Log in

View Full Version : What to do?


Athena Eleanor*
Jan 1, 2010, 01:34 PM
Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been going out for nearly 8 months, and have mostly had this amazing and story-book worthy relationship, for every moment. Lately we have been getting in stupid fights, but we always resolve them. Ever since the Christmas holidays started, he has seemed distant and not really worried with hanging out with me. We usually plan when we hang out in a week, and have amazing times when we do. I've asked him if anything is wrong, anything I'm doing wrong, but he just says no nothing is wrong and says he doesn't want to break up or anything. His actions show the opposite, he barely talks to me, text or phone, he never makes plans to hang out, but instead hangs with his friends. The other day I was giving him a handjob and he didn't even stay hard. I was horrified! That has never happened before.. . But neither has him not caring about me anymore. Looking at all these things, it might seem obvious to others he wants to break it off. . But every time I ask him something like that, he profusely denies it, and says he tries to do all he can to make me happy. I don't know what to do! Help please :(:(

Jake2008
Jan 1, 2010, 02:59 PM
Well, clearly something is bothering him.

I would say to not push it. If he's not texting as much, don't take that as a green light to text him more.

Give him time to come around, when he's ready.

scentedcandles
Jan 1, 2010, 03:27 PM
Like Jake says, there is something wrong... I don't want to be devil's advocate here, but might there be a triangle you don't know about?? Just sounds iffy to me... stupid fights, lack of libido,avoidance...
I hope you don't end up getting hurt, and that it's something of nothing... if you get me.

Best of luck xx

Athena Eleanor*
Jan 1, 2010, 04:38 PM
Okay thanks both of you. . and no jake2008 I don't text him more. I guess ill have to wait it out :/

jaime90
Jan 2, 2010, 03:21 PM
Sit down and have a conversation with him. Tell him that you know it's not his intention to make you feel 'unloved' in a way, but that is still how you feel. Talk things through with him. You've been together for 8 months and clearly your relationship is lacking openness, honesty, and communication, which are essential. This may be a story-book relationship in the romantic feelings department, but it hardly is in the lasting, true love department. You need to work on that.

JBeaucaire
Jan 2, 2010, 05:12 PM
Simple rule that applies to most guys... trust what they do, way more than what they say.

A guy who "says" all the loving sweet things in the world and treats you badly... what good is that?

And a guy who doesn't do all that well with words but manages to make sure you know how special you are with the way he treats you... why beat that guy up for not being able to speak it well?

Go with what he does, all of it. It is what it is, it's the reason you are dating in the first place.

It take 8-12 months for the "honeymoon" to wear off in a dating scene, so the way he is now is the most trustworthy of anything so far. This is the time most relationships do (and SHOULD) end. If it's going to end, it being a BAD horrible breakup is not a requirement. (most people don't realize this, they can only breakup mad).

Be honest. Feelings aside, can you wake up to THIS GUY for the next 65 years? I mean the guy he is being, not the guy you wish he was in your head, the guy he is.

A lot to think about. Being honest benefits you both.