View Full Version : Is it legal for an x wife to put my last name on child not mine.
ttjay
Jan 26, 2010, 11:44 AM
Recently divored, have two children. My X wife gave my last name to her new child (as a result of an affair). The divorce settlement stated this was not to occur, be she has done so anyway. Not wanting this to be an issue for our two children later in life. Is there an Ohio law that prohibits the use of an ex spouses last name, in the books anywhere. Been looking through all the avenues that I can. Please any help .
Synnen
Jan 26, 2010, 11:53 AM
As far as I know, a woman can name her child anything she wants to. She could have used any last name in the world that occurred to her to use.
HOWEVER--if it was part of your divorce decree that she not do so, you will want to talk to your lawyer about it.
this8384
Jan 26, 2010, 12:23 PM
Recently divored, have two children. My X wife gave my last name to her new child (as a result of an affair). The divorce settlement stated this was not to occur, be she has done so anyways. Not wanting this to be an issue for our two children later in life. Is there an ohio law that prohibits the use of an ex spouses last name, in the books anywhere. been looking through all the avenues that I can. please any help .
As far as I'm aware, a name cannot be copyrighted. I find it odd that a judge can rule what someone can or cannot name their child. As Synnen already pointed out, the legal parents can name the child anything they want.
Is there a reason you don't want this child to share your last name? Obviously, a DNA test will prove you are not the child, so what issue do you have with it?
ttjay
Jan 26, 2010, 05:24 PM
first of all my other 2 children's well being, the heritage of my family, and all that comes with it, medical, inheritance, mental, and I'm tired of people shunning me thinking I left my x-wife high and dry. This child is the result of an affair. We still live in the same community. As well as the issues should apply to that child.
J_9
Jan 26, 2010, 05:27 PM
Were you married at the time of birth?
ttjay
Jan 26, 2010, 05:30 PM
Were you married at the time of birth?
Divorce papers were finallized but didn't get signed until after the birth. Which was a timed event.
Synnen
Jan 26, 2010, 05:34 PM
Then you're the legal father.
Congratulations!
Unless there is a denial of paternity signed by both you AND your ex-wife, you're considered the legal father.
What does your lawyer say about all of this?
J_9
Jan 26, 2010, 05:36 PM
divorce papers were finallized but didn't get signed until after the birth. Which was a timed event.
Papers weren't actually legalized until signed.
ttjay
Jan 26, 2010, 06:39 PM
Papers weren't actually legalized until signed.
As my understanding that does not apply when intent was there . So how is it that all the right goes to her to decide, what is good for her and her alone. Where is the children's right to not have to deal with this throughout there life, and that goes for the new kid of hers as well. Does the law not state in the best welfare of the kids. Is it right for my family and my children to have to fight when they get older for they inheritance. It is always going to have to be stated in every legal paperwork that that child is not mine, and therefor has no right to any of the same as my two. This is a life long deal, If she was to put her children ahead of herself , she could see the ramifcations of this.
this8384
Jan 26, 2010, 06:51 PM
as my understanding that does not apply when intent was there . So how is it that all the right goes to her to decide, what is good for her and her alone. Where is the childrens right to not have to deal with this throughout there life, and that goes for the new kid of hers as well. Does the law not state in the best welfare of the kids. Is it right for my family and my children to have to fight when they get older for they inheritence. It is always going to have to be stated in every legal paperwork that that child is not mine, and therefor has no right to any of the same as my two. this is a life long deal, . If she was to put her children ahead of herself , she could see the ramifcations of this.
You don't get it. If you deny paternity with the courts, they'll order a DNA test which will prove you are not the father. The child, regardless of the surname, will have absolutely no claim to your estate nor be entitled to any inheritance from you. You will not have to pay child support or anything else for this child.
The courts aren't going to buy the bit about it being "tragic" for the baby to share their surname. After all, the child IS their brother/sister.
You're worrying about something that won't happen IF you take the right steps to fix the problem now.
AK lawyer
Jan 26, 2010, 07:04 PM
... Is it right for my family and my children to have to fight when they get older for they inheritence. ...
Non-issue. If you leave a will it can recite that they get what they get and no one else gets anything. In any case it appears to be well-documented that the child is not yours, whatever it's name.
Is the actual father on the birth certificate, or are you?
ttjay
Jan 26, 2010, 07:21 PM
You don't get it. If you deny paternity with the courts, they'll order a DNA test which will prove you are not the father. The child, regardless of the surname, will have absolutely no claim to your estate nor be entitled to any inheritance from you. You will not have to pay child support or anything else for this child.
The courts aren't going to buy the bit about it being "tragic" for the baby to share their surname. After all, the child IS their brother/sister.
You're worrying about something that won't happen IF you take the right steps to fix the problem now. That was agreed on in the paper as well , that the child is not mine. Right along with the part about the child not bearing my name. Guess we'll find out, off to court we go. feb. 26th. Contempt of court as it stands . Let you know
ttjay
Jan 26, 2010, 07:27 PM
Non-issue. If you leave a will it can recite that they get what they get and no one else gets anything. In any case it appears to be well-documented that the child is not yours, whatever it's name.
Is the actual father on the birth certificate, or are you? Don't know for sure she speaks with forked tongue. Have taken care of the will on my part but it becomes an issue for my parents and brothers.
Alty
Jan 26, 2010, 07:30 PM
Did your ex wife change her last name back to her maiden name after the divorce?
I don't understand what the big deal is. This child will grow up as a sibling to your two children. It's only a name, you're not responsible for this child.
I'm sure there are other people on this earth that share your last name but aren't biologically related to you.
You're the one making an issue of this which will affect your children. Why can't you leave it alone?
Only the children will suffer and even though this child isn't yours, it doesn't deserve your scorn or hatred.
ttjay
Jan 26, 2010, 08:07 PM
Did your ex wife change her last name back to her maiden name after the divorce?
I don't understand what the big deal is. This child will grow up as a sibling to your two children. It's only a name, you're not responsible for this child.
I'm sure there are other people on this earth that share your last name but aren't biologically related to you.
You're the one making an issue of this which will affect your children. Why can't you leave it alone?
Only the children will suffer and even though this child isn't yours, it doesn't deserve your scorn or hatred. This does affect my children they want to know way I can't be a dad to the little sister, because she(the mother) has failed to explain the truth, its not scorn ,it the pain I see and hear from the kid as it has been a part of life already. Im suppose to just sit and watch this game unfold ,meanwhile my kids are confused and hurt. Why is it that I have no right to a life, without conflict. Its just the start . That child well have to be told the truth , for medical reasons someday . Is that really a kind way to start her new life, what ever happened to honesty, we no longer use that in bringing up kids. That seems to be for more caring for her , then it is to be concerned of herself(the mother) and the name game . Besides If/when she remarries is she going to tell her new husband sorry can't change my name, because of the children. Not likely... If she was her fighting for her maiden name for the child you'd say its only her right too,. that she has the sole right to decide. But If child support was in the equation that would change in a hurry(RIGHT?). And before you ask, we have 50/50custody. Listen rights right and wrong is wrong. She already agree to this in the papers.
Alty
Jan 26, 2010, 08:22 PM
I'm not saying that you don't have a right to fight this, I'm just wondering what the cost will be to your children.
How old are they? Do you really want honesty to be a part of this if they're young? Do you really want their mother, someone that may have wronged you but is still a major part of their lives, to tell them that she had an affair and their little sister is the product?
Don't you think they're dealing with enough because of the divorce? Now you want to add a legal battle into their lives.
I realize that you're upset, but I really don't think you're seeing all sides here, only your own.
ttjay
Jan 26, 2010, 09:18 PM
I'm not saying that you don't have a right to fight this, I'm just wondering what the cost will be to your children.
How old are they? Do you really want honesty to be a part of this if they're young? Do you really want their mother, someone that may have wronged you but is still a major part of their lives, to tell them that she had an affair and their little sister is the product?
Don't you think they're dealing with enough because of the divorce? Now you want to add a legal battle into their lives.
I realize that you're upset, but I really don't think you're seeing all sides here, only your own.
I do see all sides unfortunetly ,all to well . My daughter is 6 my son is 3 this all started when he was very young. They already seen her take off with them( WITH THE OTHER MAN) , had to be found by the cops so that I had my time with them, what you are not seeing is I'm a great dad these kid of mine are my life. They have been through heck already , but not by my doings. And yes this world would be a lot better if people was honest, My goodness are you not see what is going on with people now a days. I tell my kids to always be truthful, you think lying is the best way to handle this, I can look at myself in the mirror, not my problem if she can't. Besides your not listening it the effects of what I'm seeing that make this hole thing sad. She is no longer my concern ,My kids are!! As far as the legal battle now... better now than when they are older , so they remember all of it. Try walking in my shoe just for one second, Look at the confusion in the face of my little girl, who does remember some of the goings on with her mom. Lets see than where your heart would lie. Its tough on me in a major way. What you forget is she made a conscious decision to have the affair , was it the kids she was doing it for. Come on... None of this really matters I was looking for some input on the laws of this matter. But contempt of court is just that contempt , we agreed and signed the papers .
Alty
Jan 26, 2010, 09:20 PM
I wish you luck.
Let us know how it goes.
Synnen
Jan 27, 2010, 08:45 AM
So... when they ask why you can't be a dad to their sister, simply say that she already has a different daddy, who should be the one spending time with her.
And actually, no--you don't have a right to a life without conflict. No one does. You have the right to PURSUE happiness, but not a right to actual happiness.
I wish you luck in court next month--it sounds like you really do care about your kids.
I would, however, suggest counseling for you to help you get past the bitterness of the things your ex has done.
ttjay
Jan 27, 2010, 04:15 PM
So...when they ask why you can't be a dad to their sister, simply say that she already has a different daddy, who should be the one spending time with her.
And actually, no--you don't have a right to a life without conflict. No one does. You have the right to PURSUE happiness, but not a right to actual happiness.
i wish you luck in court next month--it sounds like you really do care about your kids.
I would, however, suggest counseling for you to help you get past the bitterness of the things your ex has done.thank you I well do the best for us as a family always .