My husband had an affair and the woman is pregnant she doesn't want the child we however do want it as we have never been able to have one together can she give up her rights to the child and alow me to adopt it and can she come back and try to take the baby away from us?

It might depend what state you are in. Where I live, the other woman can either voluntarily terminate her parental rights or do what is called a consent to adopt petition. Once the termination is entered she cannot change her mind. If she does a consent to adopt she has 10 days to revoke the consent. Once she terminates, you can petition to adopt the child. A judge would probably not allow her to terminate her parental rights unless there is a strong indication that you are going to adopt. The social policy theory being that a child should not be without a legal mother.

Yes you can certainly adopt the child. The mother cannot just terminate her rights. She has to do so as part of an adoption proceeding.

You and your husband need to consult an attorney specializing in Family Law to prepare the paperwork necessary for you to adopt.

Once the adoption is finalized she should not be able to retract. However, until it is finalized she could change her mind.

Please realize, as well, that ANY decision she makes about adoption isn't worth the words until after the baby is born.

For some people, a baby isn't real during pregnancy.

And please realize that adoption isn't like what it was 40 years ago. You will likely have an open adoption. You will be sending this woman pictures of "your" (collective your--meaning belonging to ALL of you) child at least once a year. You may be having her visit with the child on a regular basis, or semi-regular basis.

In most cases, birthparents do not just sign paperwork and go away anymore.

Can you deal with seeing the woman your husband had an affair with for at least the next 18 years?

Can you handle writing her a civil letter about the child?

Get COUNSELING about adoption. THEN see a lawyer.

I'm not really worried about that she has already given up 2 of her 4 children and has nothing to do with them and I don't see a problem with writing her letters and sending pics and such if this is what she decides to do I am planning on being there for her Dr. visits and such I want to be there to support her and watch the baby grow. Does any one know what is involved in something like this (i.e. home study, lawyers fees and such)?


Please realize, as well, that ANY decision she makes about adoption isn't worth the words until after the baby is born.

For some people, a baby isn't real during pregnancy.

And please realize that adoption isn't like what it was 40 years ago. You will likely have an open adoption. You will be sending this woman pictures of "your" (collective your--meaning belonging to ALL of you) child at least once a year. You may be having her visit with the child on a regular basis, or semi-regular basis.

In most cases, birthparents do not just sign paperwork and go away anymore.

Can you deal with seeing the woman your husband had an affair with for at least the next 18 years?

Can you handle writing her a civil letter about the child?

Get COUNSELING about adoption. THEN see a lawyer.

That depends on where you live. But $1500 give or take is close. But you have time to shop around for an attorney to get ideas for fees. Just don't wait very long.