someone who's supposed to love you hurts you, it hurts way more than when a stranger or acquaintance does it.

especially parent to child...an authority to a minor.


It's disgusting to think there are people in the world who could abuse someone they are supposed to be protecting. It makes me mad enough to bite a ten penny nail in half! I always told my children I'm the mom and your dad and I will not let you do anything we feel is not right. I was a mother to them, they already had friends. EMOP needs us and I am glad she has people who are smart enough to tell her what is the right thing for her to do. WG and ohso you all have a very good grasp on her situation. I know if someone hurt one of my children I would go ballistic.

It's disgusting to think there are people in the world who could abuse someone they are supposed to be protecting. It makes me mad enough to bite a ten penny nail in half!

That would hurt.

that would hurt.



I swear I think her dad needs to be horsewhipped and right in the middle of the town, wherever she lives. Maybe that would stop it. Lord I'm going to have a lot to ask forgiveness for when I do go to bed.

Of course, parents can say no to a child and can forbid him to do whatever he darn well pleases, and that's not abuse.

That's the problem with parenting today. Parents want to avoid "abuse" and be their child's friend, so they never refuse the child anything. In a way, that's a kind of abuse too. Parents walk a fine line as they raise a child.

My children weren't perfect but we were so strict on them. I thought about it after they ahad all left home one by one. My son told me one Christmas when he and his wife were here, he said; Mom I know you thought we hated you and Dad at times because you wouldn't let us do certain things, but now that I have kids of my own I really think I want to raise them just like you and dad raised us. Okay it's going to take me a while to say my prayers tonight so I Really am going to log off.

UPDATE:

Talking to my new therapist is wonderful. I see her every other school day!

She's wonderful. She's already figured out the roots of many of my problems!

UPDATE:

Talking to my new therapist is wonderful. I see her every other school day!

She's wonderful. She's already figured out the roots of many of my problems!

That is fantastic! Good for you! I'm glad you're getting some good help. :) Keep up the therapy!

That is fantastic! Good for you! I'm glad you're getting some good help. :) Keep up the therapy!

Thanks Ohso!

Thanks Ohso!

You really deserve to be able to see someone that you can confide in. And it's wonderful that you can trust her. I'm glad things are starting to go well for you now. :)

The only thing I can't confide in her is exact reasoning for hating my dad. Except little minuscule things. Can you believe my privacy issues are from my father punishing me about something I wrote in my diary he read when I was 7?

I'm soooo glad you are getting help. Blessings EMOP

The only thing I can't confide in her is exact reasoning for hating my dad. Except little miniscule things. Can you believe my privacy issues are from my father punishing me about something I wrote in my diary he read when I was 7?

Your diary is yours, unless you were REALLY having issues as a small child, he has no reason to look at them. And if those things that he read were about him, then he should have thought about WHY you saw things that way instead of getting angry at you, because if it WAS about him, then what you word was caused by something HE did, and he shouldn't blame you for his actions.

The only thing I can't confide in her is exact reasoning for hating my dad. Except little miniscule things. Can you believe my privacy issues are from my father punishing me about something I wrote in my diary he read when I was 7?
I hope you become comfortable enough with her so that you share that information with her too. It will go a long way toward your healing.

One other thing that I want to add: If anyone chooses to invade your privacy, then you are NOT responsible for the way they feel about it. If they're going in and looking for dirt, they better be prepared for what they might find. Your thoughts and diary are meant for you unless you choose to share them. So whatever he read, it's not your fault how he felt about it, it's his.

He read about me hating him and me kissing my first girlfriend. Haha

He read about me hating him and me kissing my first girlfriend. haha
And you don't want to tell your counselor this because..

And you don't want to tell your counselor this because....?

I told her that! I just can't tell her exactly why I hate my father. At least not yet

He read about me hating him and me kissing my first girlfriend. haha

I guarantee that he was more angry at himself then he was at you. But he doesn't know that, and he'd rather blame someone else. You know what I would do?

If you do start another journal make the first page say something like this:
"If you are reading this right now, without my consent, then be warned that there's a good chance that you will not like what you see. This journal is for me to write down my innermost thoughts, and if you don't like them, that's not my fault. I did not write this journal for you to read, or judge me, or punish me. . So you make the choice, because if you do continue, and decide you don't like it, I don't want to know about it. I don't care how you feel about what I wrote down, because I didn't write it down for you. I am not responsible for how you feel about what you had no invitation to read. So think carefully before you continue, because once you read it, you can't put it back on the page and forget about it, and it will have been entirely your choice to impose yourself on my thoughts Use your judgement"

Haha Ohso, I got in trouble for disrespect for something similar in my last journal!

Haha Ohso, I got in trouble for disrespect for something similar in my last journal!



A journal is your own personal thoughts and feelings. Your space should be respected by your parents.

A journal is your own personal thoughts and feelings. Your space should be respected by your parents.

It is by my mother

Haha Ohso, I got in trouble for disrespect for something similar in my last journal!

Disrespect? Is that a joke? They're disrespecting you by reading your journal. Screw that. They might be your parents but you DO have the right to your privacy. They can just get the heck over it. That's just childish. Just wait girly, one day you'll be moved out from there and can write down whatever you want_wherever you want, and they won't be able to say a darn thing about it. Disrespect - my a$$.

Disrespect? is that a joke? they're disrespecting you by reading your journal. Screw that. they might be your parents but you DO have the right to your privacy. They can just get the heck over it. That's just childish. Just wait girly, one day you'll be moved out from there and can write down whatever you want_wherever you want, and they won't be able to say a darn thing about it. Disrespect - my a$$.

*hug* you made me chuckle Ohso!

They play the "I'm the parent" card anytime I say I want privacy

Disrespect? is that a joke? they're disrespecting you by reading your journal. Screw that. they might be your parents but you DO have the right to your privacy. They can just get the heck over it. That's just childish. Just wait girly, one day you'll be moved out from there and can write down whatever you want_wherever you want, and they won't be able to say a darn thing about it. Disrespect - my a$$.

You are right! WOW! Please tell me if I ever make you mad! Well said ohso:D:D:D

*hug* you made me chuckle Ohso!

They play the "I'm the parent" card anytime I say I want privacy

I'd laugh at them. Just laugh and say "if you say so sir" because honestly, that's a joke. YES, you do have to obey and respect your parents to an extent, BUT, they have to show you respect too, this includes giving you your privacy. Really, when you can, you should try to move out. Maybe with a family member or someone you're close to. But only if you feel like it's the right thing to do, and you have the means to support yourself.

You are right! WOW! Please tell me if I ever make you mad! Well said ohso:D:D:D

LOL! Well you know, I call it like I see it. :rolleyes:

Last time I called dad sir, he punched me

Last time I called dad sir, he punched me

Then don't do that. We don't want you punched. OR, if he does do that, call the cops. Seriously. High tail it out of there and find a phone where you are safe, call the cops, and the child protective services. That's wrong on SO many levels for him to do that to you. And I'm guessing you're about half his size too. I hope that if you do get the guts to call the cops, he stays there for a while, maybe someone will punch HIM. I sure hope so.

Then don't do that. We don't want you punched. OR, if he does do that, call the cops. Seriously. High tail it out of there and find a phone where you are safe, call the cops, adn the child protective services. Thats wrong on SO many levels for him to do that to you. And I'm guessing you're about half his size too. I hope that if you do get the guts to call the cops, he stays there for a while, maybe someone will punch HIM. I sure hope so.

I want him to get the cell with Big Bubba... Yeah I am about half his size. I'm a bit chubby, but I'm still just a 5ft girl. He's a muscular 6ft man

I want him to get the cell with Big Bubba... Yeah I am about half his size. I'm a bit chubby, but I'm still just a 5ft girl. He's a muscular 6ft man

I sure hope he gets the small cell too, that way they have to squeeze in there NICE and cozy-like. I hear they don't get many blankets either. Bubba might get cold and want to cuddle. I know that's bad, but really, Karma will take care of it. I'm serious though, call the cops if he hits you again. Although, I really don't want you to wait until you're hurt again.

I want him to get the cell with Big Bubba... Yeah I am about half his size. I'm a bit chubby, but I'm still just a 5ft girl. He's a muscular 6ft man



Let the police take care of it.

The plan is, he raises a finger in harmful intent against any of us, including the dog, I call it in

The plan is, he raises a finger in harmful intent against any of us, including the dog, I call it in

Do it. I'm serious

Do it. I'm serious




That's the only way it's going to stop!

I plan on it Ohso. I want to hit those buttons then smile as they carry Daddy away to the car with the pretty lights

I plan on it Ohso. I want to hit those buttons then smile as they carry Daddy away to the car with the pretty lights

Make sure you have a way to be safe from him as you call, because chances are that if he's angry enough to hit you, he's angry enough to disconnect the phone and go after you once he knows what you're doing, so have a plan to protect yourself and family.

I plan on it Ohso. I want to hit those buttons then smile as they carry Daddy away to the car with the pretty lights



Might be nice to have a nice photo of him being led away in handcuffs.

Might be nice to have a nice photo of him being led away in handcuffs.

I'd hang it on my wall

I'd hang it on my wall

That might be too much. But a photo would be a sweet little memento.

That might be too much. But a photo would be a sweet little momento.

Ohso, I'd look up at night and think "My family is safe forever" and sleep soundly

I'd hang it on my wall



HaHa! Take him one to hang on the wall of his cell! SAY CHEESE DADDY DEAREST!

HaHa! Take him one to hang on the wall of his cell! SAY CHEESE DADDY DEAREST!

I wouldn't want to visit him. When he's out of my life, I'm cutting all ties

I wouldn't wanna visit him. When he's out of my life, I'm cutting all ties



Good for you ! You will feel a thousand times better about yourself!

You know what, that would be a very comforting thought.

I'm smiling!

Thinking of dad, yet smiling!

I'm smiling!

Thinking of dad, yet smiling!

I feel it!

I slightly hope he hits me soon

I can understand that, but at the same time, it's really not good. I'd say anticipate it, but don't wish for it.

I can understand that, but at the same time, it's really not good. I'd say anticipate it, but don't wish for it.


Exactly! You could get hurt and we don't want that!

I can understand that, but at the same time, it's really not good. I'd say anticipate it, but don't wish for it.

Perhaps hope was the wrong word. Anticipate sounds much better

perhaps hope was the wrong word. anticipate sounds much better

It's a healthier mindset too.

Your want isn't for him to hit you, it's for the opportunity to take action. That's why I undersntand.

Thank you all for everything so far. I just wanted to say that

Thank you all for everything so far. I just wanted to say that

You are very welcome my dear.

How common is child abuse? I figure I might as well post it here, else it'll be moved to here (as most do haha)

How common is child abuse? I figure I might as well post it here, else it'll be moved to here (as most do haha)


Look on the web or watch TV. It's horrible to think about the violence among family members.

I'm not quite sure what you mean

I'm not quite sure what you mean

She means that you can see it anywhere, watch the news or read the paper. It comes up a lot. And it never should

O but I mean statistically

She means that you can see it anywhere, watch the news or read the paper. It comes up a lot. And it never should

Look at Casey Anthony,Susan Smith, Andrea Yates. I could name a hundred. Spouses killing a wife or husband , example Scott Peterson. I'm sorry but I get so angry thinking about these people it makes me sick. In cases like theirs , DEATH PENALTY!

o but i mean statistically


What I am saying is go on the web and search for the statistics of child abuse. You are NOt going to like what you find. The statistics will horrify you.

1 in every 58?

Child Abuse in America...
Children are suffering from a hidden epidemic of child abuse and neglect. Over 3 million reports of child abuse are made every year in the United States; however, those reports can include multiple children. In 2007, approximately 5.8 million children were involved in an estimated 3.2 million child abuse reports and allegations.

Law Enforcement, Courts, & Prisons: Crimes and Crime Rates

295 - Crimes and Crime Rates by Type of Offense [Excel 47k] | [PDF 447k]

296 - Crimes and Crime Rates by Type and Area: 2007 [Excel 35k] | [PDF 447k]

297 - Crime Rates by State, 2006 and 2007, and by Type, 2007 [Excel 41k] | [PDF 448k]

298 - Crime Rates by Type--Selected Large Cities: 2006 [Excel 51k] | [PDF 469k]

299 - Murder Victims--Circumstances and Weapons Used or Cause of Death [Excel 44k] | [PDF 448k]

300 - Murder Victims by Age, Sex, and Race: 2007 [Excel 38k] | [PDF 448k]

301 - Homicide Trends [Excel 49k] | [PDF 448k]

302 - Homicide Victims by Race and Sex [Excel 55k] | [PDF 463k]

303 - Forcible Rape--Number and Rate [Excel 39k] | [PDF 458k]

307 - Violence by Intimate Partners by Sex, 1995 to 2007, and by Type of Crime, 2007 [Excel 38k] | [PDF 450k]

309 - Fraud and Identity Theft--Consumer Complaints by State: 2008 [Excel 38k] | [PDF 450k]

312 - Hate Crimes--Number of Incidents, Offenses, Victims, and Known Offenders by Bias Motivation [Excel 42k] | [PDF 449k]

313 - Hate Crimes Reported, by State: 2007 [Excel 42k] | [PDF 449k]

321 - Law Enforcement Officers Killed and Assaulted [Excel 42k] | [PDF 465k]

Man in East Midlands killed his two children aged three and four and committed suicide...

An Alabama man is accused of killing his four young children...

A man and his wife allegedly killed their three children in Orissa’s Bargarh district because they could not manage to feed them...

In San-Zhong near Taipei, a man and his wife killed their two little boys, putting them in a sealed room filled with carbon monoxide, and committed suicide...




Poverty, revenge, financial problems... all these reasons are silly enough to let the children breath their last.

In an incident of infanticide in Tamil Nadu, a mother named Lakshmi squeezed the milky sap from an oleander shrub, mixed it with castor oil, and forced the poisonous potion down the new-born's throat. The baby bled from the nose, then died soon afterward...

Andrea Yates, a mother of five who methodically drowned all of her children in a bathtub then calmly called police...

News paper reports are shocking as well as alarming. Even though parental love is incomparable, there are several reported incidents of fillicide, child murder by parents. Most of the times the innocent children are murdered by their own parents for silliest reasons, and in several cases the kids were mere victims of the revenge of father or mother towards their partner. Some studies suggest that because of some sort of mental instability parents murder their own children.

Parents killing their children is not rare. Statistics say that between three and five children are killed by their parents in the U.S. every day and more than 200 women kill their children in the U.S. every year. If it is the case with the highly civilised America, what would be the situation in other countries, especially in the third world countries.

The parents who kill their children for whatever reasons, consider their children as a commodity, not for sure, as human beings. Thus they are slaughtered when parents cannot feed them, they are killed when parents are afraid of social problems, kids are murdered to satisfy the cheap revenge against their mother or father.


This is the facts as horrible as they are.






Statistics

The world is as twisted as I thought

The world is as twisted as I thought
Walk through the mall and watch a mom viciously jerk a child's arm or yell when the child wants to go in a different direction or is overtired or wants candy that a store temptingly displays at the checkout registers. Is that abuse? Abuse of a child, especially emotional abuse, is so subtle that we don't even notice it most of the time. And if it happens in public, one can only imagine what happens at home.

The world is as twisted as I thought

You are one of the lucky ones, you're old enough to walk out and you are finally getting help. Some of these little children aren't old enough to fight for themselves. I'm proud of you! :):):)

Dad does in public

Dad does in public
And parents teach their children that another family's upheaval is none of their concern -- "mind your own business." This world would be a trifle better if we DIDN'T mind our own business so often.

Dad does in public


If he hits you in public, then I hope he runs into a big guy named Bubba who will teach him a lesson.

Bubba will get him in jail. Dad will be someone's girlfriend!

Bubba will get him in jail. Dad will be someone's girlfriend!
Hmmm. I don't believe in lowering oneself to your dad's level. Please don't go to the least common denominator.

And parents teach their children that another family's upheaval is none of their concern -- "mind your own business." This world would be a trifle better if we DIDN'T mind our own business so often.

You are right.. Disney World 2006. Man was yelling at his wife and little boy using profanity that would put a sailor to shame. I'm standing there waiting for my grandchildren to come of the bathroom. No one is doing a thing and there were some big guys passing by His wife is crying and so is the little boy. I walked over and said politely ,you should be ashamed of yourself! I looked at his wife and son and I ask the wife, why don't you take up for your child? She told me to mind my own business and the guy didn't say anything he was so stunned and maybe because my husband and the boys walked out of the bathrooms where we were standing. My husband is a big guy and when I told him what had happened the guy was already gone.
.
I was so mad I was crying, not for the woman who is dumb enough to stay with the jerk. I think of that little boy and I still see the image of hs little face.


Hmmm. I don't believe in lowering oneself to your dad's level. Please don't go to the least common denominator.


I think you reap what you sow. What goes around comes around either in this world or where you spend eternity.

The things that really get me in a fighting mood is when I see someone being mean to a little child. The next is a father or mother who abuse their children. Children are a gift, not a burden. I see these sweet little old folks who are left in a rest home and they crave attention. I hate to see an older child treating their parent like they are a burden.

I have said some things to people who I see doing this and it dosen't scare me at all to take up for them. It's like Wondergirl said about all these enticing things children see at the mall and yet when they cry the parents jerk them around by their arm or yell at them. I would love to shake them and say, these children are only children, don't treat them as if they are a inconvenience.

My third... People who are mean to animals. I hate it it makes me furious
Any human who would abuse and hurt a little animal would hurt and abuse a child. I believe that. Okay EMOP, I'm through ranting now.

The things that really get me in a fighting mood is when I see someone being mean to a little child. The next is a father or mother who abuse their children. Children are a gift, not a burden. I see these sweet little old folks who are left in a rest home and they crave attention. I hate to see an older child treating their parent like they are a burden.

I have said some things to people who I see doing this and it dosen't scare me at all to take up for them. It's like Wondergirl said about all these enticing things children see at the mall and yet when they cry the parents jerk them around by their arm or yell at them. i would love to shake them and say, these children are only children, don't treat them as if they are a inconvenience.

My third ...People who are mean to animals. I hate it it makes me furious
Any human who would abuse and hurt a little animal would hurt and abuse a child. I beleive that. Okay EMOP, I'm through ranting now.

I've gotten cut before defending the dog against dad... He's mean to everything.

I've gotten cut before defending the dog against dad... He's mean to everything.


You are a nice girl and I know soon you will be out of that horrible situation.

I desperately want to be with my x. Today he proposed a deal to me. That if I do not have sex with anyone for 10 months, we can be together again. I'm uncertain if I want to take this deal. Not because I plan on having sex, I don't, but because I do not like that he would be placing stipulations like that. Opinions?

EMOP.. concentrate on what is going on in your home. Deal with that and the fact that your father will be getting out of your life soon... DON'T get side tracked and end up in another bad situation with your ex boyfriend. You're seventeen, you have plenty of time for dating and finding the right one when you are out of the mess in your home life.

I'm almost out of home already

I'm almost out of home already


Then give yourself time to find out who you really are. Don't define yourself by thinking you need a man in your life ,another bad experience
Could send you spiraling right back to where you've been. There will be a nice guy someday but you need to work on yourself confidence first.

Then give yourself time to find out who you really are. Don't define yourself by thinking you need a man in your life ,another bad experience
could send you spiraling right back to where you've been. There will be a nice guy someday but you need to work on your self confidence first.

I agree 100%

I agree 100%



I have always told my own children the same thing.I always taught my children to be strong and independent and NEVER depend on anyone else to make them happy or NEVER let another person have the power to make them miserable.

Strength comes from wiithin yourself and through the Lord. Being by yourself and being happy about yourself is where strength begins. No guy can make you feel good about yourself if you don't like the person you are.
EMOP, I'm telling you the same thing I would tell my own kids, stay away from people who bring you down. We all care for you!

You don't need to have a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy.

Without sounding mean, it sounds like you might be a very needy person and you need to find your own way before dating or seeing or going out with anyone.

Sorry to be harsh but I just think you need to sort out your problems before dragging someone else into them.

When you say you are almost out of home are you planning on moving into your own place?
That's a great first step.

I agree, that's a wonderful first step. :)

I know in your other thread I told you its okay to date around, as long as you stayed within the bounds of good behavior, and I still think it's the right thing to do, but life is a lot more than just dating. Its also about what you do for yourself, that makes you happy, and able to do for yourself, as far as taking care of yourself.

Hard to leave home, and be on your own without the proper skills, and education, to support yourself. That would be a good balance in your life, and one that would give your future a big boost, and also more options, and opportunities, to really be able to do what you want, and not just depend on a guy for the basics of life. You can only have so much fun, and its more fun to be had when you can care for yourself, on your own. Now would be a great time to lay those foundations for the future